Masking the Void
by m47e47l
Summary: They were two broken souls, each attempting to fill what was missing. But would it be enough...and what if it became too much? Jacob and Leah, post Book 2 of Breaking Dawn. Mature content within.
1. Empty

**Summary: **They were two broken souls, each attempting to fill what was missing. But would it be enough...and what if it became too much? Jacob and Leah, post Book 2 of _Breaking Dawn_.

**A/N: **One of my favourite things about _Breaking Dawn_ was the development of the relationship between Jacob and Leah. That it was completely forgotten in book 3 was completely frustrating. I have wanted to explore the 'what if' of ther relationship for a long time, and so here is my attempt. This is my first attempt at more mature fanfiction, so feedback would be very much appreciated.

* * *

Jacob strode purposely through the trees, wanting to get as far from the house as possible. Everything about that place was all the more confining now that the happy family were all together. '_Bella and the bloodsucker_,' he thought to himself. '_All cocooned in their own happiness. Good luck to anybody who wanted to break through_.'

Not that Jacob wanted to break through. It was hard enough for him to swallow watching from a distance. He had come to the conclusion that self torture was not the most productive use of time, and tried to stay away as much as possible...which was slightly difficult given that a member of his pack felt the need to stay close.

The air was starting to smell fresh. He was far enough away from the house that he was able to take a deep breath and not have his nose burn. He knew that up ahead there was a small clearing by the river. Jacob broke into a jog, pulling off his shirt. A swim was just what he needed.

He broke through the trees and squinted as the sun hit his eyes. Dropping his shirt, Jacob reached for his shorts and then froze. The clearing, which he had come to think of as his own private place, somewhere he could escape the happy ending romance, was not empty.

"Well, don't stop there," Leah's tone was biting. "Finish the show, or I'll have to ask for my money back."

Jacob's hands dropped to his sides and he suppressed an inward groan. Leah knew about the place, which meant an end to his peace and quiet. He turned and glanced at the water. He could, really, just jump in. Leah wouldn't want to get into a conversation with him- they worked best with companionable silences. The mutual truce they had come during the past weeks did not really mean conversations just for the sake of it.

"So what, I don't even garner a response?" Leah sniffed. "Doesn't surprise me..."

Jacob glanced at her. That wasn't her typical 'I don't care and I have better things to do' sniff. It was only then that he noticed the unusual brightness in her eyes...and the fact that she was wearing makeup and her hair looked like it belonged in one of his sister's magazines.

"What...where...?"

She looked up at him and all Jacob could see in her expression was himself. "Practice run for the big day," she said quietly, gesturing at her hair.

"Let me guess- you would have rather sat down to dinner with the leeches?"

Leah let out a small laugh as she nodded her head. "I got to sit, listening to the other bridesmaids gushing about how wonderful Sam was and how lucky Emily, and that they were perfect for each other, and that so few of us manage to find their soul..." her voice caught in her throat and she stopped short.

Jacob scratched his head, glancing back at the river. He really should have jumped in. He didn't know how to respond.

"And to top things off, "Leah continued after the moment it took for her to compose herself, "I had to put up with all these pitying glances. I could just hear what they were thinking..._ 'There's the one who got dumped...how hard this must be for her...can't really blame Sam though..._'"

"Can't blame Sam?" Jacob's mind was working furiously. "Emily told her family about imprinting?"

Leah gave him a withering stare. "No...but they all think I'm a bitch," she stated bluntly, and then shook her head. "Sorry, you don't want to hear this." She stood up and made her way over to Jacob, her nose wrinkling. "You've been hanging out with the leeches."

"Trying to," Jacob mumbled. "Seth was asking about you."

Leah shuddered. "Ugh. Him imprinting on that spawn just tops everything off. If only he could have kept his damn eyes shut, the other pack would have taken care of it, and everything could be relatively back where it should be." She looked up at Jacob, noticing his jaw tense. "Sorry, I guess that's not your ideal situation- Bella and all."

Jacob shrugged. "Bella doesn't seem to notice me all that much anymore. Too busy with her mummy duties...and filling up her nights."

Leah was silent for a few seconds. "Which of us do you think is worse off?"

"What do mean?"

"Well, there's me, who experienced having someone and then losing them. And then there is you, who never had them but still lost them. Is it harder to have had the experience and then lost it, or to never and be forever thinking about it?"

Jacob looked down at her, his eyes narrowed. "Are you seriously trying to start a conversation with me about Bella?"

"I—"

"You are a bitch, Leah," he spat out and then turned to walk away.

"Yeah, you're totally right," Leah yelled, her voice seeping with bitterness. It stopped him in his tracks. "I am the world's biggest bitch. I make everybody's life more difficult just by existing. But do you ever stop to think why? Why? I'll tell you why! Because I am so fucking miserable!"

Jacob turned around. "And that gives you the right—"

"No, that doesn't give me the right to makes others feel bad. But it's a reason. Ever since Sam... I have been so angry and filled with so much hate and it didn't seem fair that others weren't. Even you. Bella has bounced you back and forth and you can't even bring it in yourself to hate her. So why am I filled with it? Why do I have to go about life with this black cloud hanging over me? That is why I act the way I do Jacob. Because, I get so sick of what I am feeling, that I want others to feel it to. I know how completely selfish of me that is, but I don't care. I want others to feel as bad as me!"

"Leah, I—"

"But they never can. Do you know why? Because inside I'm empty. And they all have too much going on in their lives to allow them to feel the extent of what I do."

Jacob stood, staring at her for a few seconds. He knew that Sam had left her damaged, but until this point Leah had never let anyone see just how much. Seeing the usually strong and stoic girl breaking down in front of him was making him realise that perhaps he did have some sort of an allies in this insane situation.

"I know what that feels like, Leah."

Her head snapped up. "What are you talking about?"

"Empty," he stated simply. "The only girl I have ever loved...thought I loved...I don't know, whatever, well, she chose an un-dead ice box. It kind of has me thinking about what I really have to offer, and the results are kind of coming up empty."

"But," Leah stopped, as her body starting to tremble slightly. Jacob stepped back slightly. He had seen her like this, and he knew what would follow. "You go around with this facade...and you thoughts. I have never heard..."

"I try to keep that type of stuff quiet, Leah."

"How do you do it?" she yelled. "Why do you do it? Why live with that yourself!" She marched up to him and went to hit him across the chest. Quick as a flash, Jacob grabbed her hand and held it up in his vice like grip.

"Because I can," he replied through gritted teeth.

"But...but..." Leah looked up at him and Jacob prepared himself for another one of her tirades. "You asshole," she hissed, and wrapped her spare hand around his neck.

Jacob barely had time to react as she pulled him and crushed her lips to his. They were warm, so warm. He felt her tongue pressing his lips, demanding entry, and he could not help relenting. He released her other hand, and roughly grabbed her jaw with his own. He felt himself melting into the sensation of their two tongues together, but all too soon Leah broke away.

The two of them stood there, eyes locked, their breaths ragged.

"What..." he managed to get out.

"I'm sorry," Leah said. "I just...I just wanted to feel something different." With that, she grabbed his face and pulled him towards her once more. The kiss was rough, brutal. There was more of a battle in it than anything else.

But again, after a few seconds, Leah pulled away. This time she took a second to brush her hair down and then started to walk away.

Jacob turned back to the river, trying to collect his thoughts. What the...

"Jake." He turned and saw her standing at the edge of the trees. "Can I ask you a favour?" He nodded. "The wedding..."

"What about it?" he asked.

"Could you please keep an eye on me? I don't know how I am going to react, and you know what happens when my emotions get out of control..."

Jacob bit back his first remark, which had a lot to do with what had just happened. "Of course."

"Thank you," she said and then disappeared into the trees. Jacob reached for his shorts. A swim in the cold river was most definitely needed now.


	2. Present

Thank you to those who reviewed- your support is very much appreciated.

**A/N: **Some smut ahead.

* * *

Leah stared at the ceiling above her. She had long since memorised the various markings that spattered the white. Too many hours lost, staring, wondering if things were ever going to get easier.

She turned to her side and caught side of the alarm clock. She really needed to get up. Emily would be expecting her soon. Leah squeezed her eyes shut. What was she thinking when she agreed to be a bridesmaid. Had she really thought that she would have been able to get through this? Had there really been a time when she had thought herself that strong? She may have been, but not anymore. Now she needed to ask Jacob...

Leah groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes. It had been a couple of days since that meeting in the clearing and she had been avoiding him since. Her actions that day...for several moments she felt something other than the void that had been plaguing her since the day Sam told her he loved somebody else.

But were those moments worth what she had to face when she saw Jacob next? Leah knew that Jacob was the one person who could actually understand, who wouldn't judge. But that didn't mean he wouldn't greet her with a smug grin the next time they met. She could just picture his expression now...not that she could blame him. She would do the same thing, had she been on the receiving end.

XXXXXX

Jacob stepped out of his car and slammed the door shut. He appraised his surroundings. '_At least Sam and Emily went for a garden ceremony_,' he thought. '_Less damage when Leah phases..._'

He had timed his arrival well. The rest of the guests were already seated and Sam was standing at the end of the short aisle. Jacob nodded in his direction as he took a seat.

After a few moments, the strains of the Bridal March filled the air. Jacob turned in his seat, and saw Leah waiting to take her first steps. Once glance at her and his mind went back to that moment in the clearing. Even though he knew why she acted the way she did, he could not help grinning at her as she started to walk. As Leah walked passed him, he gave her an exaggerated wink. Her eyes narrowed and with a quiet chuckle, he settled himself back into his seat to watch the ceremony.

XXXXXX

Leah felt her throat dangerously tighten when she saw the look in Sam's eyes as she walked down the aisle. It was the way he used to look at her. But this look was not for her. It was aimed beyond her, at the bride waiting to make her way to her groom. A look between two people who were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

She stopped at the altar and took her place. A familiar feeling emerging in her stomach. Leah took a deep breath. She was going to get through this.

But then the celebrant started talking. Talking about the love of the two people in front of her. Talking about the future that they would have together. And throughout it all, Sam and Emily just stared into one another's eyes- never breaking. From her position, Leah could look squarely at Sam's face, at the expression of pure joy that etched his face.

And then that was when it hit her. She had been wrong before. He had never looked at her like that. In all their time together, with all the times that he claimed to have loved her, he never once looked upon her with the gaze he was basking on Emily now.

Leah's fists tightened around her bouquet as her stomach churned. She felt a familiar quivering from within her. Why had Emily asked her to be a part of this day? Why had they wanted to subject her to this?

Her skin began to prickle, and Leah knew what was about to happen. And so, as the celebrant turned to Sam, asking to him to begin his vows, Leah turned and walked away.

XXXXXX

"Shit," Jacob muttered softly, as Leah ran off through the trees. He rose immediately, making to follow her. Behind him, he heard mumblings of surprise from the rest of the guests, and then the celebrant clearing her throat and continuing with the ceremony.

He ran fast, unbuttoning his shirt to prepare for a phase, his instincts telling him exactly where Leah had headed.

When he arrived at the clearing he saw that she was there, her bouquet in tatters, petals surrounding her. Her hair, which had been immaculate for the ceremony, looked as if it had been clawed from its style and she was still trembling. Jacob was amazed. He had thought for sure she would have phased by now

"Oh, fantastic" Leah let out, sounding as if she were trying to hold back sobs. "What are you doing here?"

"I—"

"Come to see the show? Come to witness Leah losing it?" she demanded, whirling around. "Did you ever consider the fact that I don't want you to see me like this? That I don't want anybody to see me like this?"

"Did you forget the plea for help you made," Jacob snapped back. "If I remember, we were here and it was right after you—"

"I asked you to watch me during the ceremony. I was able to get myself out and I don't need your help anymore."

Jacob could feel bubbles of anger rising inside. "Well, unfortunately for you, your Alpha is slightly concerned. I can see you struggling, Leah, and that wedding party is not all that far away when you consider the speed of a wolf."

Leah's eyes narrowed. "Do you seriously think that I would hurt those people?"

"What I think is that you need somebody here with you. I know what it is like to lose control, Leah. It wasn't all that long ago that I was at Bella's wedding reception."

Leah stared at him. "I don't need understanding, Jake."

"Then what do you want, Leah?" he demanded. "Because, believe it or not, I am not a friggin mind reader."

"I want you to feel as angry as me. I want you to hate. What were you thinking during that ceremony? I could see everybody's adoring eyes and I just wanted to scream. I wanted everybody to know that Sam is not as perfect as he seems to be. I wanted to tell everybody that he gave her those scars, just so they could realise that I am not the only bad guy in this situation." She paused, taking in Jacob's expression. "And don't give me the whole spiel on imprinting. I have heard it too many times and I am sick of it. I don't care that Sam couldn't help it. He left me for another woman and I deserve more than that."

"Leah," Jacob started. "You need to start moving on."

Leah let out a sharp laugh. "And how do you propose I do that, oh mighty one of wisdom?"

"Leah—"

"No, please offer up your advice, thy Alpha. You have so much experience with moving on." Her tone was taunting.

"Shut up."

"Tell me," she asked, stepping up closer to him. "How often does Bella cloud your dreams? Are you still consumed by her scent? Does her touch give you that feeling—" she jabbed him in the stomach, "—right there. Did you still hold out that sliver of hope that one day she will come to her senses and love you?"

"I am not going to buy into your mind games, Leah," Jacob said through gritted teeth.

She was right in front of him now, and brought her face close to his. "They don't sleep, you know. How do you think they spend those long nights? With their darling daughter all tucked snug in her cot, it would be just the two of them. She's a good sleeper, you know. Seth told me. Makes it through the whole night without a peep. How many hours is that, you think?"

Jacob snapped, grabbing Leah's shoulders roughly. "Stop trying, Leah. You are not going to bring me down to your level."

"I don't have to," she yelled. "Don't you get it? You are at my level. You feel everything I do- the anger, the hate...you just keep it repressed like some sick dog."

"Give it up, Leah."

"She doesn't love you."

"Stop."

"She loves it. She always has."

"Don't."

"You're not enough for her. You never have been enough for her. When are you going to realise that and react to it? When are you going to start making some damn noise, Jacob?"

"Shut up Leah."

"Make me."

"Fine." With an almost growl Jacob abruptly jerked her upwards, forcing his lips onto hers. She was shocked, but offered no resistance as his tongue pushed its way through her lips. She reached up, grabbing his hair in tight fists, as their tongues curled, almost brutally, around each other.

For the first time in a long time, Leah's mind was completely clouded. She could think or feel of nothing, except Jacob's tight grip, and his hot breath mingling with her own. Instinctively, she brought her hands down to his shirt. The top half of his buttons were already undone, but she was too impatient to complete task. With a quick movement, she ripped the shirt off, pulling it back. It forced his hands to release their grip, and pinned them behind him.

Jacob tore his lips from hers. "What..." he trailed off, breathing heavily, as she placed her lips on his neck and sucking lightly, before making a trail with her tongue down his bare chest. He closed his eyes, allowing the sensation of her wet and heated tongue on his skin to overtake him. "You know...I think I can get used to you not talking, Leah."

He expected some sort of verbal response, not her sinking her teeth into his skin. With a yelp, he ripped his arms out of her grip. "Never took you for a bloodsucker, Leah," he murmured, bringing his lips down to her throat and sucking slightly. Leah stood there silently, allowing him to do this. "Never thought that you would be into that sort of activity," he added, wanting to push her further.

He succeeded. As his teeth grazed against his skin, Leah placed her hands on his chest and shoved his back hard. He fell to the ground, a grin on his face. "Now what was that for?"

Leah moved above him. "You ever call me a bloodsucker again and I will fucking kill you," she said, positioning herself so that she was straddled across him. "And besides, I don't remember there being any sucking involved," she added, bringing her mouth back down to his nipple and sinking her teeth in hard.

Jacob howled at the sensation of both pleasure and pain. He grabbed her face with his two hands and pulled her up to meet his own. "Let's keep that mouth up here...for now," he muttered, crushing his lips against her. At the feeling of his tongue, Leah moaned. She could feel him, hard as a rock underneath her and she could not help but thrust her hips against him, again and again.

His hands moved from her face, to her chest. She felt a heated hand cup her breast. "Jake," she breathed, as she trailed her lips up and down his jaw line. His thumb and forefinger pinched her nipple through her dress and Leah felt a deep jolt from within. She wrenched herself upwards, pulling off her dress. She wanted to feel it all, not through the material of that dreaded dress.

She looked down at Jacob and she reached around her back to unclasp her bra. He was breathing heavily and his pupils were dilated. Looking directly into his eyes, she pushed her core, hard, down onto his as she pulled off her bra.

With a groan of pleasure, Jacob sat up, keeping her in his lap. "A present that unwraps itself," he said, before bring his mouth her breast. Leah gasped as his tongue circled one of her nipples. She brought her hands up to the back of his head, grabbing his head and holding him in place. "Yes," she breathed as he began to suck, lightly at first, but soon harder. "Jake...yes...don't—" she broke off with a cry as hit bit down hard on her flesh. She pulled back, and looked down at his face. "What?"

"Payback," he said with a shrug and then pushed her so that she was lying flat on her back. For a fleeting second she thought of the times she had spent with Sam. They had been nothing like this. This was so...rough...and fast...and so much damn fun. Shaking those thoughts away, Leah reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him down on top of her. She couldn't help but moan as she felt him land between her legs.

He noticed, and pushed himself down harder on her. "You like that?" he asked, moving his hips slightly to cause a friction between the two of them. "You want some more?"

"Shut up, Jake," she demanded, pulling his face down to hers so that she could kiss him hungrily. She broke away for a second. "I think we agree that we work better when not talking." His hands found their way back to her breasts, but they did not stop there. His fingers trailed their way down her stomach, stopping at the waistband of her underwear. There they stopped, fingering and flicking the elastic. Leah brought her hips up to him, an impatient gesture telling him to keep going. But they didn't. Instead, his fingers started back up stomach, going back they way they came.

"Oh no, you fucking don't," Leah said through gritted teeth. She grabbed his hand, forcing it back on herself. "Finish what you started."

Jacob grinned. "I thought we worked better when not talking," he said, dipping his fingers under the elastic and removing them immediately.

Leah brought a hand up to his throat. "Keep teasing and talking won't even be an option."

"Ok," Jacob agreed with a laugh. "But first there is something I need to take care of." With that he yanked her underwear down, pulling them right off. For a moment, Leah felt too exposed. She was lying here naked and he was still almost fully clothed. But that feeling dissipated as soon as his lips pushed into hers and she felt his fingers graze her hip bone.

Jacob moved his hand down, pressing his fingers into her slick folds. She moaned and he continued exploring, circling his index finger around her entrance and bud. It was so hot and wet. "You feel fucking amazing," he murmured into her ear, before plunging a finger deep into her.

"Oh...god..." she groaned, as he pulled it out. He entered her again, this time with two fingers. In and out, in and out, his thumb rubbing her increasingly sensitive bud. "Jacob..." She bucked her hips, feeling the pleasure build and build inside of her. With a jolt, her eyes flew open. She wanted more. She wanted to feel all of him bring her over the edge.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asked, bewildered, as she pulled his hand out of her and reached for his belt. Within seconds she had it undone. She sat up, reaching for his fly. When both his pants and underwear were removed, Leah pushed him backwards, so that he was sitting, his back against and tree. She straddled him, moving herself down slightly, so that her entrance was just touching his tip.

"I want all of you Jacob, not just your fucking fingers," she said, lowering herself more. Jacob's eyes widened as he felt her engulfing him. Her heat, her wetness. He could not believe this was happening.

"This is fucking unbelievable," he said, grinning up at her and bucking his hips. With that Leah began to move, up and down, hard and fast. "God...Leah, yes...don't..."

She grabbed a fistful of his hair, pushing his face down to her chest. His lips encircled one of her breasts, sucking the nipple hard. She continued to move on top of him, and his own hands moved to her hips, gripping her tightly and bringing her down harder each time.

"Jake...Jacob...oh, Jake," Leah panted. Her mind was swimming. His lips sucking relentlessly, combined with his hard heat inside of her was bringing her to the brink quickly. "Jake, I'm gonna—"

"Shut up," he growled against her breast, and that was all it took. With a loud cry, she felt the sensation inside completely overtake her. She brought herself down onto Jacob one last time, and felt him explode inside of her, her own climax initiating his.

"Oh, fuck," Leah gasped, collapsing against his chest, which was sticky with sweat. Her skin felt the same way.

"Ditto," Jacob mumbled. The two stayed like that for several moments, taking in what had just happened. And it was then that reality started to set in.

Their moment together was over.

Now what?


	3. Forget

Thank you to everybody who reviewed. Your support is makes me so eager to update :)

* * *

Leah's mind was working furiously, as the realisation of what had just occurred washed over her. Jacob and her...what on Earth had she been thinking?

'_That there is your problem_,' she told herself. '_You weren't thinking_.' She groaned inwardly, wanting desperately to get up and run away. But that would mean having to collect the trail of clothes that she had left behind. The thought of that was humiliating. She wanted to be gone as fast as possible, to avoid all eye contact and conversation. And because of that, she really only had one option.

Jacob didn't even have a chance to speak as Leah jumped up and sprinted away. Before she had even reached the tree line, he felt that familiar pulse through the air and watched as she phased mid-step. He understood why she had done it, and to be completely honest, he was thankful. What the hell were they supposed to say to each other after that? The kiss was one thing, but...he had never felt so confused in his life. Leah was a member of the pack- he was his Alpha. What would be the repercussions of this? He had nothing to go by. There were no other female wolves on record and so neither would stories of two wolves together. Well, unless there was some lost Brokeback history...

Jacob brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes. He and Leah had well and truly gotten themselves into one hell of a mess and the next time they saw each other...

Catching sight of his dress pants, Jacob groaned. The wedding. He would have to get back. Standing up, he noticed the torn remnants of his shirt. A stop home was going to be needed. he contemplated collecting Leah's things, but thought better of it. '_Leave it all behind,' _he thought to himself. It would be easier that way.

XXXXX

The reception was in full swing when Jacob finally got back. Sam spotted him from across the way, and approached him immediately.

"What happened? Where is she?" Sam asked.

"She phased," Jacob replied truthfully. "I was going to follow, but figured she wanted to be alone."

"Damn her," Sam muttered.

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Leah storming out like that. This was mine and Em's day and she had to make it about her. I get that I hurt her, but causing a scene during _my _wedding was way out of line."

Jacob felt an unexpected surge of protection for Leah. "I hardly think that it was a premeditated action, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "Maybe."

"Well, _maybe_ you and Emily should have thought twice about asking her to be in the wedding party," Jacob snapped. "Did it ever occur to you how hard it would be for her? What were you two thinking?"

"She didn't have to say yes, Jake," Sam replied through gritted teeth. "That was her choice."

"She couldn't have said no, Sam. You know that more than anybody. Saying no, in her eyes, would have made her look weak."

Sam stared at him for several seconds. "Jake."

"Yeah?"

"Why are we arguing about this?"

Jacob paused. "I have no idea." And that that the truth. He truly had no idea why.

XXXXX

Leah walked into her bedroom, pulling the fluffy towel tight around her body. She did not know how long she had been running through the forest. All she knew was that she had not been able to run fast enough to leave everything behind. She was just grateful that Jacob had not phased after her. She couldn't stomach the idea of them sharing thoughts after...

After throwing on her worn, comfortable pyjamas, Leah climbed into bed. The sun was only just setting, but she was more than ready to have this day over. However, as she curled up into the foetal position, sleep did not come. Only tears. Furiously, Leah rubbed her eyes. She hated feeling like this. She hated that _allowed _herself to feel this way.

A loud bang, caused by her bedroom door flying open, made her jolt. "Leah Juliet Clearwater," her mother said, her tone clipped and stern. "What on Earth were you thinking today?"

Leah rolled over, meeting her mother's eyes. At the sight of her daughter's tear stained face, Sue's stance softened and she was by her side in a second. Having her mother cuddle her like a child only made Leah cry even harder. "I thought that I was strong enough, mum. I really thought that I could do it, but it was too much," she choked out.

"Shush," Sue soothed her, running her hand over Leah's still damp hair. "You are one of the strongest people I know. I don't want to hear you saying anything else."

"I'm not. It's all just a facade," Leah murmured, as her eyes fell on the photograph she kept framed on her bedside table. The last photo that had ever been taken of her and her father. "I'm not like you...or Dad."

Sue sighed. "You are more like your father than you'll ever know. He was the same- always second guessing himself."

"Yes, but Dad was never an emotionally out of control aggressive bitch."

"Well," Sue paused. "True, I wouldn't go that far. But he could be a moody one when he wanted to. And was lucky that he was never pushed to the point of, hmm," she cleared her throat, "an aggressive bitch, as you so delicately put it."

Leah allowed herself a small laugh. "I miss him so much, mum. It still hurts."

"I know sweetie," Sue pressed her lips on top of Leah's head. "I know."

XXXXX

The waves looked furious as they crashed wildly, foaming up the shoreline. Jacob stood, curling his toes in the sand as he stared at the black waves. His stomach was churning in a manner not unlike them. The message from Leah had been brief, asking him to meet her at the beach. He was relieved it was here. The beach was slightly more open than the clearing. The chances of a...relapse were slim.

"Jacob."

He turned to see Leah standing only a few feet behind him. "Hey."

"So," she took a few steps forward. "You got my message."

"I'm here, aren't I?" he replied, shrugging.

Leah was silent for a few moments before she suddenly kicked at the sand. "Fuck."

Jacob blinked. "What?"

"I said fuck...as in 'Fuck, I knew this was going to happen'," she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Knew what would happen?" Jacob asked, trying to hide a smile at her very Leah-like outburst.

"This...awkwardness," she said, throwing up her hands. "We are so screwed. Can you even imagine what it is going to be like next time we phase? Oh god...when _Seth_ phases?"

Jacob shifted his feet, relieved that Leah was on the same page as he. "So, what are we going to do?"

Leah looked up into his eyes. "I think the only thing we can do is forget it ever happened," she said. "And I think we need to stay away from that clearing because...because..."

"Because what?" Jacob prompted.

"Because as much as I hate to admit it, you kind of keep me sane. The idea that somebody else is as fucked up as me—"

"Whoa," Jacob put a hand up. "How about we stop this conversation now. I suggest we keep conversations away from topics which lead to emotional outbursts, if we are going to forget and move on," he added, with a grin.

Leah laughed. "Good idea..." she trailed off, as her smile faded. "Things are still going to be really weird, aren't they? We can say that we want to forget, but easier said than done, hey?"

Jacob nodded. "But it's not going to happen again...other things will eventually fill our minds."

Leah's stomach clenched. He was right. It would fade and then once again she would be consumed completely with what had led her to that moment of desperation in the first place. What happened with Jacob was an ideal distraction at the moment and part of her was clutching frantically to that.

The idea of being overcome by that void once more scared her to death and she would do anything to ensure that she wouldn't.


	4. Help

Hi all. Thank you to all who reviewed. It gives such a 'weeee!' moment when I open my email and see that people actually give a damn about what I am doing.

Apologies for the slight delay with this chapter. I usually update a little more frequently, but I had some major writer's block with this chapter for some reason. It might have to do with the fact that when I first published this fic I was on holdiays from work, and now I am back. Too many things distracting me from my writing!

Anyway, hope you all like :)

* * *

Jacob wrinkled his nose as he approached the expansive house. He hadn't been near it in several days and the scent was particularly pungent. If it weren't for Seth he would not have ever returned to this house after the birth of the spawn.

"Jake!" Seth called out as he ran down from the front door. Jacob grinned. It was impossible to stay unhappy around Seth. He had always exuded happiness and it was most definitely contagious. Though, the contentment that had recently been added to the mix usually resulted in a slightly nauseated feeling in Jacob's stomach.

"How's it going?" Jacob asked.

"Everything is...amazing," Seth replied.

"Well, glad to hear that at least somebody is having a good time of it," Jacob replied. "Now, what did you want to see me about?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

Jacob froze. '_Oh god_,' he thought. '_He knows about me and Leah. But how? Did she tell him what happened? No...has he been phased with one of recently? What if he had on the day of the wedding, when Leah..._' An fleeting image of Leah straddled across his lap crossed his mind. '_Stop it, Jake. The leech is inside._'

"Jake," Seth waved a hand in front of his face. "You there?"

Jacob blinked. "Yup. Here. Totally here. What did you want to talk about?"

Seth eyed him curiously. "It's nothing major. I just really wanted to take Nessie down to La Push beach. She would love it."

"What's the problem? Nessie is important to you- nobody is going to deny her access to the rez."

"The problem is that Bella is a protective new mother. I can't take Nessie without Bella."

"And so you want me to speak to Sam about allowing a bloodsucker on Quileute land?" Jacob deduced.

"Don't call her that, Jake."

"Sorry, Seth." Jacob cleared his throat. "So, will it just be Bella, or will the entire family be coming?"

"Just Bella," Seth replied. "I didn't want to push it any further...so, will you speak to Sam for me?"

Jacob nodded, catching sight of Edward stepping out of the front door. "Seth," he called out. "Carlisle needs to speak with you."

"Ok," Seth replied and then turned to Jacob. "Let me know when you can," he added, before jogging into the house.

As soon as Seth had disappeared, Edward turned to Jacob, a sly grin on his face. "How are you, Jacob?"

"Fine."

"Been keeping busy by the looks of it," Edward added. "Out enjoying the nature?"

Jacob's eyes narrowed. So the bloodsucker had been listening in before. "That is none of your damn business, leech," he said.

Edward let out a laugh. "And I thought that you had mastered keeping your thoughts to yourself around me."

"A momentary lapse in concentration."

"Lapse in concentration..." Edward's smile grew wider. "Starting to become a regular occurrence, hey?"

"Listen Cullen," Jacob snapped, his hands clenched into fists. "Mind your own fucking business. I swear, if you breathe a word to anybody I will rip—"

"Hey, just calm yourself down there," Edward said, holding his hands up in mock defence. "I wasn't planning on telling anybody, I just wanted to watch you squirm. Of all the things to let me know..."

"Good bye, Edward," Jacob said, turning around and walking away. '_You smug motherfucker,_' he added to his thoughts. He would be damned if he didn't have the last say.

XXXXX

Leah let out a loud sigh, as she kicked at the sand under her feet. She looked up at Quil, who was walking beside her. "This is a shitty idea."

"Jeez, Leah. For once do you think you could maybe behave like a happy, normal person?" he retorted.

"Normal?" Leah scoffed. "You do realize that you, I and the most of our acquaintances have the ability to turn into a wolf? There is nothing normal about us."

"Whatever...all I know is that your misery should stay your misery- stop loading it off on the rest of us."

Leah stopped short. "Well, if that is how you feel, then why the hell are you dragging me out here?" she demanded, gesturing towards ocean which was calm for once.

"Because your mother asked me to," Quil said, grabbing her arm, forcing her to begin walking again. "She's worried about you."

"So? What does that have to do with you?"

"Come on, Leah. You know more than anyone that you can't say no to Sue Clearwater," Quil said with a raised eyebrow and she could not help but offer a grudging smile in return. Not even she could not argue with that remark. "And besides, how long has it been since you've seen Seth? And what about Nessie?"

"Are you serious?" Leah was incredulous. "You cannot honestly give a damn about the spawn."

"What I feel is irrelevant. She is going to be a big part of your brother's life which, by default, means your life as well," Quil pointed out.

"That freak of nature will have no part in my life..." Leah trailed off as she came to a stop. She had spotted Seth, close to the water's edge. He was holding a small figure in one of his arms, and pointing at something on the horizon with the other. Leah blinked, a lump forming in her throat. There was a photograph at home, of her and her father, doing almost the exact same thing. And the expression on Seth's face was the same as Harry's- a picture of pure contentment and adoration.

She took a few steps forward, making a deal with herself. As much as she wanted to, she could not ruin things. Seth was happy and she wasn't going to rain on his parade. She could get through one afternoon with a smile. She could be around the spawn, for Seth's sake...just as long as she didn't have to touch it.

Quil stepped up beside her, having noticed the change in her expression. "Ah, I knew there was a good sister somewhere under all of that misery guts," he teased.

"You know, Quil, one day I am—" Leah halted to a stop as she spotted another figure sitting on the beach. "What the fuck is that bloodsucker doing here?"

Quil blinked, surprised by the venom that laced her words. "Bella is Nessie mother."

"And what about that damn treaty that is supposed to keep those disgusting parasites off our land?" Leah shot back. "I could take her right now and I wouldn't be doing anything wrong."

"Except for ripping a mother apart in front of her daughter," Quil replied, rolling his eyes. "And you would be doing something wrong. Sam allowed her to cross the line for today only and there is nothing you can do about it. So, I suggest you put on that nice game face you were wearing just before and go be happy for your brother."

"This is ridiculous," Leah muttered, walking forward. What an afternoon it would be. She kept her eyes trained on Seth. He brought out the best in her, while Bella...did not. As she and Quil drew closer, she noticed something odd about the thing Seth was cradling in his arms.

"Quil."

He looked down at her. "Yeah?"

"What is with the spawn? She looks as if she were born months ago, not weeks."

"Nobody knows," came the reply, as a figure breezed past her. It was Jacob, a paper shopping bag in his arms. "They're looking into it, but it's kind of a touchy subject."

Leah blinked as he made his way over and sat beside Bella. He could not help himself. A complete glutton for punishment...the potential for entertainment had just risen slightly.

XXXXX

Jacob threw down the bag of food and drinks for himself and Seth...and now obviously Leah and Quil, and sat down beside Bella.

"That was quick," Bella said, giving him that smile of hers. That smile that confused the hell out of him.

"Hmm, there was enough at home. I didn't have to go to the store," he replied. Bella looked beyond him at that point, her smile wavering slightly. "What?" he asked.

"Leah is here."

"Well, she does live here, Bella. And, Seth is her brother," he said, his tone more blunt than intended.

"I know..." Bella trailed off, fingering her hair. "It's just that she is so...I don't know. She was so horrible to me the last time we spoke."

"And a whole heap has changed since then. So, considering what has gone down between Seth and the kid, I suggest that you get used to her Bella. Seth is her family and this is her home."

Bella's eyes widened slightly. Jacob knew that she was probably shocked; he had never spoken to her that harshly before. And to be honest, he wasn't completely sure why he had either. It wasn't like him. He never...

'_When are you going to start making some damn noise, Jacob?_' His thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the sound of Leah's voice in his head. Oh jeez...Jacob tucked his knees up, lowering his head to the top of his knees. He had to stop doing this. He had to stop letting those memories replay themselves over and over again. He had to forget about everything. He had—

"Man up, Jake," Leah said, settling herself down beside him.

With an inward groan, Jacob straightened up. This was...not ideal. Sitting between Bella and Leah with no buffer whatsoever, it felt somewhat sick and wrong.

Bella was peering at him with concerned eyes. "Are you ok, Jake? You look a little off."

Before Jacob could reply, Leah interrupted. "He is fine."

Bella's eyes narrowed. "I think that Jake can speak for himself." She glanced back at him. "What's up? You are looking a little pale."

Leah snorted. "Now that's just perfect, isn't it? After all, you like them pale, don't you?"

"Excuse me? What—"

"Hey Bella." She was cut off by Quil dropping down beside her. "Long time. How are things?"

With one last glare in Leah's direction, Bella turned to Quil. Once the two seemed engrossed enough in their conversation, Jacob turned to Leah. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Leah asked him, her face a picture of innocence.

"What you're doing."

"I'm the bitch, Jake," she replied. "I am just doing what everybody expects."

"Yeah, well that bullshit facade don't work with me anymore, so cut your crap. We're here for Seth, remember."

Leah paused. "Well, I actually I was forced here- I am only staying because of Seth. But you? Why are you here?"

"Sam asked me to be here."

"Ahh. Babysitting the bloodsucker."

"Her name is Bella," Jacob replied through gritted teeth.

"She doesn't deserve, and she most certainly hasn't earned your defense, Jake."

"Let me be the judge of that," Jacob shot back. He fell silent, staring out at the water. However, after a few moments he let out a snort of laughter.

"What?" Leah questioned him.

"Us," he said. "We can't help ourselves, can we?"

Leah raised an eyebrow, nodding her head slowly. For once she wasn't going to argue with him.

Quil's deep laugh broke into their reverie. "Well, the whole you being a vampire is completely creepy- I am not going to lie to you about that. But it's good to see that the same old Bella is still in there."

"I am most definitely still here," Bella replied. "Though I just believe how everything has turned out. Never would I have imagined that I could have all this."

"Bella Swan- the picture of perfect happiness and contentment."

"Well, almost," Bella said, nudging Jacob with her elbow. "I really miss having my Jacob around," she added with an almost pout.

Jacob tried not to flinch at the sound of that possessive 'my'. He wasn't hers, he never would be hers. Why did she insist of making everything so difficult? "Got things to do, Bella," he mumbled in response. He could feel Leah's eyes boring into him, but could not look at her.

"I'm sure that you do, Jake," Bella said, ruffling a hand through his hair. "But you need to start enjoying yourself."

"Yeah," Quil agreed. "Go out, have fun, meet somebody."

"Oh, so this is where this conversation is going," Jacob said. "Find someone to love and everything will be all chocolate and rainbows."

Both Bella and Quil laughed, looking at each other. "Well," he said. "You don't see either of us complaining."

"Not yet, anyway," Leah put in, a sharp edge to her tone. "But what about when it all goes to hell? What happens to the chocolate and rainbows then?"

"But that won't happen," Bella said, not acknowledging Leah and instead directing her reply at Jacob. "Because my Jacob is an amazing guy. Whoever ends up with him is going to realize how lucky they are and will never leave."

Jacob had had enough. He knew that Bella was not doing it deliberately, but every word felt like another load of salt being rubbed into his wounds. Everything she said screamed that he was a great guy, but just not great enough for her. "Excuse me," he said standing up, unable to keep the slight tremble out of his voice. "But I feel like a swim."

Bella stared at him as he ran to the water's edge. "What was that about?"

"Are you serious?" Leah let out. "Tell me, Bella, when you 'died' how may of your brain cells went with you?"

"Leah, this has got nothing to do with you," Bella retorted. "What goes on between me and Jake is—"

"Is killing him," Leah snapped, standing up. "_'Oh Jake, you're so wonderful...but you're just not quite good enough for me'_...do you even hear yourself when you speak?"

"That is not what..." Bella rose from the sand. "I am going to go speak to him."

"He doesn't want to speak to you. I'll go." Leah made to move, but was stopped by Bella's ice cold hand wrapping itself around her wrist. "Let go of me, leech, or I'll scream vampire attack and you can kiss the little treaty good bye."

Bella's hand dropped, her eyes narrowing. "I used to feel sorry for you, Leah. But now I am starting to think that you deserve everything that comes your way."

"Well, thank goodness for that," Leah yelled, as she started walking towards the water. "Because the last thing I want is pity from a monster."

She could see that Jacob had stopped, facing away from the beach, the water lapping up around the middle of his back. It didn't take long for Leah to reach him- it wasn't only land that she was fast on.

She stopped beside him, bring her feet down to the shifting sand below and she heard him groan. "Leah, what do you want?"

"You always seem to find me at my worst, so I thought it was only fair."

"I don't want to hear it, Leah."

"Look, I am here because Dracu-Bella was about to head out, and the last thing I wanted to see was her turning on the pouty face and you giving into her once again."

Jacob whirled around to face her, his expression ablaze. "I fucking hate this...ugh," he brought a tight fist up to his mouth. "Why am I saying this to you? Why am I saying anything to you?"

"Because you can't say it to her...the same way I can't say it to Sam," Leah replied.

"Why can't I? Why can't I just tell her fuck off and leave me alone? Why do I insist on torturing myself? I think that I can handle it, but I can't. And you're right, it builds inside of me and I have no idea of how to let all that shit go. It is going to kill me. She is going to kill me and there is nothing I can do about it. I am too weak to do anything about this myself."

Leah's eyes never left his face as he let it all out. He couldn't help hurting himself about Bella. She couldn't help her continuing misery about Sam. Maybe...

"Jake," she said softly.

"What."

"There is something you...we can do," she said, reaching across under the water and grabbing him through his shorts.

His breath hitched, his body reacting almost immediately to her hand. "What the fuck are you doing?" he glanced nervously at the beach.

"They have no idea," Leah said, wrapping her hand tightly around his shaft. "The water is deep enough. Just forget about them...forget about everything, except this." She slowly began to move her hand up and down his length.

"But..." he exhaled sharply, his eyes half closed. "We agreed that we shouldn't—"

"I know," Leah said, tightening her grip and increasing her pace. "But I was thinking...you said before that we can't help ourselves. Remember?"

"Uh...yes..." Jacob let out, punctuating himself with a groan.

"Well, maybe we can help each other," she said, rubbing her thumb over the tip of his shaft.

"Oh fuck..." Jacob sighed, opening his eyes slightly. "What...what do you mean?"

"We are both fucked up, and you said that you didn't know how to let go of it. I'm the same...but that other day...when we...fucking you emptied my mind of everything else. I didn't have to think of the screwed up world that was my life." She continued moving her hand, pumping faster and faster.

"God, Leah," Jacob breathed. "Don't stop."

"We can help each other, Jacob. No strings, no commitments. Just a way for us to release and forget." She kept moving her hand, watching his face contort as she brought him closer and closer to the brink.

"Leah...oh," Jacob's breathing was growing erratic. "Keep going...I'm gonna...don't stop..ugh!" With a loud moan he exploded into her hand and let himself fall into the water. After a few moments he resurfaced. Wiping the water from his face, he found himself looking into Leah's eyes.

"Just think about it, Jake," she said, before diving into the water and heading back into shore.


	5. Thinking

**A/N: **Wow, time certainly can get away from you. I had planned to update this story much earlier, but as usualy work got in the way. Hopefully, I will be able to get the next chapter up really soon to make up for the excessive delay.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed- your support is greatly appreciated.

I struggled writing this chapter for some reason, so I turned to my handy ole' iTunes. The songs that helped me get through this chapter are: _I've Been Thinkin'- _The Handsome Boy Modelling School feat Cat Power, _Nothing's Wrong_- Architecture in Helsinki and _Do What You Want_- Ok Go.

Anyway, here it is, and I hope that it is worth wait :)

* * *

Leah stepped into her bedroom, running a hand through her wet hair. Removing her towel, she quickly threw on an old t-shirt and boxer shorts. She was more than ready for bed, exhausted as she had not slept a wink the night before.

'_I guess that is what you get for propositioning your..._' Leah's thoughts trailed off. What could she call Jacob? They weren't exactly friends. Acquaintance sounded much too proper, considering what they had been up to. _Alpha_?...she snorted at the thought. Maybe she should start to refer to him as that, just to see the reaction.

Pulling down the covers of her bed, Leah was startled by a loud noise coming from the open bedroom window. Before she had a chance to react, a large figure came tumbling through. For a brief second, Leah considered her belongings and what she could use for a weapon. The options were looking slim...but then she realised who it was.

"Jacob," she hissed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Uh," he straightened up, running a hand through his hair. "I needed to speak to you."

"And it couldn't wait until tomorrow? You couldn't have called?" She crossed her arms. "Did you really think that climbing through my bedroom window at night was the best course of action?"

"Well," he paused, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. "I haven't really been thinking about the courses of action I have been taking lately...except for one."

Leah took a step towards him. "Which one?" she asked, knowing perfectly well the answer.

"About what you said yesterday, at the beach," Jacob replied. "I've been thinking..."

XXXXX

_Jacob stormed into the house, and straight into the bathroom. Throwing off his swimsuit, he stepped under the steaming hot stream of the shower. What the fuck had just happened? Had he heard Leah right, what she had propositioned? Had she really just got him off with Quil, Seth and Bella in their direct line of sight? It felt so wrong, so sordid and..._

'So fucking amazing_.' His thoughts went straight back to the water, to the sensation of her gripping his cock....He let out a loud groan, his thoughts causing him to harden almost instantly. He had to stop thinking about this. There was no way that he and Leah could act on her idea...could they?_

_After spending much too long under the hot water, Jacob was no closer to resolving his confused thoughts. Throwing on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, he made his way into the kitchen. To his dismay, his father was in there, his chair pulled up to the table, chopping vegetables._

"_Don't go eating too much," Billy warned. "I am about to get dinner going."_

_Jacob gave a shrug and opened the fridge. Billy knew perfectly well just how much he was able to eat. Besides, chances were Paul would be there with Rachel. Nothing ever went to waste with him at the table. _

_As he perused the contents of the refrigerator, Jacob could feel his father's eyes on him. With a sigh, he grabbed an apple and then turned to face the older man. "What?"_

_Billy's head cocked slightly. "Things on your mind son?"_

"_Nothing more than usual," Jacon replied, taking a large bite from the apple._

_The lines around Billy's eyes deepened. "Jacob, you may think that you can fool me, but I am your father—"_

"_Dad," Jacob interjected. "Nothing is wrong."_

"_Something is wrong and you are going to tell me what," Billy replied, his voice rising slightly._

_Jacob paused, racking his brains. He had to give Billy some sort of an answer, or else he wouldn't let the topic drop. The last thing Jacob wanted at this point in time was to be on the receiving end of one of Billy's 'missions'._

"_Ok, fine," he relented. "I got into an argument with Bella yesterday. I just want to stew over it a little but more before I go over and apologise."_

_A faint smile crossed Billy's face. "Ok then. That may have happened, but wrong answer."_

"_What do mean?"_

"_You have been distracted for a long time, Jacob. Since Sam and Emily's wedding. I have kept quiet long enough, figuring you would get over it. But you haven't. You cannot afford to be distracted Jacob, not with the job you have been chosen to do. So, you are going to sit down at this table and you are going to tell me what is going on or..."_

"_Or what, Dad? You'll get Paul to force it out of me."_

"_No, I will get Edward Cullen down here and there will be no forcing needed."_

_Jacob's eyes narrowed. "Using a leech against your own son, hey?"_

_Billy shrugged; his action almost identical to the one Jacob gave him earlier. "It just shows what I am willing to do in order to help my son."_

"_Look," Jacob sighed, slumping down in one of the chairs. "I am not distracted from my patrols. Do you believe me when I say that?"_

_Billy nodded. "Yes, I do. Now, would you care to explain what is causing issue in the other areas of your life?"_

_Jacob exhaled loudly. "Dad, I can't..." he paused, but then quickly spoke again when he realised Billy was about to put another two cents in. "Please Dad, trust me. If I could tell you, I would. But I can't...and don't go get all worried and freaked out. I am not involved in anything dangerous or illegal. This is just something that needs to play out a little more before I can speak to you about it. However..."_

"_What?"_

"_I, uh...I could use some advice." Billy nodded and so Jacob continued. "Let's say....what if you were given an opportunity..."_

"_Could you possibly give me a little more detail, Jake?" Billy asked, a small smirk forming on his face._

"_Uh, kind of...this opportunity, in the short term, seems like a pretty sweet deal and...and it might actually, in some way, help you...and others." Jacob paused, silently cursing himself for even starting this line of conversation with his father. "But you have no way of knowing what will happen in the long run. You know that there is a very good chance that it could blow up in your face...but there may also be a chance that it won't."_

_Billy stared at him for several moments, his expression completely bewildered. "Ok...I am assuming you want advice on whether to take this opportunity...whatever it may be." Jacob nodded. "Are you sure that there are no more specifics you can give me about this 'opportunity'?"_

"_Nope," Jacob replied. "Sorry Dad."_

"_Look Jacob, I have absolutely no idea what you were just talking about," Billy started. "But what I do know is that too often people live in the future. Too many decisions are made considering the 'maybe' and the 'what if'. Yes, sometimes that needs to happen, but sometimes you just have to live in the now. There is nothing more disappointing that looking back and having regrets caused by hesitation. From what you were saying, Jake, I think that maybe you need to consider living for now."_

_Jacob nodded slowly, turning his head away from his father. Live for now. In the back of his mind he heard a chuckle. He could only imagine the look on Billy's face if he ever discovered what he had just advised his son to do._

XXXXX

Leah arched an eyebrow. "Thinking? And what conclusion did you come to?"

"That it was probably the most stupid fucking idea I have ever heard," Jacob replied bluntly. "That there were so many issues with us getting involved in that way. That our lives were complicated enough. That we don't even _like _each other all that much."

"So it's a no, then?" Leah said and shrugged. "Ok then, like I said, it was only a suggestion—"

"I'm not saying no, Leah," Jacob interrupted.

"Then what the fuck are you saying, Jake?" Leah demanded, throwing her hands up. In a moment he had crossed the room, grabbed her by the waist and pushed back down onto her bed.

"I am saying that I am sick of thinking things over," he said, positioning himself over her body. "I am sick of thinking period. With you, I don't need to think. You were right when you said that we could help each other. I am saying yes to your...suggestion, or whatever the fuck we want to call it."

Leah grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him closer, but stopping just before their lips met. "If we are going to do this, we need to set some boundaries."

"Name them."

"We treat each other as we always have- especially around others. This...arrangement cannot become public knowledge."

Jacob nodded. "Fine."

"No attachments or this will get weird. No staying the night- this is not a relationship and if we start treating it that way, things will only get weird."

"Uh huh," Jacob murmured, attempting to nuzzle her neck. "Can you shut up now?"

"Fine," Leah said with a grin, pushing her lips into his. With a low moan, Jacob ran his tongue along her bottom lip before plunging it into her mouth. Leah happily reciprocated, curling her own tongue around his and wrapping her arms around his body, pulling him closer to her. As the kiss grew more urgent, Jacob reached down to the waistband of Leah's shorts, tugging at the elastic. She lifted her hips off the bed to allow him to pull them off with more ease.

"Now this isn't fair," she said with a small laugh, reaching for the fly on his shorts. "We gotta even things up."

"As you wish," he murmured, moving his hands and pushing her t-shirt up, so that her breasts were exposed. As Leah fumbled with his button, he brought his mouth down and began to suck on one of her nipples.

Leah finally got his shorts undone, and used her feet to hurriedly slide them down his legs. "Enough of that," she said, ripping his mouth from her chest and pulling him up so that they were eye to eye. "I want fucking more." With that, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him close to her. She could feel him, hard and ready, and let out an impatient groan. Jacob did not hesitate, entering her immediately.

"Ohh," he moaned, burying his face into her neck as he moved in and out. "You feel so fucking good."

Leah slid her hands down his body, using them to accentuate his movements. "Harder Jake," she breathed. "Harder."

He complied, increasing his thrusts and plunging deeper into her. She could feel his hot breath on her neck, coinciding with her own. "Leah...god, I'm not...I can't..."

"Don't stop," she whispered, lifting her hips to meet his thrusts. He let out a loud groan in response, his movement increasing in speed. He managed several more, before letting out a loud guttural moan. With one final thrust, she felt him release inside of her, and he fell down on her, his body slack.

They lay there like that, trying to catch their breaths. After several minutes had passed, Jacob rolled off Leah, laying flat on his back next to her. "So..."

She looked over at him. "What?"

"We are really going to do this?"

She reached over, slapping him lightly on the upper arm. "I thought that you said you were sick of over thinking everything."

"I'm not over thinking...I'm just commenting," he said, a slow grin forming on his face.

"Right," Leah snorted. "Look, can I give you a piece of advice?"

"I am probably going to regret this answer, but yes."

"You need to start taking some fucking action in your life- and stay strong in your decisions. Whatever this is between us, it is an action that we have decided to take. Just go with it- and start doing it in other areas of your life."

Jacob looked directly in her eyes. "And are you going to start following your own advice?"

She nodded slowly. "I am going to try."

'Right." Jacob stood from the bed, pulling his shorts up. "Well, I guess that I should be going- we don't want to go breaking the rules too early, hey?"

Leah watched as she fastened the fly on his shorts, and then reached out, grabbing his hand. "Wait."

He turned to her, his expression surprised. "What?"

With a sly grin, she pulled his hand down and in between her legs. "If you think that you are leaving without finishing what you started, then you have another thing coming, Jacob Black."

Jacob laughed, moving closer to her. He was more than happy to oblige.


	6. Please

**A/N: **Well, I got myself a bit more organised with this chapter :) When I started writing, the whole thing just flowed really easily.

Once again, I want to thank everyone who has read this story. And an especially enourmous thank you to those who reviewed. These messages at the start of a chapter seem completely inadequate, they do not really represent the hugs and cookies and lollies and **loud **thank yous that I actually want to send.

A couple of reviewers mentioned the evolvement of Jacob and Leah's relationship, and I just have to say, I cannot wait to share the evolvement with you! I have know how this story would play out before I even started writing it, and I can only hope that I can actually pull off my ideas, and that you all enjoy them as much as I hope you do.

Anyway, enough prattling from me, and here is the next chapter.

**Music: **_Not Now But Soon_- Imogen Heap, _Words_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _Relapse_- Little Birdy.

* * *

Jacob drew in a deep breath as he approached the large house. What he was about to do was going to be difficult, incredibly so. But he had to do it. He needed to do this if he was going to be able to move forward with his life.

He stopped, a few feet from the front door, knowing that Bella would appear before long. With Edward, there was no keeping anybody's arrival a secret. He wondered if Edward would inform Bella of the nature of his visit. A small part of Jacob hoped that he would...because he had no idea how he was going to do this.

It was only a few moments later that Bella stepped out of the front door, a large smile on her face. Jacob groaned inwardly- she just had to be smiling didn't she? Edward obviously hadn't given her all the information.

"Jake!" Bella ran down towards him. "I am so glad that you are here. I have wanted to see you since the beach. I am so—"

Jacob held up his hand, silencing her. "You do not need to apologise, Bells."

Her smile widened. "You are way too good to me, Jacob Black."

"Yup, that's me, the perennial good guy."

"And you say that like it's a bad thing," she commented. "So, Edward said that you wanted to speak to me about something. I'm assuming that it's important..."

Jacob nodded. "Not talk, as in discuss. I need to tell you something." He paused. "You know that you're my best friend, right? And that I would never want to upset you?"

Bella's eyes widened slightly. "Why do I get the feeling that you are about to tell me that you're dying or something?"

"Not dying...but just tell me, the friend's thing. You understand?" She nodded and so he continued. "And I know that you care about me and don't want to hurt me."

"Of course I don't."

"But, you see, that's the thing Bella. Being around you does hurt me. Like the other day at the beach. Now, I know that there is absolutely no intention on your behalf...but you hurt me, Bella. And more than that, I allow myself to be hurt." He paused, raking a hand through his hair. "And I need to take some sort of action to stop that from happening anymore."

Bella's mouth had set itself in a firm line. "What are you telling me, Jacob?"

"I am saying that I can be around you anymore. I can't see you anymore. The last thing I want to do it upset you...but...."

"Jake," Bella took a step towards him. "Don't say this. I need you in my life."

"Bella, stop," he interjected. "You don't need me. You _want _to have me in your life, but you don't need me. A want is a selfish thing, but a need is...desperation. And I need to have you out of my life at the moment. I am not saying that this will be forever, but if I don't start looking out for me, I am scared that I am going hate the person I will become. This hurts so fucking much to say, but you have to stay out of my life."

Bella was staring at him, her expression unreadable. "Ok," she said quietly.

Jacob blinked. "What?" That wasn't exactly the reaction he had been expecting.

"I'll do whatever you want, Jacob," she said. "You have done so much for me...and you're right. We need to start putting you first. However you want this to play out, I will go along with it."

A small smile broke out on Jacob's face. "You are a good friend, Bella."

She reached out a hand, placing it on his arm. "I am only doing what you would do for me. Besides," she winked at him, "I am going to be around for a lot longer than any other person. I have eternity, Jacob, and I will wait that long if you need it."

XXXXX

"Hey mum," Leah said, walking into the family kitchen. She stopped, taking note of the salad Sue was covering with cling wrap. "Where are you going?"

"There is a barbeque at the Uley's this afternoon. I volunteered for salad duty," Sue replied.

"Oh. Well have fun."

Sue looked up at her. "You are going too, Leah."

Leah let out a short laugh. "I don't think so, mum. I am not ready to watch the newlywed show just yet. I don't need my gag reflex to be kicked into high gear."

"Now, Leah, don't be like that," Sue replied lightly. "You are not that person."

Leah sat down on one of the stools at the bench. "And what type of person might that be?"

"Bitter," her mother replied bluntly. "I know you and you are so much better than that."

Leah felt her muscles tense, surprised at the surge of anger that coursed through her body at that moment. She had no idea why Sue's words has affected in that way, but she was furious. "Well, isn't that nice."

Sue blinked at the acidity in her daughter's tone. "Leah?"

"It is so nice to have people telling me who I am. I am just so thankful for that," Leah spat out. "But what I would like to know, is how these people can know me so well, when I don't even have a clue about who I am! You tell me that I am strong, but I don't know if I am. How can I know if I am? What does it mean to be strong anyway? And why is it always strong? Surely a person is more than one quality? But I don't...I don't know how to identify myself. I used to be Sam's girlfriend, now I am the scorned woman." She paused, drawing in a deep breath. "But what does that mean? I don't know who I am supposed to be."

"Oh sweetie," Sue took a step towards her. "Of course you do. You are just going through a tough—"

"Stop mum!" Leah yelled. "I don't need a pep talk. I don't need sympathy. And most of all, I don't need pity! What I need is for people to leave me alone. To stop scrutinising me. To stop watching and waiting for me to lose control."

"People do not want that to happen," Sue said. "I have no idea what you believe that, but your family and friends want to see you happy."

Leah scoffed. "Oh please. People love that sort of stuff. Me walking out of the wedding would have had them all salivating."

Sue was shaking her head. "Leah, I have no idea where this is coming from."

"And you know what, mum? If I wanted to be a bitter person then nobody should hold that against me. Sam fucked me over—"

"Language, Leah."

"And if I am bitter now, I know that I am not going to be that way forever. Do you know why?"

Sue shook her head slowly, concern written all over her face. She had started to believe that Leah had been making process, after leaving to join Jacob's pack. However, it was becoming clear that that was obviously not the case.

"Because when it all comes down to it, Emily is more than welcome to Sam. She married him, knowing who he is and what he does, and now she is going to be stuck on this reservation for the rest of her fucking life, playing happy wife and mother. And that is last thing I want to happen to me." Leah looked up and saw the stricken expression on her mother's face. The implications of what she had said suddenly dawned on her. "Oh, mum. I didn't mean you—"

"I understand perfectly what you meant, Leah," Sue cut in, her tone clipped. "Now, I have been nothing but patient and supportive with you, but enough is enough. I don't care if you are going through the worst period of your life, it does not give you the right to belittle the life of the people on this reservation. It does not give you the right to disrespect the life that I led with your father."

Leah's stomach was churning. The last think she ever wanted to do was hurt her mother. "Mum, I—"

"I really don't want to hear it now, Leah," Sue cut her off. "Now you are going to come to this barbeque with a smile on your face. I don't care if it's an act, but I will not allow your misery to infect the people I care about."

XXXXX

Leah observed the large group of happy people and wondered if torture was too strong a word. It was taking most of her energy to keep some semblance of a smile on her face. The only thing keeping her from leaving was the residual guilt she felt from her conversation with Sue.

"Hello."

The quiet voice broke Leah out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Emily standing hesitantly in front of her. Keeping her mother in mind as inspiration, Leah smiled warmly. "Hi Emily. How are you?"

"I'm good." She paused, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Um, could I speak with you about something?"

Leah nodded. "Sure."

Emily gestured for them to move away from the rest of the gathering. "I wanted to tell you this in person before Sam and I announced it to everybody today..."

In that instant Leah felt the air rush out of her lungs. _'Oh no, not now. Please don't tell me this now. Please just keep your mouth shut. Please don't...._ "Tell me what?" she managed to get out.

"We're having a baby," Emily replied. Even though she was keeping herself restrained, Leah could hear the pure excitement seeping through her voice.

'_Don't freak, don't freak. You have no reason to be upset by this; you have no reason to be upset by this...' _"Uh, congratulations, Emily. You must be thrilled," Leah managed to get out.

"Yeah, we are," Emily replied, relief starting to wash over her face. Leah felt a wave of irritation at this. Emily had obviously been expecting her to blow her lid. _'Just like I said, mum_.'

"Yeah, well, all the best for the two of you," Leah said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom."

Emily nodded. "I'll see you around, Leah."

Leah walked off, her steps hasty. She waited until she had gotten around the side of the house, well out of range of the guests, before exhaling loudly. She did her best but was unable to stop the choking sob that followed. She hated herself for reacting like this. She knew that this would be happening sooner or later...but just not so soon. It felt like a sucker punch to the gut. Just one more thing that Emily was able to give, that she never would.

'_Stop it, Leah,' _she told herself. _'Stop the self pity. You are better than this. Just get yourself together and get back in there." _She inhaled several shaky breaths, feeling the need to cry dissipate with each. However, the lump in her throat remained.

"Leah."

Her head jerked up at the sound of Jacob's voice. He was walking towards her, his steps almost...buoyant?

"Good, I was hoping that you would be here. You are never going to guess what I did today. I took charge—" He cut off abruptly as Leah grabbed the lapel of his shirt, yanking him close so that she could press her lips into his. She wasn't comprehending his words. All she could think of was what he could do for her. After a few surprised seconds, he pulled back. "Leah, what..."

"I don't want to talk," she whispered, fumbling furiously with his fly.

"Leah!" Jacob couldn't help but laugh. "Nearly the entire community are within very close range. I don't think that—"

"Sssh," she said, yanking down his pants and boxers. "Please. They are all going to be very occupied very soon. Can we please just do this?"

"My dad, your mum..." Jacob trailed off as he looked into Leah's eyes. They were wild with an almost desperation.

"Please Jacob," she asked, pressing her lips into his once again.

Even with a voice in his head screaming at him to say no, Jacob found himself returning the kiss with fervour. He pushed Leah up against the side of the house, pulling up her skirt so that it sat around her waist. Slipping his hands around her, he shifted her upwards so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. He ground hips into hers, causing Leah to respond with a loud moan.

"Yes, Jacob," she said, her voice husky. "Please...please..." She sighed into his ear as he brought his hand between them to push her underwear aside. He let his hand linger there for several moments, rubbing and teasing her with his thumb. "Just do it, Jake," she pleaded, grabbing his ass so that she could shove him closer to her. "Please.

She let out a small cry as he entered her, her hot muscles tightening around his hard cock. "Yes...yes...please..." she muttered as he began to move in and out, thrusting her up against the wall. It was hard, fast and furious.

Exactly what she needed.

"Please....yes...." she continued moan into his ear. '_Please make me forget, Jake. Make it go away_,' the voice in her head was screaming as he continued to move inside of her. _'Please, make me forget...'_

_'Please...'_


	7. Why

**A/N: **Ok, so the response to the previous chapter was incredible! Thank you so much to all who read the chapter. And of course, an enormous shout out to those fantastic readers who took the time to review. I love you all and I hope that my enternal gratitude is coming through in this little post :).

I love that you all loved the Jacob and Bella bit. I actually wanted to redeem Bella in that section. I am so not a Bella hater, but it was kind of coming across that way in previous chapters.

Another side note, about the argument between Leah and Sue. Yes, Sue came across as harsh (but in my opinion, Leah was also incrdibly hurtful in her words). The way I imagined Sue in the previous chapter was a woman who was at her wit's end. A woman who had been watching her daughter suffer and discovering that she really couldn't help the situation. The 'tough love' that she demonstated was a reaction to both Leah's behaviour and her inability to help her child. I decided to include a small part with Sue in this chapter in the hope that I would convey that message more clearly to my readers.

So, enough from me and here is the next chapter. I hope that you all enjoy it (and let me know what you think).

**Music: **_Better_- Regina Spektor, _I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked_- Ida Maria, _Wayside_- Birds of Tokyo

* * *

Thrusting his hands deep in his pockets, Jacob made his way into the Uley's backyard. Leah had left him, instructing him to leave at least five minutes before heading into the party. He had used that time going over exactly what had just happened. Leah had been the one to initiate their whole....agreement, but there had been something a little odd about the way she had just thrown herself at him. Jacob had seen a real desperation in her eyes and that was completely surprising to him. Leah fought tooth and nail everyday to ensure that she showed no signs of weakness, so why was she letting it show to him of all people? It was one thing to 'help' one another, but it was another to allow oneself to become vulnerable.

Spotting Quil and Embry standing by the edges, Jacob made his way over, catching the most recent strands of their conversation.

"Hmm," Quil was saying. "Do you think that she heard?"

Embry shook his head in response. "I don't think so...how bad do you think she is going to flip when she does hear the news?"

"What news?" Jacob asked, stopping in front of the two of them. "And who is she?"

Embry looked at him. "Did you not hear?" Jacob shook his head. "Sam and Emily are going to have a baby."

At that moment everything made perfect sense. Leah's assault on him, her desperate need...she must have known. Only Sam could provoke such a response out of her. He glanced around, trying to catch sight of her. He knew that being in this crowd, watching them celebrate would be killing her. He couldn't see her, and so turned back to his friends. "That is awesome. Sam must be over the moon."

Quil chuckled. "Yeah, the powerful Alpha wolf is turning into nothing but a big softie before our eyes."

Jacob grinned. "The big man melting before our eyes. That is going to be fun to watch." He paused. "So who is she?"

"Who else?" Embry replied. "Leah. Can you imagine her reaction when she hears this news?"

Jacob was silent for a few moments. "How do you know that she hasn't already heard?"

"Because we haven't seen any sort of an aftermath," Embry laughed, trailing off when he noticed that Jacob was not joining in. "What?'

"You need to give Leah more credit," Jacob answered, his voice low and even, and both Embry and Quil blinked in surprise.

"Well," Quil started carefully, "her actions of the past really don't give all that much credit, Jake."

"And she is not going to have much success in changing that if everybody is just going to sit around and expect her to behave in a particular way," Jacob shot back.

"Whoa," Embry held up his hands. "Jake, why are we even talking about this...and why do you even care? Leah rides your nerves as much as the rest of us."

Resisting the urge to smirk at Embry's choice of verb, Jacob's mind flashed back to Sam and Emily's wedding reception. Sam had also questioned him standing up for Leah. Back then he had no answer. And now? What answer could he possibly give now? '_Well guys, Leah and I have this agreement where we fuck each other in order to forget how fucked up our lives are. I would a feel a little guilty bitching behind her back, only to return to her for something else later tonight._'

Because, that was his reason, wasn't it? There couldn't possibly be any other reason why he would feel the need to stand up for Leah, right?

"Uh," Jacob started, his mind still working furiously. "It's just, with the smaller pack, I've been living with Leah's mind a lot more lately. That's gonna have some sort of effect."

Quil and Embry glanced at each other and then nodded. They both knew how strong Leah's thoughts could be. Embry in particular.

"Hey Jake," Quil started. "Did we ever thank you for taking her off our hands? Wolf form has been so much more peaceful as of late."

Jacob just shook his head and then clapped his hands together. "Right, I'm starving. Where is the food?" Thankfully, his diversion worked, with Quil and Embry directing him to the huge spread that was set up on the other side of the yard.

**_XXXXX_**

When Leah woke up late the next morning, the house was silent. Curious, she made her way into the kitchen. On the bench was a note from Sue, telling her that she was going to visit Seth for the day. Leah could not help but feel relieved. She had not spoken to her mother since their argument the day before and she had not quite figured out how to apologise.

Opening the fridge, Leah perused its contents, still deciding if she was even hungry. The process was cut short by a sharp knock on the kitchen door, the one that lead out to the Clearwater's backyard. Straightening up Leah saw Jacob through the window. That ever familiar sensation of anger coursing through her veins reared up almost immeadiately.

"What the hell are doing here?" she demanded, throwing open the door. "Since when do we make house visits to one another? What if my mum was here?"

Jacob held up his hands in mock defence, as he brushed past her. "Relax Leah, I don't think Sue will appreciate you phasing in her kitchen."

"Don't flatter yourself, Jacob. You don't affect me that much."

"Well, should we start to talk about the ways in which I do affect you?" he asked, flashing his usual smirk. Upon seeing the narrowing of Leah's eyes, he made the very quick decision that this line of conversation was not the best option at this present time. "Ok, ok... I am not stupid- I know how you want this to work. But, I knew that Sue wasn't home. I was out for a walk, and saw her leave. Thought that I would drop around."

"Why?" Leah questioned.

"I wanted to talk to you."

Leah let out a loud sigh, as the puzzle pieces fit together in her mind. "I am fine, Jacob."

"Who said that I was going to ask that?" Jacob asked, his expression telling her that that was exactly his topic of question.

"Jacob, you went to that party. You would have heard the news and put two and two together. As much as I hate to admit this, you are not stupid. I am more than aware that you know it equals four."

Jacob gave a short nod. "I just wanted to see if you were ok."

"You mean, you wanted to make sure that I wasn't losing the plot and wrecking havoc all over the damn place."

"Did I say that?" Jacob snapped. "Look, you said something to me the other day that really helped and –"

"Jacob, deep and meaningful's were not part of the agreement."

"Can you just give me a little leeway here? Let me explain something?" Jacob asked. Leah stared at him for a few moments before nodding. "I didn't get a chance to tell you what I did yesterday morning. We kind of distracted each other..."

Leah simply raised her eyebrows, her foot beginning to tap on the kitchen floor. Jacob fought back a laugh. She needed no words to express that she wanted him to hurry the fuck up.

"I took some damn action. Spoke to Bella. Told her that she cannot be a part of my life anymore. And I wanted to thank you. Because if it weren't for you, I don't think that I would have ever been able to do that."

Leah snorted softly. "Jake, that had nothing to do with me. You did that all on your own."

"But if it weren't for you—"

"Stop right there. I have played no role whatsoever it the soap opera that is your and Bella's relationship."

"You told me to take control—"

"Jake—"

"And I want to be able to help you in some way as well."

"I am getting all the help I need, thank you very much," Leah replied, her voice clipped. She was trying very hard to fight the small part of her that wanted to accept Jacob's offer. The small part of her that was telling that it was ok to appear weak. The small part of her that was telling her that Jacob would truly be able to help her. _'The small part of me that is completely fucking stupid,' _she told herself furiously.

"But what—"

"And if I ever think that I might need more, then I will let you know."

"Are you sure? Because, all you have to do is tell me—"

"Stop!" Leah yelled. "Just stop before I have to hit you or something! Ugh! I really don't like you at the moment."

Jacob laughed. "You don't like me full stop."

"Yeah, but I was beginning to tolerate you. But for that to happen you need to shut the fuck up and get your clothes off."

Jacob cocked his head to the side, biting his bottom lip. "So, is that a general observation on your behalf...or a direct instruction for this particular point in time?"

Leah stepped closer to him, grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and yanked it over the top of his head. "I think that it must be an instruction," she murmured, reaching up so that she could press her lips into his. He moaned in response, his arms snaking around her body, to pull her tighter to him. One of his hands made its way under her shirt, cupping itself around one of her breasts.

Feeling the warmth of his skin on hers, Leah let the numbing of her mind take over. Jacob was wrong and she was more than right, she told herself as she started to fumbled with the fly on his shorts. This was the only kind of help that she needed.

_**XXXXX**_

Seth watched his mother listlessly poke her meal with a fork. Clearing his throat, he leaned back in his seat. "Spill Sue."

Sue looked up. "Seth Clearwater- I don't care how old you become you will always refer to me as mum." Even though she was frowning, Seth could hear the laughter in her voice. "And what exactly am I going to be spilling?"

Seth shrugged. "I can only assume it is something to do with Leah."

Sue sighed, placing her fork down. "Have you spoken to her lately?"

"Not really. She is not really up for talking these days," he replied. "She is more inclined towards screaming and yelling."

"We had a bit of argument yesterday," Sue said, her voice clearly laced with distress. "We both said things...harsh things. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what she needs; she won't tell me what she needs. I just want to be able to help her, but..."

Seth reached across, clasping one of his mother's hands. "Mum, Leah knows what she needs. She will be able to get herself through this."

Sue shook her head sadly. "I am not so sure, Seth. So much time has passed and she is still so...angry. It is almost as if she has become dependent on this misery."

"Look, you and I both know that the best way to deal with her. Support her if she seems like she needs it, tell she acting like a bitch if she is."

"Please don't call you sister that name. I hear it from too many other people," Sue muttered. "That term is just thrown around without any consideration."

"Sorry," Seth replied. "We just need to make sure we always tell it to her straight. That is what she does and I think that she will appreciate it in return."

"Easy for you to say," Sue said with a small smile. "You don't exactly live with her anymore."

Seth let out a laugh and picked up his water glass. "Touché."

The smile slowly fell from Sue's face as she went to pick up her fork. "What if we never get her back, Seth? What if she can't get herself through this? What if she stays consumed by this hurt forever."

As Seth set his glass back onto the table, he could not look into his mother's eyes. Those thoughts had also crossed his mind. And, like Sue, he could not bear to consider an answer.

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob turned at the end of the Clearwater's driveway, and walked along the edge of the road in the direction of his house. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to look Sue Clearwater in the face, given what he had just done on her kitchen floor with her daughter. Images of a naked Leah, her back arched back as she came on top of him kept playing through his mind.

He smiled to himself as he ambled along and was quite enjoying the replay of events in his head. However, they came to an abrupt stop when he thought of Leah beforehand, when he was trying to offer his help.

The sadness and desperation in her eyes was becoming more and more apparent to him. There was no escaping it. And their agreement, it couldn't possibly be enough, could it? Would it have been enough for him had Leah not offered him any advice? Or would it just have become a way for him to suppress everything...a way to stop dealing with everything?

He stopped, and turned back towards the Clearwater's. It wasn't enough, he knew that, and on that realisation he was aware that it would be wrong of him to continue walking away. Leah had helped him and he owed her that much.

As Jacob neared the Clearwater's he noticed Leah walking down the driveway. For reasons unknown to even him, he halted his steps and moved behind one of the nearby trees. From there he was able to watch as she made her way to letterbox. He kept his eyes trained on her, noticing the graceful lilt of her steps and the way her hair turned almost blue under the sun.

Mail in hand, she turned and Jacob saw her eyes. Sadness again. He was seized with a great need to make that sadness go away and...

His stomach turned as he began to piece all of his thoughts together. As they all fit together, the meaning behind them began to evolve into something else entirely.

Jacob closed his eyes, his thoughts going back to his conversation with Quil and Embry the day before.

"_Whoa," Embry held up his hands. "Jake, why are we even talking about this...and why do you even care?_

"_Why? Because...because I think that I am starting to care about her, Embry."_

Oh fuck.


	8. Confusion

**A/N: **Ok, there has been too much time pass between updates and for that I apologise to everyone. Believe me guys, when I get reviewers asking me to update ASAP I want to be able to do it so badly. Unfortunately, life has been insanely crazy at the moment. You know when you go through a period of time where there is about a million (ok, slight exaggaration) little things that you need to think about? Well, that is what I have been doing recently. The biggest thing at the moment for me is that it is report writing time at work (reports- the bane of all teacher's :S). I am saying this because I still have quite a few to get through, so there may also be a slight delay before I post my next chapter. I will do everything I can to try and update before the week is through, but it may not happen. And I really cannot see the principal accepting this story as a legit excuse for my reports not being completed by the due date.

Right, enough of that. Once again I am sending out a thank you to everyone who read this story. And of course, the extra special, Godzilla sized thank you to those who took the time to review and let me know what you think of this fic. I have this entire fic planned out, so it is so rewarding hearing that you all seem to enjoy the path that its taking.

So, I am going to stop here, because I have already made you wait long enough for this chapter. Please read and enjoy (and reviews are always nice as well...)

**Music: **_Howl_- The Grates, _Snakeskin_- Gyroscope, _Train Wrecks_- Birds of Tokyo

* * *

Billy sat in pensive silence, watching as Jacob sat at the kitchen table, cereal bowl in front of him. Over the past couple of days, his concern for Jacob had waned slightly. His son's smiles had been reaching his eyes and Billy could tell, just by looking at him, that he was more relaxed.

But then Jacob had arrived home the previous night and had gone straight to his room without a word. He was still yet to say a word, and at this present time he was staring into the bowl in front of him. Something was up and Billy could not put his finger on it.

Jacob glanced up and caught Billy staring at him. He knew the look in his father's eyes and suppressed a groan. '_Here we go again_,' he thought to himself, putting down his spoon. "What?" he asked.

Billy shrugged. "I didn't say anything."

"I know that. But you are doing the dad staring thing, which means that you want to talk about something."

"Oh, is that so," Billy replied. "Can a father not simply observe his son without any pretence?"

Jacob snorted, throwing up his hands. "Ok then, dad. Observe away."

Billy let out a low chuckle. "I'm afraid that I can't. You've got me stumped, Jake. You are going to need to fill me in."

"Oh no," Jacob shook his head vehemently. "We are not going to have this conversation again."

"Fine," Billy said, manoeuvring his chair towards the door. "But, can I say something?" Jacob nodded as he picked up his spoon. "The past couple of days, I could have sworn that you were happy. Whatever the weight was that was on your shoulders was gone. Today, I am not so sure." With that Billy wheeled himself out of the room.

Jacob had frozen, the spoon halfway to his mouth. He no longer felt hungry, only exhausted. Which was to be expected, given that he had spent most of the night, wide awake, his mind running at a million miles an hour.

'_It was because of what happened with Bella. Finally standing up has got to have positive effect_,' he tried to convince himself. That was why Billy had noticed the positive change in him. But was it really that simple? He groaned, dropping his head into his hands as an image of Leah flashed in his mind. What the fuck was his thinking? The thing with Leah was only meant to be a release for the two of them. Actual feelings were not supposed to come into it...

'_And you do not have any fucking 'feelings'...you are just confusing yourself. There is nothing real about you and Leah..._' he played these thoughts through his head, in a desperate attempt to convince himself otherwise.

But they were soon interrupted by another image of Leah. Her eyes, her skin, her scent.

Jacob slumped down further, thumping his head on the table. This was just fucking brilliant.

_**XXXXX**_

Leah inhaled the crisp air deeply and focused on keeping her legs moving at a steady pace. It felt good, the breeze blowing gently on her face as her feet pounded the ground beneath. She had woken up that morning feeling energised. For once it had not been an effort to force herself out of bed and outside. She allowed herself a small smile as she continued to run. Either yesterday in the kitchen with Jacob was having some serious after effects, or there really was some hope for her after all.

She did not stop until her lungs were burning, screaming for a decent burst of oxygen. She slowed her pace and stopped. Using a tree to help her stretch out, Leah looked out at the wild waves of La Push. They looked like so much fun, and a swim would feel fantastic after that run. Without any more consideration, she started making her way over the rocks.

However, before she reached the sand the sight of two people stopping by the water's edge made her come to a screaming halt.

Sam and Emily.

Leah did not even bother fighting back a groan. Just what she fucking needed. The day had started so well and now...

Leah made to turn and leave, not wanting to have to speak to the two of them. But, out of the corner of her eye, she saw as Sam embraced Emily from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. One of his hands made its way down, gently caressing her lower stomach.

Leah stopped, a large lump forming in her throat. The usual thoughts began running through her head. '_It isn't fair...I will never have that...Sam never felt that way about me...Why am I so fucked up, when everything is going so right for them..._'

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hit something. She wanted to...

'_Stop!_' Leah clenched her fists, inhaling deeply. She was better than this. She wasn't going to let herself get overwhelmed anymore. She was not going to allow herself to be _that _person anymore. It was about time that she fucking stood up and took some action.

'_Action...take control. Make something happen for yourself. You need to take control._'

Determined, she turned and jogged away. She knew who she needed to see.

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob stepped out of the bathroom, revelling in the silence of the house. He had been avoiding another conversation with Billy- he was not sure how much longer he could keep lying to his father's face. It was getting to be too much.

Thankfully, Billy had left late afternoon with Rachel, for a dinner at Paul's. Jacob had bit back his thoughts that is was about time that Paul started eating at his own house, and remained thankful that he could continuing torturing himself with nobody else in the house.

Readjusting his towel so that it was wrapped tighter around his waist, he opened the door to his bedroom and walked in. It took him all of two seconds to see the female figure reclining on his bed and realise that being alone was not going to be something he could enjoy that evening.

"What the fuck, Leah?" he snapped. He didn't want to see her. He needed to get his runaway thoughts under control before facing her. Doing what they had been doing, while thinking that...he felt like that would be a very bad idea. Some forms of self-torture he could deal with. That, he wasn't sure.

"If I recall it was you who started the sneaking through each other's windows," Leah grinned, standing up from his bed.

"And as I recall," Jacob retorted, "it was you, only yesterday, who freaked out about visiting each other's houses."

Leah shrugged. "I had a change of heart," she said, sidling up to him. "I wanted to see you...felt like some fun." '_Not wanted...needed_,' a small voice in her head said, but Leah pushed it away without a second thought. She needed no one but herself. "So what do you say? Feel like some fun? I know that nobody else is home."

Jacob bit back a groan. He wanted to resist, but wasn't sure if he would be able to. When he did not respond quickly enough, Leah pressed her body up against his, pinning him against the wall. Leaning up, she pressed her lips into his, pushing her tongue in to meet his. Leah could sense a hint of resistance on his behalf and so she reached down, grabbing him through the towel. "What's the matter?" she murmured into his mouth as he inhaled sharply. "Don't you not want to play?"

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut. His body was screaming at him to throw Leah on the bed and fuck her senseless. But his mind was stopping him. Telling him that things had changed. Telling him that—

"Guess you need a little incentive then," Leah said. With a tug, the towel around Jacob's waist fell to the ground. Before Jacob could stop her, she had knelt down in front of him, clasping both her hands around his cock. His body, obviously disagreeing with his mind, reacted instantly and Leah let out a soft laugh. "Enough incentive then," she whispered, before taking his length into her mouth.

Jacob let out a loud moan. Her mouth was so hot and wet and it was impossible to fight the feeling that was building in the pit of his stomach. But he could not ignore the thought that this was wrong. For some goddamned unknown reason his feelings had decided to go and change. Having Leah doing this, completely unaware of the change, made it feel as if he were using her. He couldn't do this, could he? He couldn't—

"Oh, fuck Leah," he let out as she brought her mouth down on him again. Using her tongue, she ran circles around his tip, before taking the rest of him deeper into her mouth. She continued her moving up and down him, sucking and licking. She squeezed her hands around the base of his shaft, ensuring that a part of her was touching him at all times.

'_You can't do this...you are not this person, Jacob. You do not want to be this person. Don't let this turn into a sick obsession...'_ Jacob's eyes had remained closed through this, as he allowed his mind and body to argue. His mind was close to winning, but then Leah moaned, her throat vibrating against him. And that was all his body needed to win out.

"Ugh, Leah," his hands found their way to her hair and he held on, thrusting his hips to meet her movements. "Don't stop...keep...oh fuck..."

He opened his eyes and looked down, at the same moment that Leah glanced up at him. And that was all it took. Her eyes, filled with utter lust, looking up at him. With a loud groan, Jacob thrust his hips once more and came hard, exploding into her mouth.

His eyes widened slightly as he watched her swallow every drop, and then lick his tip once more. While he had never felt so turned on in his life, a part of him felt disgusted. If Leah knew what he had been thinking, she would be gone in a second- she would not have touched him that way. After all, it was not part of the deal. But he hadn't told her...and why? Because he wanted something to happen between the two of them? Because he wanted to use her for that without telling her how he really felt?

'_Stop it_,' he told himself, as Leah stood up. There were no feelings. He had just taken a small moment and obsessed about it until it was completely taking over him. The agreement between Leah and he worked. He could do this, he could prove this himself.

Leah reached out, placing a hand on his chest. "So, was that—"

She was cut off abruptly as Jacob grabbed her and turned her around. Bending her over so that her palms rested flat on his bed, he pulled down her shorts and underwear together. Stepping up close behind her, he positioned himself between her legs, his tip poised at her entrance. "Jake," Leah gasped, excitment rising within her, a reaction to sudden, almost animalistic action. "What the fuck are you waiting for?"

With that he thrust into her, hard and she let out a guttural moan. Leah could feel his hands grasping her hips as he pushed into her, harder and deeper each time. "Jake...yes...oh...fuck yes," she punctuated each thrust. For a fleeting moment, a thought crossed her mind. A thought that she would love to spend the rest of her life with Jacob, doing this. She pushed it aside. Just a reaction to the moment, she told herself.

Jacob was furiously trying to convince himself otherwise as well. '_See Jacob_, _you can do this,_" he told himself, as he grunted with each of his movements. He just had to do this, get whatever was in his system out. He could do this without any confusing feelings, and see what his agreement with Leah truly was- an opportunity for both of them to get a simple fuck.

He increased his movements, convincing himself that his confusion was evaporating with every thrust. But then Leah straightened up, bringing her back flush with his chest. Raising an arm up, she wrapped it around the back of his neck, resting her neck back on his shoulder.

"Jake..." she turned her head towards his. "Don't stop...please," she whispered, her breath tickling his neck.

Jacob almost stopped right there. The position, it was too intimate. He felt the urge to kiss her, to murmur in her ear that he wanted more. To tell her that he was starting to see her as so much more than just a release.

At the moment Leah cried out, her muscles contracting around. "Oh...Jacob..." she thrust back into him a couple of times, increasing the intensity between. But as she continued to ride out her orgasm, all Jacob could hear was the sound of his name on her lips as she climaxed. He wanted to hear it again...and again...

Leah was leaning back against him, her chest rising and falling erratically. When her breathing had levelled, Jacob stepped back and picked up his towel. As he wrapped it around his waist, he watched as Leah pulled her shorts up, a large grin playing on her face.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked. He wanted to get into their usual banter. He needed to feel like everything was normal between the two of them.

Leah looked at him. "I was just thinking how great this is- you and me."

Jacob's heart leapt as he stared at her. Was she feeling the same as him? Could she possibly—

"I mean, I just love how we can do what we just did and it's not even weird afterwards. We can just carry on, with no baggage whatsoever. I mean, we could go and have dinner with our family and friends right now and they would not have the slightest inkling that something was going on. Because," Leah paused, her smile growing bigger, "when you think about it, nothing is going on. We do what we do and that's it."

"Yeah," Jacob replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. "No baggage is a great thing."

Leah laughed as she made her way over to the window. "I'll see you around, Jake," she said, before climbing out into the darkness.

Jacob waited a few seconds and then slumped to the floor, his head resting on the top of his knees. He needed to stop this now. He couldn't tell Leah what was going on in his mind and there was no way that he could continue with their 'agreement' and still feel like a decent human being. And most of all, he had to ensure that he did not allow himself to get hurt again. He had had enough of that lately to last a good while and there was not a chance in hell that he was going to do that to himself again.

But then that annoying, niggling voice started again in his head.

'_Too late_.'


	9. Reaction

**A/N: **Ok, so reporting is finally over (almost- still a mass amount of proofreading to do) But anyway, my brain is now freed up to think about the goings on of Twilight, as opposed to writing comments on how each particluar student has performed in regards to reading, writing, speaking and listening. For any Australian readers, that was how I got to spend my entire long weekend...  
Anyway, that is my vent (I really do love my job). I want to thank everyone for their patience for this update. Onto the happy, happy, joy, joy stuff. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this fic. An even bigger thank you to those who have been this fic to their favourites, story alerts etc etc. And the extra special, super jumbo sized thank you to those who took the time to review and let me know what you think. Your enthusiasm boosts my motivation to such a high level. I feel so guilty that I can't update every single day.

Right, I have already made you wait long enough. Enough of me, and on with the fic...

**Music: **_Covers Are Thrown_- Josh Pyke, _Fall At Your Feet_- Clare Bowditch, _One Crowded Hour_- Augie March

* * *

Seth paused at the front door, wondering if he should knock. It was his home after all, but after his time away it really did not feel that way. With a shake of his head, he pushed the door open. Whatever he felt it didn't matter. He could only imagine his mother's reaction if he actually knocked.

"Mum," he called out, making his way down the hall.

"Seth?" he could hear Sue's voice coming from the lounge. "Is that you?" Her head popped through the doorway, a surprised expression painting her face.

"Yup," he closed the gap between them, wrapping her in a tight embrace. "How are you?"

"I am great," she gestured for him to sit down. "What brings you down this way- I was beginning to think we would never see you back here."

Seth settled down in his favourite arm chair. "I was planning to go into the town to get some groceries. Edward offered to drive, and then said that he'd drop me off here and then run the errands himself. He figured my time was better spent with my family."

"Well, remind me to thank him for that later," Sue said. "But now, tell me-how is everything going?"

"A lot better," Seth replied. "We've got some good leads on getting information about Nessie. Carlisle is planning a trip to meet some contacts in South America and he is feeling really positive about it. We've come across nothing this promising yet."

Sue nodded. It was still new to her to hear her son refer to the Cullen's with such familiarity and content. She understood that they were now an incredibly important part of his life, but it was going to be a great amount of time before she got used to having....that species....as family.

"But what about here?" Seth was asking. "Where's Leah?"

"Still asleep," Sue replied, somewhat absentmindedly, her mind still on the Cullen's.

"Don't tell me that the two of you are still at each other's throats," Seth groaned.

Sue shook her head, finally paying direct attention to her son. "No. We're not," she paused. "Too be honest, Leah seems almost happy at the moment."

Seth stared at his mother, dead pan. "Ha ha, mum. Very funny."

"I am not joking," Sue insisted. "And, I'm not saying that we have our old Leah back. It's just that she is relaxed, not so wound up. Have you said anything to her since our last conversation?"

"No. I haven't seen her...Leah happy?" Seth said and Sue nodded. "Are you sure that she hasn't started self-medicating?"

The guilty expression on Sue's face told him that she had in fact considered that, and had taken steps to prove it wrong. "No, she's not."

Seth let out a low whistle. "You are lucky she didn't catch you sneaking through her things," he said with a low chuckle. "But, we shouldn't be talking like this. We should just be happy that she is happy."

"I am happy, but I am going to be holding off a little longer before I start celebrating," Sue said, leaning back in her seat. "But fingers crossed that we will actually be able to."

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob wandered aimlessly down along the streets of Forks. He had no reason to be there except for escape. He had woken up that morning still confused as hell, and the reservation had started to make him feel claustrophobic.

Well, maybe not so much the reservation, as the proximity of a person within the reservation.

Here, in Forks, the faces were those of strangers. They saw him as only some abnormally tall man. Intimidated, people went out of their way to avoid him. There would be nobody asking him if he were ok. And there would be no running into Leah. He had too much to sort out before seeing her again. And he needed to do that alone.

"Jacob?"

Jacob stopped short, recognising the voice immediately. '_Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me_.'

Edward chuckled, walking up closer to him. "It's nice to see you too."

"Well, if you heard that, then surely you heard the stuff about wanting to be alone," Jacob pointed out.

Edward gave a small shrug. "I might have, but I needed to speak to you about something."

"What are you even doing here?" Jacob asked, looking in the direction from where Edward had come. The supermarket. Not the place you would expect to see a bloodsucker.

"Now Jacob, call me that I will have no choice but to retaliate," Edward said, a small smirk on his face.

"You know what they say about eavesdropping," Jacob retorted. "So...you, supermarket. Care to explain?"

Edward held up the bag in his hand. "Seth doesn't really appreciate our diet. He was coming in today for supplies. I offered to do the shopping so he could stop in and see Sue and Leah."

At the mention of Leah's name, Jacob's mind flooded with all the thoughts he had been fighting to keep suppressed while around Edward. For a split second, everything took over- from his most intimate moments with her to his most recent confusion.

Jacob could see Edward's eyes widen slightly, and so he spoke quickly, attempting to distract them both. "You said that you wanted to speak with me about something?"

Thankfully, Edward caught the hint. "Yes. Alice called me about ten minutes ago. She'd just had a vision."

"What about?" Jacob asked, though he was fairly sure of the answer. Edward would only inform him of Alice's visions if it meant some form of danger.

"A coven of vampires are making their way to Forks. One seems to have an old connection with Carlisle and they are coming to see him. Like most, they are curious that he has managed to set up a permanent residence."

"Will they cause any trouble?" Jacob asked.

Edward shook his head. "At this point, Alice can see no trouble. Also, she saw their complete path from where they are to the house, which means they will not be crossing Quileute land. But, I thought that you would all appreciate knowing."

"Thanks," Jacob said. "Could you keep us posted as they get closer?"

"Of course," Edward said, glancing down at his watch. "I'm afraid that I have to go. The sun is going to be making an appearance this afternoon. I need to be back home by then." He turned, starting to walk away, but then stopped. "You should tell her."

Jacob's stomach clenched, knowing exactly what Edward was talking about. "It's not that easy. I don't even know what it is I should tell her."

Edward turned and looked at him directly. "You know exactly what. You just provided me with a lot of information, Jacob and what I know is that you are confusing yourself to avoid what you're feeling."

Jacob's brow furrowed. He was not enjoying getting this advice from Edward, of all people. "What would you know?" he muttered, childishly.

"I know that Leah cares for you as well."

"And how the fuck could you possibly know that, Cullen?" Jacob demanded. "Have you been standing outside her bedroom window reading her mind?"

Edward did not even flinch at Jacob's tone. "I just saw the way she looks at you, Jacob," he said calmly. "Open your eyes. You've been so blinded by your own confusion that you have failed to see what is right in front of you."

Jacob stood, rooted in the spot, watching as Edward turned and walked away. In a strange way he felt both lighter and burdened at the same time. Edward had offered him some revelations, but would he really be able to do something with them? Was he going to be strong enough to voice his thoughts to Leah?

_**XXXXX**_

"Jake," Billy called out from the kitchen early that evening. Jacob groaned. He had barely been home ten minutes and the last thing he needed was his father starting on him again.

"What?" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

Billy held out an empty casserole dish towards him. "Could you please take this back to the Clearwater's? I told Sue that I would get it back to her."

"Aww, dad, do I have too? Where's Rachel? Why can't she do it?" Jacob asked, his whiny tone masking the utter fear that he was experiencing at that moment. He wasn't ready yet- was he?

"Because I asked you to," Billy replied bluntly. "It'll take you five minutes. Now get over there."

Jacob huffed, turning on his heel and walking out. He had no choice- he had to be ready, like it or not.

_**XXXXX**_

"Oh, Jacob!" Sue gasped, placing a hand on the doorframe to steady herself. "You surprised me."

"Sorry Mrs C," Jacob replied. He had been standing on the Clearwater's porch, fist poised to knock when the front door had flown open. "Dad sent me around with this," he explained, holding up the casserole dish.

"Oh right," Sue glanced into the house. "I'm running late for a dinner, Jake- do you just want to take it in? Leave it on the kitchen bench. Thanks, that'll be great," she rambled off before stepping out the door and dashing towards her car.

After inhaling deeply and swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Jacob stepped into the house and headed towards the kitchen.

'_Oh god, the kitchen_,' he thought, remembering what had gone on last time he was in there. Instinctively, he quickened his pace, wanting to get in and get out as quickly as possible. Placing the dish on the kitchen bench, he turned to leave and smacked straight into Leah.

"Oomph..." she stumbled back slightly before looking up. "Jacob?"

"Uh, I was just bringing a dish..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. Leah's hair was wet. She had obviously recently gotten out of the shower and that thought was causing an influx of images in Jacob's mind.

"And you were going to leave without even saying good bye? You know," Leah said, raising an eyebrow, "if I actually gave a damn, I might feel a little hurt."

Jacob coughed. "Not if you gave a damn, Leah," he retorted. "More along the lines of if you were actually _capable_ of feeling something." '_There,_' he thought. '_You can do this. You can play. You can joke. You can do this._'

Leah laughed. "Touché," she said softly, running her fingers lightly up his chest. She stopped at his collarbone, fiddling with the collar on his t-shirt. "So, mum has gone out..."

Jacob felt his chest tighten at the sensation of her fingers on him. '_Nope...not a chance. Time to man up.' _"Uh, Leah. I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

Leah snorted, rolling her eyes dramatically. "Are you serious? You actually want to talk?" He nodded and she tightened her grip on his collar. "My mother has gone out for a boozy dinner with girlfriends, which means she will not be coming home tonight. We have the place to ourselves, Jacob, which means the last thing I plan on doing is talking," she said, before crushing her lips into his. Inside she was smiling. She had been trying to find a way to keep herself occupied that evening when Jacob had just about fallen in her lap.

Jacob gave up all thoughts of resisting when Leah pushed her tongue thorough his lips, curling around his. '_After_,' he promised himself. _'After...I will speak to her after._' He snaked his arms around Leah's body, pulling her closer to him. However, when she started tugging at the fly on his shorts, he pulled his lips from hers. "Not here," he murmured into her ear. "Upstairs, your room."

Leah groaned. "You are going to make me hold off for that long? That staircase is just too fucking big," she replied, hints of her usual sarcastic tone playing at the edges of her voice.

"There is no way that I am going to be able to be in the same vicinity as your mother if we defile her house again. Upstairs or nowhere."

"Fine." Leah grabbed him by the wrist and led him up the stairs. After closing the door to her room, she turned and started to push Jacob towards the bed.

Without a word, he grabbed her by her wrists, stopping her actions. He turned them around, so that he could be the one in control. He pushed Leah gently down onto the bed. He was going to do this right. No quick fuck this time. After the last time he knew he would not get through it.

He moved himself onto the bed, positioning himself between Leah's legs. He tugged gently at her shorts, and she lifted her hips to allow him to pull them down. He did so, taking her underwear with them at the same time and tossing them aside. He bent forward, pushing her singlet top up so that he could press his lips into her stomach. He swirled his tongue, as he moved down, feeling her skin break out in goose bumps at his touch.

Leah let out a moan as she felt Jacob's mouth press between her legs. She arched her hips up to meet his tongue as it flicked out against her clit. "Yes...Jake..." she let out a low moan as he continued to lap at her. She reached down, grabbing hold of his hair. "Don't...stop."

And he didn't. All Leah could hear was the sound of her own erratic breaths as he continued to caress her with his tongue. She let out a gasp as Jacob pushed a finger inside of her, and she felt a delicious tightening in the pit of her stomach. "Fuck, yes," she hissed, as Jacob removed his finger, and then pushed two in.

Leah started to buck her hips slightly, wanting to increase the combined friction of his tongue and fingers. "Jake....Jake...." her voice was barely a whisper as the sensation in her stomach started to spread to every inch of her body. All that mattered was his hot mouth and the pressure of his fingers. "Uh...Jake....yes....please....uh...." Leah let out a cry as her building orgasm finally released. "Jake....Jake....Jake...."

Jacob continued until she fell silent, breathing heavily. He extracted his fingers, and slowly began moving up her body, tracing all of her contours with his lips. He wanted to savour this. He had no idea how things were going to pan out once he opened his big fat trap.

He paused at her collarbone, sweeping his tongue out to taste her sweet skin. "Jake," she murmured, reaching for the waistband of his shorts. Jacob could sense her urgency, as she fumbled with the buttons. He pulled her hand away, undoing the shorts himself. He wanted to control this, the pace. He was not just going to mindlessly fuck her.

He released his hard cock, which had been throbbing ever since Leah had pressed her lips into his outside the kitchen. Suctioning his lips against her neck, he felt Leah's hips arch up, waiting to meet him. He waited a few more seconds before slipping inside of her.

He groaned at the feeling of her around him. He started to move inside her, keeping it slower than normal. He kept his lips pressed to some part of her skin at all times, and his hands did the best job they could at caressing everywhere else.

Leah was allowing herself to be consumed by him. It was as if his lips and hands where _everywhere_. But a small part of her was feeling somewhat confused. This felt so different to the way things usually were between the two of them. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out why. But then, arching her hips to meet his motions, she really couldn't give a shit. Slow or fast, she could seriously imagine spending the rest of her life doing this.

_Rest of her life_? Leah's eyes flew open at that thought, as Jacob began moaning against her neck. She pushed the thought aside. The things people consider in the middle of a fuck.

"Leah...uh..." He was close. Leah brought her hands down his ass, pressing down to grind their bodies closer to together. "Oh...ugh....fuck!" He groaned loudly, the sensation vibrating her skin, as he came, his body tesne and trembling. "Leah..."

He lay slacken, against her body for several moments, before slipping out of her and rolling over. He stayed there, flat on his back, a hand thrown over his eyes. Leah propped herself up on an elbow, watching him.

"Getting comfy there, Black?"

Jacob suddenly sat bolt upright. He twisted, so that his feet were resting in the floor, manoeuvring himself that he could pull up his shorts. "Leah."

"Yeah?" She sat up, covering herself with her blanket.

"Gotta talk to you about something," he muttered.

Leah let out a small laugh. "Oh god, you really were serious about that? What is so important?"

"I...ummm...." He shifted his body so that he could face her, running a hand through his hair.

"Spit it out, Jake."

"Ok, fine...." Jacob inhaled deeply. It was now or never."Look, I know that we agreed that this was never going to be anything more than 'helping' each other..."

Leah's stomach churned. The difference, the difference in Jacob. Her cogs in her mind, which was now clear enough to function, started turning. No, no, no, no.... " Jake, don't," she said quietly.

"No, I have to say this. I don't know exactly what I feel, but what I do know is that this—" he gestured between the two of them, "is becoming more for me. I want more. I want you. I want to spend time with you. I want to really be with you, and not just pretend to be."

Leah sat there, staring at him for what felt like an eternity. He couldn't read her expression and he just hoped that it was only surprise that she was processing.

"Get out," she whispered.

Jacob couldn't be sure if he had heard her correctly. "What?"

"I said get out!" she replied, her voice considerably louder. "Why would you do this?"

"Do what?" Jacob was confused. "I don't—"

"Why would you want to ruin everything?" Leah yelled, her expression furious. "We had a good thing going, Jacob. It was working and you just had to go and fuck everything up, didn't you? Why would you do that?"

Jacob stood up from the bed, shocked at the vehemence of her response. "Leah, I didn't want to lie—"

"Get out!" she shrieked. "Get out of my house and don't fucking come near me again!"

As Jacob stumbled out of the room, Leah fell back into her pillows, hot tears pricking her eyes. She has sworn that she would not allow herself to become vulnerable and she had just let him make her feel that way. Burying her face into a pillow she screamed. Again and again, until her throat was aching.

Why did he have to ruin everything?


	10. Walk

**A/N: **Once again, I am sending a thank you to all those who read this fic, and to those who added this to their story alerts etc. And of course, the super massive, extra special thank you to those who sent me a review. It is still surreal to me that people actually enjoy reading my writing. It is such a lift to log into my email and see the support that I am getting from my readers. Whatever shit is going on, you never fail to put a smile on my face.

I just wanted to say that I loved writing this chapter so much. The whole reason being that the conversation that occurs at the conclusion of this chapter is what started this whole fic in the first place. That is how I usually start a story- I will hear a voice in my head and go from there. This time it was Leah's, and I hope that you all appreciate it.

**Music: **_Where Does The Good Go- _Tegan and Sara_, Feels Like Pain- _The Grates, _Broken Bones_- Birds of Tokyo, _This Modern Love_- Bloc Party

* * *

Jacob stumbled into his bedroom, throwing himself down on top of his covers. A part of him had feared Leah's rejection...but not on quite a severe level. He had never heard her sound so angry before. It scared him, that so much vehemence could be directed towards him. He pulled the pillow out from underneath him, holding over his face. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell...but he couldn't. He felt that completely and utterly drained that he could not even bring himself to open his mouth. He could only lie there and do nothing. How was that for taking action?

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob's eyes fluttered open and he saw the bleary grey morning clouds. Glancing at his clock, he saw that it had been about thirteen hours since he had gotten home. Thirteen hours since...

"Fuck this," he muttered, climbing off the bed. He needed to see Leah. She owed him a fucking explanation. She could not react that way and just expect him to accept him. The psycho bitch act might have worked at keeping the rest of the reservation away from her, but he was not going to let her get off that easily.

He allowed himself the luxury of a long, hot shower, letting the steaming water work at his tense muscles, before heading out and walking towards the Clearwater's. As he approached he wondered how he was going to get around Sue to speak to Leah. He was contemplating whether he would be able to get through Leah's window before she landed a fist on some section of his body when he saw Leah turn out of her driveway, a couple of hundred metres up ahead. Jacob hesitated for a moment and then proceeded to follow her. He only hoped that she was heading somewhere they could talk.

A few minutes later she walked off the road, veering towards the beach. He looked up at the sky. The clouds had changed from the usual grey to a threatening black and his heart leapt. He didn't think there would be an abundance of people clambering to be on the sand today.

He hastened his pace, jogging so that he could catch Leah before she headed into the water or something. "Leah!" he called and she whirled around. For the briefest moment her expression appeared completely wrought and anguished. But when she registered who was standing behind her, it quickly changed to anger.

"I told you stay away from me, Jacob," she seethed.

"And now it is my turn to talk," he retorted. "You kind of hogged the podium last night."

"I don't want to talk," she replied bluntly and then turned around to continue walking away.

"Stop," Jacob sprinted forward, grabbing her arm and halting her steps.

Leah wrenched herself from his grip. "Keep your fucking hands off me."

"Leah—"

"Did you not hear what I said last night, Jacob? Our little agreement is over. And since we were never friends to begin with there is no need for you to insist that we talk. Leave me alone, Jacob."

"You cannot just walk away from this, Leah," he spat, fury building up in his stomach.

"Watch me," she said quietly, turning on her heel and walking away from him.

Jacob wanted to follow, but the anger that was flooding his veins made his blood feel as if it were boiling. He felt an uncontrollable shaking in his muscles...something he had not felt since the night of Bella's wedding.

He took off, sprinting away from the beach. He reached the tree line in time, the thick greenery keeping him hidden from any possibility of prying eyes. He let himself go and phased mid step. As his four legs hit the ground he only increased his pace. He wanted to run forever, to get away from everything. If he ran fast enough then maybe the deep ache that Leah's words had caused would disappear.

As the trees passed in a blur, his fur rippling because of his speed, Jacob found that the ache did dissipate...but only to let his fury continue to build inside. He was so angry that it hurt. He was so angry that he wanted to hurt somebody. The problem was that the person he wanted to hurt was himself.

He realised that the majority of his fury was not directed at Leah. It was at himself. He was furious at himself that he had, again, allowed himself to feel for someone who would not feel something back. That he had laid himself on the line again, only to be shot back down. That he had been so stupid. That he had been so blind...

'_I just saw the way she looks at you, Jacob._'

Jacob screeched to a halt, at the sound of Edward's voice in his head, that aching pain taking over his anger. The two of them couldn't both be blind, right?

So then why had Leah reacted the way she did?

**_XXXXX_**

Leah walked as fast as she could along the sand, fighting the urge to look behind her. She was pretty sure that Jacob hadn't followed her, as she heard and felt nothing, but there was still that slight chance.

'_Don't,_' she told herself. '_Don't look back. Do not give him any incentive._'

She was so focused on that point that she did not notice a figure emerge from the water.

"Leah. Hey"

She glanced over, seeing Sam standing there, adorned in a wetsuit, with surfboard in hand. She let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "Fuck off, Sam."

He slammed the board into the sand so that it would stand upright. "Nice, Leah."

Leah threw her hands up, letting out a harsh laugh. "Yup, that's me. Nice Leah. Wonder why I don't hear that more often."

"Maybe you should refrain from telling people to fuck off."

"And maybe some people should take a damn hint and fuck off when they have been asked," Leah taunted. She was well aware that she was provoking him but she couldn't care less. She was in the mood for a fight.

"All right," Sam sighed. "I am going to bite. What is the problem?"

Leah's eyes narrowed as her fists clenched at her sides. "The problem? You want to know what my problem is? You are my fucking problem, Sam."

"Me? And what have I done now?"

"You screwed me over, Sam. You fucked me up. It's your fault that I am like this. It is your fault that I can't do anything fucking right. You, you, you! You have fucking ruined me!" she let out.

Sam stepped towards her. "Leah, don't say that about yourself. You are not—"

"Stop being so nice to me, Sam! Hate me, treat me like shit. Please," she paused, dragging her hands through her hair. "I don't want kindness; I just want everything the way it is supposed to be! Stop pretending that you care. Act as if you do not give a damn about me, because that is the way it should be. And that is the way I want it to stay."

Sam observed her silently, his eyes softening. "This isn't about me, is it, Leah?"

She looked up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not sure...but I am getting the feeling that this little tirade isn't really directed at me."

Leah inhaled deeply, shocked. They had been apart for so long, and yet, Sam still knew her so well. However, that wasn't what had surprised her. It was the fact that it no longer hurt to think that way.

"Look Leah," Sam continued. "I am not expecting you to tell me anything, but can I suggest something?" He paused, waiting until she nodded. "You gotta tell whoever it is. You cannot go around carrying that stuff on your shoulders. It will kill you one day."

Leah stared down at the sand, digging her hands deep in her pockets. There was something that she desperately wanted to ask Sam, but wasn't sure if she could.

"Well, I've gotta go," Sam started, grabbing his board. "You know where to find me if you need a sounding board. I owe you that much."

"Wait," Leah looked up.

"What?"

"Was it easy for you?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

Sam frowned slightly. "Was what easy?"

"Leaving."

Sam was silent, but Leah knew that he had understood the context of the question. Finally he spoke. "Leaving you was one of the hardest things I have ever done."

Leah blinked. "Even with the imprinting."

Sam sighed. "I fought it, you know. For several weeks." Leah looked at him, her expression confused. "After I imprinted, when I fell for Emily, I fought it. I had loved you and in some way I still did...like a sister, almost. I knew that it would hurt you and so I tried to ignore it. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hurt you...I didn't want to be that person."

"But in the end you couldn't fight anymore," Leah said.

Sam nodded slowly. "I was lying to you and I was lying to myself. It wasn't right."

Leah gave him a small smile. "Thanks for telling me...believe it or not, it's actually helped." She gestured towards the dunes. "You should go; I've kept you too long."

"Before I do, one thing," Sam said. "For you to react the way you just did, whoever he is, he's gotten to you. You are feeling some deep shit. I only hope that he can make you happy, Leah." He gave her one last smile before turning and walking away.

Leah stared after him. He was right. Jacob had gotten to her, big time. And the shit she was feeling...well, could she really admit to that?

'_No_,' she told herself. Her feelings were irrelevant. Nothing could ever evolve between her and Jacob. Nothing. She could not let that happen.

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob stayed in wolf form until the grey light of the day had started to fade into night. He made his way home, into their back yard and phased back. Inside he could hear several voices and cringed. Billy, Jared and Rachel. He was not in the mood for a family dinner. Instead of making his way inside, he grabbed a pair of shorts and t-shirt that were hanging on the clothesline. They were still slightly damp but he threw them on anyway and then walked away. He needed a visit to the clearing. He needed to clear his head.

Unfortunately, so did someone else.

Leah jumped up from her spot on the bank of the river when she saw him. "Jacob."

"Leah."

She was looking everywhere except him. "Um, I'm just gonna go. I've already been here a while. It's all yours," she said quietly, turning to leave.

Jacob felt another flash of anger. He was sick of doing things her way. "Yeah, that's right. Just walk away. That's what you do, right? When things don't go the way you want," he called out.

Leah whirled around, her expression twisted. "What are you so pissed about?"

"Hmm, I don't know Leah? How about you acting like a heinous bitch after I tell you that I care about you?"

"You don't really care about me. You only wanted to get involved with me because I was fucked up. I was just another project for you, cause that's what you like, don't you? You like 'em damaged because it's easier for you to move in that way. You just want to play the hero, Jacob Black and I hate to break it to you but I am no fucking damsel in distress."

"Get fucked, Leah."

"Well if you didn't go and screw everything up by opening your pathetic mouth we could be fucking right now, Jacob. But you took care of that, didn't you?"

Jacob took a step towards her. "Yeah, I opened my mouth but you are the one having the hissy fit. Just admit that you were scared for once- don't put all of the shit onto me. You are the one who is more to blame."

"Me? You are delusional," Leah laughed cruelly as Jacob moved even closer to her. She wanted to run away so much, but pride was keeping her planted in the spot. She was not going to let him tell her that she ran away from her problems again. _He _could be the one to fucking leave. "You create these emotions in your head, Jacob. You create your own interpretations of emotions and it is all just completely fucked up."

"Create?" Jacob hissed. "Fine then. If you think that it is all just in my imagination then tell me outright. Tell me that you feel absolutely nothing for me."

"I feel nothing for you," Leah replied, automatically, averting her eyes from his face. As she did this, she felt him grab her jaw, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Look me in the eye and tell me," he demanded.

Leah swatted his hand away. "Did Bella follow these types of orders? Huh? Do you have some secret domination fetish that I am not aware of?"

"Fuck Leah!" Jacob yelled, the volume of his voice making her jump. "Stop playing fucking mind games. Just look me in the eye and tell me that you feel nothing for me. Do that and this is all over."

"I won't," Leah replied stubbornly.

"Do it."

"No."

"Look at me and tell me I am nothing," Jacob's volume was increasingly getting louder.

"Fuck you, Jacob."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me you don't want me in your life," he roared.

"No!"

"Tell me that you don't think of those times we had together and wish that we were doing that right now. I could be touching you right now, Leah. Tell me that you don't want to feel that."

"NO!"

"Why fucking not?" Jacob demanded.

"Because I can't! I can't do that," Leah let out, and then took a step back. In saying nothing she had just told him everything. And that was going make this so much harder.

"Then why are you fighting this, Leah? Why are you pushing me away?" Jacob sounded completely desperate. It took all of Leah's willpower not to take him into her arms. "Why are you stopping this from happening? Don't you want to be happy? We can be happy together. Why are you doing—"

"Because you are a werewolf who hasn't imprinted!" Leah yelled. Jacob stared at her in silence, his expression softening. All that Leah could hear were her own elevated breaths and the trickling of nearby water.

It felt like an eternity before Jacob spoke. "Leah, I—"

"Don't Jacob. It doesn't matter what we feel. I am not going to put myself in the position to be hurt again. I am not going to allow myself to become a victim again. I want to have some mediocre of control over my life."

"Leah, I would never hurt you," Jacob said. "You have to know that."

Leah nodded. "Sam would have never deliberately hurt me either. But he did."

"So you are throwing everything away on the very slim chance that I could imprint. You're a wolf too, Leah. Do you hear me worrying about you going off and imprinting?"

"You should be considering that, Jacob. You've been hurt in your past as well. We have both been hurt badly and we should learn from that. We should be smart enough to do as much as we can to prevent that hurt from ever happening again."

Jacob exhaled loudly. "Shutting yourself off from life is one hell of a prevention method, Leah."

Leah crossed her arms across her chest. "I am taking my own advice, Jacob. This is my action. This is me taking control. I am not going to let us get hurt again. Deep down you know that I am right."

Jacob moved away from her. "And what? You feel no hurt now?" There was a deep bitterness lacing the edges of his voice.

"Jacob, you need to shut up now," she said. "There is no discussing this. I have made my decision and you need to accept that."

Jacob stared at her hard, and Leah waited for his response. Waited for another argument that she had to rebuke. But he said nothing. He just turned and walked away.

Leah could not help but think he was walking away for good. However, she did not feel relieved by that thought.

She only felt fear.


	11. Change

**A/N: **Ok, so after the events of the previous chapter, I am little apprehensive of posting this one. The drama level is not quite up, but the final section does push the story forward slightly (I hope...)  
I am not sure whether I have stated this before, but I have this fic planned right till the end- I know exactly what is going to happen. The reason I am saying this is that while this chapter may seem like a filler on the surface, all events play an important part in the development of Leah and Jacob. Am I rambling, I feel like I am rambling?

As I do always, thank you to everyone who read this fic, added it to their favourites etc. And an extra special gigantic thank you to those who reviewed this fic. To show my appreciation, I am sending you all two weeks worth of school holidays (which, after this week, I will have and cannot wait!). A part of me feels like that I am getting repetitive at the start of these chapters, with the thank yous. But there is no way that I cannot show my appreciation to you guys. Feedback is what feeds my hunger to write and I love that some of you care enough to let me know what you think. You all will be getting some sizable doses of good karma, I promise you that.

Right, I have waffled on enough. Please, go on, read and let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Rootless Tree_- Damien Rice, _Rain Falls for Wind_- The Sleepy Jackson, _Monument_- Gyroscope, _Learn To Live With What You Are_- Ben Folds.

* * *

One...two...three....four...Jacob concentrated on counting his footsteps as he ran as fast as he could away from Leah. He needed to get as far away from her as possible before he did something that he would regret. Before he let the fury inside unleash and screamed at her all the things that he wanted to say...no matter how embarrassing they were. He didn't want to do that to her...

'_No, fuck her_,' he thought viciously, jogging to a stop. He should have screamed, he should have yelled. Leah had basically admitted that she felt the same way as him. She had dangled that bait in front of him, made him feel hope for that one fleeting moment and then ripped it away. Took it away because she was too fucking scared.

'_She did have a valid reason..._' Jacob unceremoniously shoved those thoughts aside. At this point in time he honestly could not give a shit. What the two of them had been through, what the two of them had done for each other, well...It obviously was not enough for Leah. She had been able to stand there and calmly tell him that there was nothing further to talk about. That she was just going to walk away, turn her back on something that could have been...

'_Could have been what? You have no idea of what was going to happen between the two of you. The two of you may have been close, but you have never been intimate. Who is say that you would have even lasted? The two of have the potential to be amazing, but on the other hand, there is a very good chance that you would be a complete and utter disaster.'_

Jacob squeezed his eyes shut, trying hard to ignore that damned voice of reason in his head. He did not care that the future was unclear. Wasn't the whole point of taking a chance? You have no idea on how things were going to turn out, but you take the leap anyway? What would your life be like if you never took a fucking leap? You would be living in fear of the what if...living the way that Leah had decided to. That was no way to live, and yet Leah had just forced that upon him.

"Fuck you, Leah!" Jacob screamed at the top of his lungs, the effort ripping through his throat. He had never felt this angry- ever. "Fuck you. Fuck you! FUCK YOU!" He let loose, slamming a fist into the closest tree. The force splintered the trunk, sending branches crashing to the ground. Jacob glanced down at his hand and could only blink. His skin had split open and was oozing a bright red blood, but he felt nothing. No pain, no sting, nothing. He tried straightening his fingers, but found it difficult to do so. They were probably broken, but he just shrugged it off. They would heal soon anyway. Hell, he had survived a new born attack, hadn't he? He glanced behind him, wondering if Leah was still at the clearing. Or had she left? He decided that he didn't care. It was the caring that had caused this reaction. Instead, he turned and walked in the direction of his house.

Unfortunately for him, Billy was seated in the living room when he walked in, and it took him all of two seconds to notice.

"What happened to your hand?" Billy asked, wheeling himself towards his son. Worried concern was written all over his face.

"I fell over," Jacob replied, his tone deadpan.

Billy raised his eyebrows. He didn't buy Jacob's story for a second, but thankfully he did not push it. "I am going to call Dr. Cullen. You need to have that looked at."

Jacob groaned. "Dad, no. It's fine."

"Those fingers look broken. You know how fast you heal. If they are not set properly eating with a knife and fork will become an interesting experience for you."

Jacob sighed. "Fine. I'll be in my room. Send Dr. Fang in when he gets here."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah tried hard to swallow the overwhelming feeling of fear as she sunk to the ground. She pulled her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. What had she just done?

The look on Jacob's face as he turned and walked away was burned on her mind. The enormity of what she had just done was just starting to sink in and it was causing a tightening in her chest. She closed her eyes, playing through her thoughts of the last time she and Jacob had been together. The look in his eyes, the touch of his hand on her skin, his breath in her ear...Had she really just walked away from that?

It was more than just the physical side of things. Jacob knew what she was like. Knew that consistent was not an adjective that somebody would use to describe her. He knew that she was damaged, and to some degree, understood what that felt like. And still, with all that knowledge, he still wanted to be with her.

It had taken so much on her behalf not to fall into his arms and tell him that she wanted that as well. But she couldn't. If she had done that, they would have both lived to regret the decision. She needed to be strong for both of them. Life had dealt them a hand and she had figure out how to live with that. Events within the pack had proven that imprinting was not as rare as originally thought. Jacob was angry at the moment, furious at her, but he would eventually understand her decision. When he finally met that normal girl- a girl who could be with him without any fear, a girl who was not damaged goods, a girl who truly deserved to be with him- Jacob would understand. He would thank her for making this decision for the both of them.

Leah brushed furiously at the tears that had started to trickle down her cheek. Hopefully, one day she would be able to thank herself as well.

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob sat in stony silence as Carlisle cleaned the wounds on his hand. In the time that it had taken the doctor to arrive, Jacob had finally begun to experience a sharp pain spreading throughhis hand. As much as he hated to admit, Carlisle's icy skin actually helped ease it.

"So," Carlisle started, conversationally, "Billy said that you fell over."

"Yup."

"So, do you care to explain the bark fragments that I just cleaned out of these cuts?" the doctor asked, a faint smile playing on his lips. "And the traces of sap that I can smell?"

"I fell," Jacob replied stubbornly. "Into a tree. I never said anything about falling to the ground."

"Right," Carlisle nodded. "So, did you happen to extend your arm out to help break this fall?"

Jacob eyed him for a few seconds. "Maybe. It's a typical human reaction, right?"

"Typically. But usually people have their palms out flat. They do not tend to go with a fist," Carlisle replied, his tone light.

Jacob exhaled loudly. "Do you have some freaky mind reading trick like Edward that you have just kept quiet from all of us?"

"Kind of," Carlisle replied and then laughed at the confused expression on Jacob's face. "After a few hundred years of practicing medicine, I can usually confidently ascertain the origin of an injury."

Jacob eyed Carlisle warily as he went about attached a white plastic hand splint, waiting for him to start questioning. But it didn't happen. "What? You're not going to ask me why I went all Karate Kid on a tree."

Carlisle shrugged. "It is really none of my business. What is my business is your physical health. So, do not remove this splint. You will only have to wear it a short while, so we need to ensure that your fingers heal correctly. You know what it feels like to have your bones re-broken and I am certain that you do not want to have to go through that again."

"Is that it?" Jacob asked.

Carlisle nodded, gathering his belongings. "But a piece of medical advice before I leave?" Jacob nodded. "Invest in a punching bag. We should all do out bit to help the environment, right?"

Jacob allowed himself a smile as Carlisle exited his bedroom. But it didn't last long. The dull ache in his hand reminded him why he had ended up in this position.

Was it wrong of him to react in this way? Should he just respect Leah's wishes and go on with it? But then what about his wishes? What about what he wanted? They were meant to be together, he was certain of it.

Sure, he believed a short time ago that he was meant to be with Bella. He wasn't going to deny that. He had cared a great deal for her, but this was different. He and Leah, they _fit _together. They understood each other. They could talk without pretence and he loved to listen to her acid tongue.

And then she had to go and fucking reason her way out being with him.

The walls of his room felt as if they were closing in on him, making him feel claustrophobic. Standing up, he made his way and towards the kitchen.

"Jake."

He turned and saw Billy wheeling himself towards him. "What?"

"What made you do it?" he asked, glancing at Jacob's hand.

"So, Dr. Fang is breaking doctor patient confidentiality now?"

Billy shook his head. "No, I overheard the two of you talking. What made you want to do that? Did you have an argument with Bella?"

"What makes you automatically go to Bella, dad?" Jacob asked, fighting to keep his voice controlled. "Believe it or not, my decisions are not always connected to her. In fact, I have not spoken to her in some time, dad. She is nowhere near my radar at the moment, dad."

"Then would you care to enlighten as to why you are causing yourself harm?"

"No, dad, I don't," Jacob replied bluntly, heading towards the back door.

"Fine then, Jacob. Wallow in whatever is going on in your head," Billy yelled back. "But keep this in mind. If you continue to behave in this way, shutting everybody out, then you are going to end up sad and alone. I love you- you are my son, but don't expect that everyone else will."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah hesitated at the kitchen doorway, watching Sue at the bench, preparing vegetables for that night's dinner.

"Mum."

Sue jumped slightly, looking up. "Oh, Leah. You surprised me."

"Sorry," Leah made her way in. "Do you have time to talk?"

"I've always got time to talk with my daughter," Sue replied. "What is on your mind tonight?"

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," Leah said, her voice quiet.

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything that I have put you through since Sam. I was such a heinous bitch and it wasn't fair."

Sue placed the knife down and turned to face her daughter. "Leah, you do not need to apologise—"

"Yes, I do," Leah interjected firmly. "I have carried this with me for far too long and I had no right to take it out on everyone around me. Especially you, of all people. You have been through much worse hell than me. I mean, I got dumped, you lost your husband. Even after that, you put up with me. You put me first and that was not fair of me."

"Leah," Sue gently placed a palm on her cheek, "I was not putting up with you. I was there for you because I only wanted you to be happy. That is all a mother wants for a child."

"Yeah, well I certainly tested that theory," Leah replied, wryly. "And now I need to turn things around for myself, and that is why I am apologising. Do you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive—"

"Oh yeah?" Leah said, raising an eyebrow. "What about my whole being stuck here as a wife and mother spiel? That was pushing it a bit too far. Will you forgive me for saying that?"

Sue let out a small chuckle. "Ok, I will forgive you for those comments, even though that I knew that you did intend to hurt me with them."

"Mum," Leah let out exasperatedly. "You really can be a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"Of course. Who do you think you get it from, my dear?"

"Touché," Leah laughed. "But I meant what I said. I really want to start taking some control of my life and changing things for the better."

"Do you know how proud it makes me feel when I hear you talking like that, Leah?" Sue said. "I know that you can do this. I really do."

"Yeah, well, that's something else that I need to talk to you about? The whole making a change thing. I am trying so hard to figure out the person that I want to be. I need to do that before making any changes, but I am not sure how to do that. While the reservation is my home, everybody here has their own opinions of me, their own expectations. I can't help but feel like that is a whole heap of pressure on me that I don't need."

Sue's expression had fallen slightly. "Leah, what are you saying?"

"I am saying that I need to get away from here. If I am going to get some perspective, then I need to leave."


	12. Risk

**A/N: **Ok, so I did plan to have this up a few days eariler, but real life got in the way. The usual with work etc, but I also got a little distracted by the new Regina Spektor album. It is amazing by the way, and I recommend it to you all.

So, thank you to all those who have been reading this fic and to those who continue to add this story to their favourites etc. And once again my grossly inadequete thank you to all those who took the time to review this fic. We broke 100 reviews with the last chapter, which was a real little 'Woohoo" moment for me. This achievement may seem small compared to some other fics, but I love my little base of followers. You are a small but loyal bunch, and I love every single one of you. This fic is, of course, for you. After all, who else would I be writing it for? :)

Anyway, look at this, I have managed to control myself with this note. I wonder why? I guess I am eager for you read the events of this chapter...  
Let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Lullaby- _Sia, _Cologne_- Ben Folds, _Wait_- Get Set Go_, [explain]-_Sarah Blasko

* * *

Sue's expression had fallen slightly. "Leah, what are you saying?"

"I am saying that I need to get away from here. If I am going to get some perspective, then I need to leave." Leah paused, her eyes meeting her mother's. Sue's face looked absolutely stricken. "Mum?"

"Where...where are you going to go?" Sue asked. "And for how long? How long will it be before I get to see you again? I mean, I am not going to stop you, but this is coming as a bit of a surprise."

Leah stared at her mother, as she ran over her own words in her head. "Mum, I am not going to run away to the other side of the world. When I said leave...I meant leaving the reservation, going to stay in town for a bit."

Sue's jaw dropped slightly as she let out a relieved sigh. "Well, would you care to rephrase slightly in the future. You had me thinking of a huge prolonged absence!"

Leah could not help but let out a sheepish giggle. "Sorry mum...I guess I can't help but to cause dramas, hey?"

"That does seem to be a trait of yours," Sue replied. "So, where do you plan on staying?"

"I've spoken to Seth. I am going to stay with him for a few days."

Sue cocked her head to the side, confused. "Stay with Seth? At the Cullen's?" She reached across, placing a hand across Leah's forehead. "Ok- who are you are and what have you done with my daughter?"

Leah swatted her hand away. "Your comedy styling's have my sides splitting, mum. It's just convenient, that's all. Seth said that most of them would be out on a hunting trip anyway. It'll only be Bella, Edward and the spawn."

"Don't call Nessie that....You're really serious about this?"

Leah nodded. "It's quiet, out of the way, but still nearby if I need to get back here for any reason. I miss Seth- it'll be good to spend some time with him. And as for Bella and Edward, well they're so wrapped in the rainbows and sunshine that is their life now, that I will barely register on their radar. It's actually kind of perfect....as long as I can live with the stench."

Sue shrugged, a smile forming on her face. "Well, it sounds as if you have everything figured out. When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning," Leah said and then paused, chewing her bottom lip.

"Ok," Sue said, placing a hand on her hip. "I know that look. What do you want?"

"Can I borrow the car?"

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob walked along the side of the road, kicking up gravel with every step. He had woken up that morning, still feeling furious. When he couldn't find the remote to the television, he had decided to take it out on the living room wall- with his foot this time. Billy had told him to leave and return to the house only when he was ready to act like a respectful human being.

It made Jacob feel rotten to the core to see the expression on Billy's face, but for some reason that was not enough to stop him from lashing out at every tiny thing. Because the fury festering inside of him was the much better option.

Hearing voices up ahead, he raised his head. When he saw the direction his aimless meandering had taken him he had to laugh. Leah was walking down her driveway, Sue by her side. She reached the car which was parked on the side of the street and it was only then that Jacob saw the large bag in her hand.

He watched as Leah open the boot and threw the bag in. She then turned towards Sue, wrapping her mother in a tight hug.

"You take care," he heard Sue say. "You can call whenever you want- night or day. You know that, right?"

Even though her face was partially obscured, Jacob could tell that Leah was rolling her eyes. "Jeez mum, why don't you just come out and ask for the half hourly updates you know you really want?"

"Ok then, cheeky. Don't forget, that's my car you're going to be driving off in."

Leah leaned up, placing a kiss on her Sue's cheek. "I love you, mum."

"I love you, too," Sue patted her softly on her arm. "You should get going."

With a nod, Leah walked around to other side of the car. As she grasped he handle on the driver's side door, she glanced up, her eyes meeting Jacob.

He just stared at her, willing her to come over. Wanting her to explain. Wanting her to tell him that she was simply taking a bag full of clothes to the dry cleaners. Wanting her to tell him that she wasn't leaving...because of him.

But she didn't. Without a smile, without a wave, she opened the door and climbed into the car. And then, with a roar of the engine and a spray of gravel and dust, she was gone.

Leah was gone. She had left, without even a word of good bye. She had well and truly let go of any possibility of the two of them. She was gone.

Jacob turned abruptly on his heel, walking back in the direction of his house. He was not yet ready to meet Billy's terms, but his father's demands had only been limited to the house. Jacob needed a place to think. One of his escapes had now been tainted by her, but there was somewhere else he could go.

It did not take Jacob long to get home, and he headed straight to his garage. It had been a long time since he had been in there, before Bella and Edward's wedding in fact. Too damn long. He walked in, inhaling the familiar scent of grease and fuel. He looked at his trust Rabbit and his hands itched. He needed to work something. He needed to fix something. He needed something to keep his occupied. Without a second thought, he grabbed his tools and lifted the bonnet. If he pulled the engine apart, going through every mechanism, he would surely find something he could fix. And if he didn't, well the project would be enough to keep him occupied for a long time to come.

Something to keep him distracted so that he would not have to think about Leah...

Exhaling loudly, Jacob slumped against the side of the car. He needed to stop this. He needed to take control...he had to start to let go.

Leah had obviously let the two of them go, and now he needed to so the same thing. She was obviously moving on and he could do the same thing, right?

He had to...after all, the decision had already been made for him, right?

**_XXXXX_**

"Here you go."

Leah took the steaming mug from Seth, as he sat next to her on the steps of the front porch. "Thanks," she took a sip, wincing as the hot liquid hit her tongue. "Ouch."

Seth chuckled. "Well, you're the one who insists on no milk."

"Wow, it is no nice to get so much sympathy from a loved one," Leah retorted, reaching out and shoving him slightly.

"Yeah, well I reckon you might get a little more if you actually spoke to your loved ones," Seth said.

"I was only asking for my poor tongue, nothing else, Seth," Leah replied, lightly as she placed the mug down on a lower step to cool down.

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Leah, you said absolutely nothing yesterday and last night. Are you really not going to tell me why you're here?"

"I told you why- I felt like a break."

"A break from what? It must be something pretty desperate for you to come back here. You hated being here last time. Will you please talk to me?"

Leah looked at him, a warm smile on her face. "Seth, I don't need to talk. I really don't. I am doing fine- and I know that you know that, because mum would have called you as soon as I left to get your side of things."

Seth's expression was a picture of innocence. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh please, Seth. The two of you gossip like old women! How oblivious do you think I am? I am very well aware that I am a favourite topic between the two of you."

Seth coughed. "We talk because we care."

Leah let out a snort of laughter. "Is that your official motto?"

"Yeah," Seth grinned. "We are in the process of getting it copyrighted and—" he cut off as the front door opened behind them. They turned to see Bella standing there.

"Uh, Seth, Nessie is asking for you," she said.

"Right," Seth jumped up immediately and Leah could not help but make whipping motions with her hand, along with some sound effects. Seth responded by laughing and flipping her the bird, before running into the house.

Leah turned back around, ready to enjoy some time alone, outside. Seth had been a little too watchful since her arrival at the house yesterday. But then, Leah realised that she had thought too soon. Bella did not return to the house as she had expected, but instead sat down on the stairs as well.

Leah stared at her incredulously. As an unspoken agreement between the two of them, they spent as little amount of time in each other's presence. Only unavoidable group circumstances- never, never, never just the two of them.

"What are you doing?" Leah blurted out.

Bella looked over, her expression telling Leah that she was just as happy about this situation as her. "Do you want to talk?" She spoke as if someone else were forcing the words out.

Leah laughed loudly. "You want to talk to me? What sort of freaking bizarro world have I arrived in?"

"No," Bella denied vehemently. "I do not want to talk to you."

"Then what the hell are you doing out here?" Leah demanded.

Bella exhaled loudly. "Edward has been pestering me ever since you have arrived, telling me that I should talk to you."

Leah's eyes narrowed, as understanding dawned on her. She had been working hard to keep Jacob out of her mind since arriving her, but that doesn't mean that she hadn't slipped. And if Jacob had seen him any time recently. "What the fuck did he tell you?"

Bella blinked. "He hasn't told me anything. I know that he knows something about you, but he refuses to tell. But he seems to think that I might have some sort of understanding...can't think what, though," she added, under her breath.

"So he told you nothing?"

"Nope," Bella sighed, and then looked at Leah out of the corner of her eye. "But I'm assuming that it's Sam related."

"Oh really. A little bit presumptuous, don't you think?"

Bella shrugged. "Not really. It's been affecting you for so long, it would be really hard to let that go."

"So darling Eddie really told you nothing," Leah spat, knowing that Bella had been baiting her to spill her guts. But she really did not care. "He really said nothing about the fact that Jacob and I have been fucking each other since Sam and Emily's wedding?"

Bella's eyes widened considerably. "What?"

"Yup. Do you remember that day at the beach, when I went out into the water to help him, after your sunshine and roses routine? Had his cock in my hand the entire time."

Bella stared at Leah, her jaw dropped slightly. She did this for several long moments before bursting into a loud, raucous laughter. "Oh my god," she managed to gasp out.

"So glad that you find me so hilarious," Leah said dryly.

"No," Bella shook her head, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I just...it's just...I really wasn't expecting to hear that when I came out here. Jeez, Leah, never knew that you were such an open person." With that, she dropped her head into her hands, breaking into another round of laughter.

Leah watched Bella's body convulsing and, thinking back to what she had said, soon found herself joining in. The laughing felt good. It had been a long time since she had felt that joyful ache in the pit of her stomach.

"So...so..." Bella let out breathlessly, slowly beginning to gain control of herself. "Is that how you broke the news to Sue?"

Leah shook her head. "Nobody knows."

"Oh..." Bella sighed, running a hand through her hair. "You and Jacob...you and Jacob," she muttered, almost to herself. "You and Jacob....Jacob and you..."

"What?" Leah was suddenly defensive. "Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Well, yeah," Bella replied and Leah let out another snort of laughter. She did have a point. "But," Bella continued, "thinking about it, the two of you are kind of perfect...in a weird—" she glanced at Leah— "freaking bizarro world kind of way."

Leah stiffened, the after effects of the laughter evaporating from her body. "Yeah, well, us being perfect is completely irrelevant."

The smile on Bella's face slowly dropped. "That's why you're here," she said, softly. "Because of Jacob?"

Leah nodded. "Bingo."

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Surprisingly, Leah felt that she did. She had never been able to talk about Jacob to anybody. As much as she and Bella did not get along, she was all that was on offer at the moment, and so Leah told her everything. From Sam and Emily's wedding to Jacob opening up and her breaking everything off.

"And so, I just needed some time away from the reservation, hence, me being here."

"Hang on a second," Bella held up a hand, her expression slightly confused. "Why did you break it off- you said that there was no way it could work between the two of you. What does that even mean? If you truly believed that, you wouldn't need to be here."

"Regardless of how we feel, it never would work."

"But how can you say that without giving it a go?"

Leah sighed. "Imprinting."

Understanding dawned on Bella's face. "You don't want it to end up like it did with Sam," she said.

Leah nodded. "The possibility of being hurt- it was too much of a risk."

Bella was silent as she contemplated her thoughts. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you regret the time you spent with Sam?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that you got burned at the end, but do you regret everything that happened before that? If you could go back, would you change your path with Sam entirely?"

Leah tucked her knees up under her chin. "I've never thought about it like that. To me, the end defined everything. That is kind of what I have been focusing on."

"The reason I ask is...well, I am not claiming to have a complete understanding of what you have been through, but I did feel it somewhat when Edward left."

Leah raised her eyebrows in surprise, but did not say anything. She had completely forgotten about that. Her mind flashed to the images that Sam had shared with them, one of Bella curled up on the forest floor.

"Now, when that happened I completely lost it," Bella was saying. "It was ridiculous what I did to myself...but after some time I got to a point where, even though I had allowed myself to hurt so much, I could appreciate the time that we had had together. To me, it was better to have had and lost, than to never have had it to begin with."

"But you got him in the end, Bella. Imprinting means that I lose him forever. No chance whatsoever."

"I understand that. But at that point, I truly believed that I had lost Edward too and even though I was hurting, I would not have given up our time together for anything. The simple fact is, life means risks, Leah. You can take measures to protect yourself from everything, but in the long run, that is not a life that anybody should live. If you don't take risks, then all you will be doing is looking back on regrets. You need to take this risk or you will lose him from your life entirely."

Leah looked across at her. "Why are you doing this for me? Why do you even care?"

A sad smile crossed Bella's face. "Jacob's my friend. I may not be a part of his life at the moment, but I will always want to see him happy. And I think you can do that."

"And what about me? What about my happiness?" Leah asked.

Bella shrugged. "You'll never know unless you make that leap."

_**XXXXX**_

"Fuck!" Jacob let out as the wrench slipped, causing him jerk forward, cutting his thumb on an engine part. He ripped his hand out, shoving his thumb in his mouth and sucking. It was the third time he had done that, today alone and he was more than ready for a snap. "Fucking fucker fuck!" he yelled, kicking out at the tyre.

"Jacob."

He whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice, convinced that he had progressed to hallucinations. But no, Leah really was standing in the entry to the garage.

"I thought you left," he said, his tone blank.

"I just went to stay with Seth for a few days," she replied, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.

"Oh."

She cleared her throat. "Can we talk?"

Jacob snorted. "Look Leah, you have done enough talking for the both of us lately. I really don't want to hear what you have to say anymore. Just go away." He turned back to the engine of the Rabbit.

"I was wrong."

He glanced over his shoulder. "What?"

Leah took a hesitant step forward. "I was wrong. It was a mistake to walk away."

"Leah," Jacob closed his eyes. "I can't play your games anymore."

"I am not playing. My reasoning was that I didn't want to get hurt...well, I'm hurting now so there goes my fucking logic."

Jacob turned slowly, trying to process her words. "Leah, what the fuck are you saying?"

She took another step forward. "I am saying that I don't want to look back and have regrets. I want to look back and remember whatever we might have."

"Have? Not had?" Jacob questioned and Leah gave him a short nod. "What do you want from me?"

Leah drew in a deep breath, preparing to lay it all on the table. "I want you to forgive me for running and say that you are willing to give us a chance."

Jacob stood, his dark brown eyes boring into her and Leah felt a fist of fear seize her stomach. What if she had left this too late? What if she had well and truly ruined everything between the two of them?

But then his eyes softened, and he raised his arms in an offer. With relief washing over her, Leah closed the distance between them, pressing herself into his chest and allowing herself to be enveloped by his safe and warm embrace.

She was very well aware that this may one of the craziest decisions she would ever make, but she did not care.

It was a risk they both had to take.


	13. Sigh

**A/N: **Wow, the response I got for the last chapter was the best yet. I guess that is what happens when I stop torturing my characters, and give them a little bit of relief. I have to say, though, that I found this chapter really difficult to write (hence the slight dely). I guess I just find it so much easier to write the angst...which I have to wonder what that says about me as a person :)

As usual, I want to thank everyone who has been reading this story, adding it to their favs etc. But, of course, nothing tops those wonderful, incredible, fantastic people who take the time to review and let me know what they are thinking. It may seem small, but you truly are amazing. I cannot thank you enough for the support you have been giving to me.

On the note of reviews, a question was raised about whether the previous chapter was the final one. I did think when I wrote it that it had a tone of finality about it and so I want to let you all know that there is still a lot of story to tell. At this stage I have planned up to 26 chapters, and there will still be several more after that (the numbers keep changing as I keep tweaking with content- I know how this story will play out until the end- its the little things that keep getting altered). So, keep with me and I hope that you enjoy the ride.

**Music: **_Razor- _Foo Fighters, _Fall For You_- The Whitlams, _Out and In_- Kate Miller-Heidke.

* * *

"_Have? Not had?" Jacob questioned and Leah gave him a short nod. "What do you want from me?"_

_Leah drew in a deep breath, preparing to lay it all on the table. "I want you to forgive me for running and say that you are willing to give us a chance."_

_Jacob stood, his dark brown eyes boring into her and Leah felt a fist of fear seize her stomach. What if she had left this too late? What if she had well and truly ruined everything between the two of them?_

_But then his eyes softened, and he raised his arms in an offer. With relief washing over her, Leah closed the distance between them, pressing herself into his chest and allowing herself to be enveloped by his safe and warm embrace._

_She was very well aware that this may one of the craziest decisions she would ever make, but she did not care._

_It was a risk they both had to take._

Leah closed her eyes as she pressed herself closer to Jacob's chest. She inhaled deeply as she felt his lips on the top of her head. "Jake," she murmured quietly.

He brushed his lips across her ear. "What?"

"I'm...I'm not going to run any more, but...I'm scared."

Jacob kissed the top of her head once more, before pulling her down to sit on the floor beside him. Wrapping an arm around her, he leaned the two of them back against the front wheel of the Rabbit. "Tell me everything. Why did you leave?"

"I just needed to figure things out. I thought it was all about me, about who I wanted to be. Somebody got me to see otherwise."

Jacob chuckled. "So the younger brother proves himself to be wiser than his older sibling."

Leah could not help but smile. "Nope. Seth had nothing to do with this."

Jacob looked down at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Did Edward do the whole mind reading thing?"

"Sort of. But no, it wasn't him," Leah replied, thoroughly enjoying the look of confusion on his face.

"Then who...oh god. Please do not tell me that it was the blonde. Because then I will only see this as part of some evil plan on her behalf. What does she want? What have the two of you planned? I won't fall for it—"

"Jake!" Leah cut him off, placing her hand on his chest. "It was Bella."

Jacob stared at her blankly. "Ha ha. Very funny."

"No, I'm serious. I told her everything and she actually helped. Made me see that living for the present was a hell of a lot better than living for the what if."

Jacob's jaw had dropped slightly. "Shut the fuck up." He shifted slightly. "So what...are you two like, _friends_ now?"

"Oh hell no," Leah laughed. "I don't think that I will ever be able to make that much progress- ever. How about we just call this an uneasy truce?"

"Oh thank god," Jacob sighed with relief. "That would have just been too much to take. Scary even...Stepford wife scary."

"Jacob."

He looked her in the eyes. "What?"

"Shut up," she murmured, fisting his t-shirt and pulling his lips down to hers. Jacob did not argue with her demand and responded eagerly, running his tongue along her bottom lip before pushing into her mouth. Leah groaned as she curled her tongue around his and shifted herself so that she could press herself closer to him. She had missed Jacob's touch, but this was different. For the first time she was truly letting herself go and opening herself up to him.

She snaked an arm around the back of his neck as the kiss grew deeper. She felt Jacob run his hands down her back, and then up underneath her top.

When air became necessary, Jacob pulled back, keeping his lips resting against hers. "Leah," he whispered, his breath tickling her.

"Hmm?"

"I think we should go inside."

Leah cocked her head. "But what about your dad?"

"He's at Charlie Swan's. There is a game on tonight. That means beer and Billy crashing on his couch."

"You mean to say that there is a completely empty house only a few feet away, Jacob Black, and you have me sitting on the filthy floor of your garage?"

He grinned, raising an eyebrow. "I like my girls dirty."

Leah slapped his chest and then made to pull away. "Fine then. _Your _girl is walking away then."

Jacob reached out, grabbing her hand and holding it tight. "Don't," he said, his expression and tone completely serious. "I know that you are joking, but you can't say that to me. You just can't."

The look on his face made Leah's heart skip a beat. "I won't," she said, using her free hand to caress his cheek. "I promise."

"Come on," Jacob said standing up, and pulling her with him. He did not let go of her hand until they had entered the house and made their way into his room. As he dropped her hand and turned to look at her, the air between them suddenly felt thicker.

"Uh," Jacob glanced down at himself, spotting his hands which were covered in oil and grease. After the day in the garage he also felt grimy and disgusting. "I should probably clean up. I won't be long. Make yourself comfortable."

Leah nodded mutely as he left the room. A few moments later she heard the shower running in the bathroom across the hall. She turned around slowly, on the spot, looking around Jacob's room, but not really taking his belongings in. The enormity of what she had just done was making a screaming appearance in her head. The fears that had sent her running in the first place were doing all they could to get her to listen to them, to get her to leave again.

Leah closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was not going to do this to herself anymore. She was not going to let the negativity rule her anymore. It did not matter. All that mattered at this point in time was increasing fluttering in the pit of her stomach and the person who was only a few metres away.

In the shower...naked...

Though she had made no conscious decision, Leah began moving in the direction of the bathroom across the hall. With a slight hesitation, she pushed the door open. The steam filling the room made the air thick, and when she caught sight of the tall silhouette behind the shower glass, Leah felt her breath catch in her throat. Silently, she stripped off her clothes and then stepped towards the shower recess and slowly opened the door.

Jacob turned around, wiping water off his face. As his eyes gazed directly at her, occasionally darting down her body, Leah suddenly felt anxious. In all the times that she and Jacob had been together, she had rarely been completely naked. She had never felt quite so vulnerable.

But then, Jacob reached out, clasping her hand and pulling her close to him. Leah moved her free hand behind her to slide the door shut, before circling it around his waist. His body was slick and warm from the steaming water that was pounding both of them. As she ran a hand down his chest, she felt all the tension inside of her melt away, allowing her to focus completely on only one thing.

Jacob brought his hand up under her chin, tilting her head upwards so that he could press his lips into hers. Leah did not hesitate with her response, opening her mouth so that she could push her tongue into his. The kiss deepened to the point of almost being desperate. Leah clasped her hands around Jacob's neck, holding his lips to hers, not wanting it to stop- ever.

With a groan that originated from deep within his throat, Jacob turned them so that he could press Leah up against the wall of the shower. The chill of the tiles sent a shock down her spine, right to her core and she gasped out loud. Instinctively, she thrust her hips forward, feeling Jacob's hardness press into her stomach.

Jacob's broke away from hers as he trailed a length down her neck, and back up towards her ear. "Fuck," he whispered before gently sucking on her lobe. "You have no idea what you do to me."

With a soft laugh, Leah trailed a hand down his chest and stomach before grasping his erection. "I think I have some idea."

"And what about you?" Jacob asked, flicking a tongue in her ear. "What effect do I have on you?"

Leah pushed him back slightly, so that she could look him in the eyes. "The only effect you are having right now is me wondering why the hell you are not inside me already."

Jacob inhaled sharply, before hoisting her up by the waist. "What about now?" he asked, as he slid himself into her. Leah could only moan as she wrapped her legs around him. As he started to move, she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, allowing herself to be overcome by the sensation of him filling her.

"No," Jacob's voice broke through. "Open your eyes. Look at me."

Leah did so, tightening her grip around his neck as he began to increase his pace. The glass chamber was soon filled with their moans and sighs that punctuated each thrust. Jacob had one arm tight around Leah's waist and another palm flat on the wall, trying to keep them stable. Leah pulled her legs tighter around him, wanting them as close as possible, wanting to feel absolutely everything. His gaze had not broken from hers and Leah realised that the look in his eyes was the same as the last fateful time they had been together. That last time the look had made her stomach turn, had made her run. But now it filled her with a content happiness that only added to the physical effects of Jacob's body in hers.

"Jake..." she sighed, lowering one of her legs, causing Jacob's angle inside if her to change slightly and hit a new spot. "Fuck...yes...Jake...there...yes..."

Jacob thrust his hips hard, plunging deeper in her. He could not believe that this was happening. He had all but given up, and now Leah was here, wrapped around him, looking at him as if she wanted to be able to do this for the rest of her life.

"Jake...ugh...oh...yes...fuck...Jake...Jake..." she sighed and moaned, pushing her hips out to meet his every thrust. "Yes...yes...oh..." he felt her tightening around him as she began to writhe more frantically. Seconds later she cried out, throwing her head back. "Jake..." she brought her head forward, pressing her mouth into his ear. "Don't stop...keep going..." she rotated her hips. "Your turn."

Jacob buried his head in the crook of her neck, thrusting into her as deeply as he could. It took only a few seconds for him to reach his peak. He let out a loud guttural moan just before he let himself go and then crushed his lips onto Leah's, wanting to taste her as well as feel her.

And though they were both spent, neither made an attempt to move, wanting to stay that way, connected, and savour the moment for as long as possible.

**_XXXXX_**

Leah was awake, but she did not want to open her eyes. Instead she pressed herself closer to the warm body next to hers, willing herself to go back to sleep. But, as usual, once she was awake there was no getting back to sleep.

With a sigh, she opened her eyes, and found Jacob staring down at her. "Morning," she murmured.

"Hmm..." Jacob replied. "You look like you slept well."

She nodded. "Yeah. It was kind of weird, but I totally crashed. I guess that's what happens when you are completely exhausted."

Jacob's brow furrowed. "Weird? What the fuck?"

Leah laughed, propping herself up on her elbow. "Oh come on- we have never actually slept together before," she said, poking him in the chest. "It was fucking great, but still took a little getting used to."

Jacob grinned. "Fucking great, hey?"

"Stop fishing for compliments," Leah said, before rolling back over so that she was lying on the flat of her back. She was silent for a few moments, but then turned her head towards him. "Jake."

"Yeah?"

"What happens next?"

"What do you mean?"

"With us. What do we do? Do we keep this to ourselves, or do we just start walking around the reservation holding hands?"

Jacob did not respond immediately, his expression pensive. "Umm...I'm going to give you a completely honest answer, ok?" he started and Leah nodded. "I think that for now, we should probably keep this between us. We have no idea how things are going to pan out- hell, we might only work when we are just having random fucks to help our self esteem."

Leah laughed and then let out a loud sigh of relief. "I am so on the same page. I have been the focus of the reservation grape vine for too long and I am sick of it. I want us to be able to enjoy this before we throw ourselves to the wolves."

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "Wolves? Oh come on, Leah, surely you could have come up with a better one than that."

"What?" Confusion crossed Leah's face as she ran back over what she said. When realisation hit, she reached across and shoved Jacob. "Fuck off, Black. You know what I was saying." She sat up slightly, catching sight of his alarm clock. "I should probably get going. Who knows when Billy is going to turn up."

Jacob nodded. "But, we should do something today."

Leah bit her bottom lip. "There's actually something that I need to do today. Tonight?" she asked and Jacob nodded. "The clearing? Meet me there."

Jacob leaned across, pressing his lips into hers. "I'll see you then."

**XXXXX**

Leah did not even have to knock on the door before it flew open, a smiling Edward on the other side. "Hey Leah."

She sighed. "Eavesdropping again, Cullen?"

He nodded, a grin on his face. "You are normally a lot better at keeping things under wraps. I guess happiness is a little bit harder to contain, hey?"

"How the fuck anybody lives with you without killing you is beyond me," Leah said, though not nastily. "Look, I want to make this quick- where is she?"

"She is just talking to Seth. She knows you're here- give her a few minutes?"

Leah nodded. "Ok, I'll just wait out here and—"

"Agghhh!!!!" a high pitched scream cut her off, and Leah peered curiously into the house.

"What's up with the midget?" Leah asked Edward.

Alice heard her and rolled her eyes. "Good to see you again, White Fang."

Edward was staring intently at Alice, obviously taking in whatever she was thinking. "Alice, I think that you are worrying about nothing- you still see their complete path."

Alice was shaking her head fervently. "I know that, but something is not right and I can't figure it out and it is driving me insane!"

"Can I ask what is going on?" Leah interjected. "Or is this secret leech business?"

"You already know," Edward replied. "I'm assuming Jacob passed on the news about the visiting coven?"

"Yeah- but I thought there was nothing to worry about," Leah replied.

"There isn't," Edward said, "but Alice has convinced herself that there is."

"I have not convinced myself!" Alice denied vehemently. "I just feel that something is not right. I don't think that we should sit here complacent until they make their appearance. Something is going to change- I can feel it." She turned to Leah. "Can you let the pack know that I am not feeling 100% certain about this? I can still see the clear path from where they are to our place, but..." she trailed off, her expression obviously troubled.

Leah nodded. "I can do that," she said, catching sight of Edward's expression, which clearly read 'overreaction'. However, before he could add another two cents, Bella walked in.

"Leah. Hey." Her tone was uncertain.

Leah was feeling equally uncomfortable. "Hey...um, can we talk?"

Bella nodded, and then stepped out the front door, leading the two of them away from the others. "What is wrong?"

Leah drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Ok, I just want to get this over and done with. Thank you."

Bella blinked. "Thank you?"

"Yes. Thank you for helping me pull my head out of my arse."

Realisation dawned on Bella's face. "Jacob?"

Leah nodded. "Yeah...and about that- could you and Edward keep quiet? We're not going public just yet...not even our families know," she added pointedly.

"Of course," Bella nodded. "No one will know until you or Jacob tell them." She paused. "But speaking of Seth, he could probably use a visit from his sister right now."

"What's wrong? What's happened?"

"He's having a bad day..." Bella faltered slightly. "We all get them...Nessie...she is still ageing so fast and none of our leads have panned out. We have no idea what is going to happen...if...if we can't stop it. He tries so hard to keep a completely happy front, but every now and then it just gets a little too much."

"Where is he?" Bella motioned towards the backyard, and Leah made her way around the house immediately. She saw Seth sitting on rock, which for some reason looked as if someone had taken to it with a sledgehammer. As she got closer, Leah blinked. Were those finger marks gouged into the stone?

"Leah?" Seth sounded shocked.

"Hey little bro." She paused, taking in the utter desperation written on his face and she did the only she could think of. She sat down next to him, and opened her arms wide. "Come here."

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob's heart jumped as he entered the clearing later that evening. Leah was sitting there, by the water. He would have never admitted it, but there was a tiny part of him that feared her running again.

He was all ready to sweep her up in his arms, when he noticed the dark expression on her face. So instead, he sat down beside. "What is going on?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "Just some fucking fucked up shit," she muttered, and he had to fight the urge to laugh at her choice of vocabulary.

"And what sort of fucking shit are we talking about now?" he asked.

Leah glanced up at him, uncertainly and then turned away again. "Imprinting," she sighed and Jacob felt his heart sink. She was going to run again.

"Leah, look I don't know how many times—"

"Whoa." Leah held up her hands, suddenly realising the effect that word would have on him. "Believe me when I say that this has nothing to do with us. I am not having a freak out...well, not the kind of freak out that you are thinking of."

"Then what?"

"I saw Seth today and he is not the same little brother anymore. He was always the happy and optimistic one and now he is being slowly destroyed," she explained. "This whole imprinting thing is made out to be so beautiful and wonderful. Love at first sight, soul mates for life and all that crap. Well, what happens if that soul mate is not around for life? What happens to their imprint then? How are they supposed to continue when the supposed only person on Earth for them is gone?"

Jacob reached out, clasping one of her hands. "I don't know," he replied honestly.

"The way that the demon spawn is ageing, she may not even be alive in a few years time. Seth shouldn't have to go through that- and he wouldn't have to if fucking imprinting didn't exist. Of all people in this world, he is one who truly deserves happiness, and what does he get? Heart ache and a kick in the gut."

"The situation with Nessie night work itself out. We don't know."

"But that's not all. The whole thing is just wrong. That one of the biggest decisions you will ever make- who you are going to spend the rest of your life with- is taken completely out of your hands. You have no say. You have no choice."

"True," Jacob agreed. "But then, in life you can't help who you fall in love with."

"Imprinting isn't love," Leah said. "It's mind control. It is not romantic, it is not beautiful. I couldn't live with it...the rest of them are too blissed out to realise how _sick _it really is. I could not live everyday looking at somebody who I didn't choose..." she trailed. "Not that I have to worry about it anyway. I just needed to vent for my brother."

"What do you mean you don't have to worry about it?" Jacob asked.

Leah looked up at him. "Oh come on, we've had this conversation. If I was going to imprint, I would have. With one of the guys on the rez, carry on the line, that sort of thing. I guess I should count myself lucky." She exhaled, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. "I have completely put a dampener on this evening, haven't I?"

Jacob grinned. "Not really. You getting on your high horse is very entertaining. I'm enjoying myself."

"Fuck you," she laughed, elbowing him. "For that, it's your turn to entertain me."

Jacob gave her blank look. "And just how am I going to do that?"

In what felt like a blink of a eye, Leah had straddled his lap and had the collar of his shirt fisted in her hands. "Let me show you," she murmured, bringing his lips to hers.


	14. Development

**A/N:** Once again I want to send out a thank you to those who are reading and enjoying (hopefully) this fic. And to those extra special, amazing, wonderful souls who took the time to review, I send you my eternal gratitude. I brought a bunch of Freddo Frogs to reward my year 10 English class, and I wish I could something like that for you, as well.

There was a slight delay in uploading this chapter, and I apologise. It turned out a lot longer than I expected (I was actually worried that I wasn't going to have enough material to sustain a decent sized chapter, but it just kept coming and coming) so I hope that it makes up for it some way. Right now it is 12.55am and I have to be up for work at 6.30, but I am here uploading this chapter because I want to get it out so much. So, I hope that you all enjoy it and feel free to let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Walking On a Dream- _Empire of the Sun, _Sweet Darlin'_- She & Him, _Who'd Have Known_- Lily Allen, _Two Kinds of Right_- The Grates.

* * *

"Come in, come in," Sue ushered the figure in through her front door.

"Thanks Sue," Rachel Black said. "I was just after that recipe that we were talking about the other day."

"Oh right- come through to the kitchen," Sue directed, gesturing for Rachel to follow her. "So who are you trying to impress?"

Rachel laughed softly. "Paul and I are having dinner with our parents tonight. It's not so much impress, as wanting to serve up something other than the fish Dad always seems to eat."

Sue raised an eyebrow as she pulled a recipe book from one of the pantry shelves. "Paul doing a family dinner. My, my, have you been successful in taming the wild beast, Rachel?"

"No taming," Rachel replied. "Just bribery. I promised him that I would ensure there would be enough for seconds and thirds." She paused. "Dad asked me to ensure that he was full enough so he wouldn't raid the cupboard afterwards."

"Sounds like Seth- is was astronomical the amounts he ate...aha!" Sue pulled out a piece of paper with flourish. "Here it is. Let me know—"

She cut off as Leah breezed into the kitchen. "Hey mum...Rachel. Who are we gossiping about today?'

Sue reached out, swatting her daughter lightly on the head. "There is no gossiping."

"Right," Leah grinned. "You need Seth to do that, right?" She opened the refrigerator, grabbing an apple. "I'm just heading out, mum. Are we still on for Port Angeles tonight?"

Sue nodded as Leah kissed her on the cheek and then walked out the back door, almost bouncing with each step.

Rachel was watching, an amazed expression on her face. "Was that really Leah?"

Sue looked back at her. "Yeah...she's changed a bit, hasn't she?"

"What happened?"

Sue shrugged. "I have no idea, but she has been like this since she went to stay with Seth. It has been over a month she since returned. I don't know what happened while she was there, but I am so thankful for it. She is actually happy again."

_**XXXXX**_

_Leah rolled onto the ground beside Jacob, trying hard to contain her erratic breaths. Glancing over, she saw that he was doing the same thing and could not help but laugh._

"_Well," Jacob grinned. "I think that you should vent and get on your high horse more often. I can get used to you providing entertainment for me in return. Hell, I think you should start a full blown campaign."_

"_Hmm," Leah brought a hand up, lazily running it up and down his chest. "I was thinking of making t-shirts."_

"_Yeah, I can see the slogan now- 'Imprinting isn't love, it's mind control'," Jacob said. "I dare you to rock up at the next council meeting wearing one."_

"_If I walked in wearing something like that nobody would blink an eye," Leah pointed out. "Hell, they have probably been waiting for my public breakdown. You, on the other hand..."_

"_I don't think so...find me a different cause to fight for and I'll think about," he replied._

"_Ok then," Leah propped herself up on her elbow. "What do you hate at the moment? What do you want to vent about?"_

"_Hmm..." Jacob closed his eyes for several moments. "You know how they use CGI to make babies on TV do things they shouldn't be able to do- like talk?" Leah nodded. "I hate that-they shouldn't do that, ever."_

_Leah's jaw dropped slightly. "Are you serious? That is your big vent topic?"_

"_Hell yes. Have you seen any of that shit? It's fucking creepy," Jacob let out and then shuddered slightly._

_Leah's eyes widened. "You don't just hate them- you're scared of them!" she let out, pushing him. "You are scared of the CGI babies!"_

_He glanced at her, wondering if it was worth denying her claim. He decided it wasn't. "So what if I am- it is not normal."_

"_And having the ability to phase into a wolf is?"_

"_It is a hell of a lot more normal than watching an imposed mouth on a baby talk," he retorted. "And what about you? You're giving me shit, but you have got to be scared of something. And don't even try to worm out of this one- I'll find out one way or another."_

_Leah sighed. "You have to promise not to laugh."_

_Jacob rubbed his hands together. "Ohh, must be a good one."_

"_Don't get too excited, it's not so much funny as ironic...well, actually, if we look at it, it isn't actually ironic, it is actually expected."_

"_Leah," Jacob held up a hand. "Cut the crap and tell me."_

"_I am scared of cats."_

_Jacob stared at her for several seconds before bursting into loud laughter. "So the big bad dog is scared of the iddy widdy kitty."_

"_I was a little girl, there were claws involved. There has been long lasting results," Leah replied. "And if you ever call me a dog again, Jacob Black, it will be the last word you ever utter."_

"_I don't doubt that for a second," he replied solemnly."I promise that if one of those four-legged evil demons cross our path, I will take care of it."_

"_Good," Leah said. "And if a talking baby appears on the television I will change the channel."_

"_Sounds like we have a deal."Jacob said. Leah did not respond, her brow furrowed slightly, as if she were concerned about something. "What?"_

"_Nobody else knows about the cat thing, well except for mum and Seth," she replied. "I have never told anybody else...I didn't even tell Sam in the time that we were together."_

"_Why did you tell me?" Jacob asked, his voice considerably lower._

_Leah shrugged. "I guess I just felt that I could...does that make sense?"_

_Jacob nodded, reaching out his arms and pulling her close to him._

**_XXXXX_**

"There you go, Billy," Quil said as he jumped off the chair, a burnt out light globe in his hand. "All changed and fixed. You should be able to see what you're doing now."

"Thanks." Billy took the globe from Quil. "My children seem to have disappeared off the face of the planet. They are never here when I need them."

Quil's head cocked to the side. "Children? I know Rach is all into Paul at the moment, but where is Jake? He is usually around isn't he?"

"Usually has turned into used. I have barely seen him this past month. The strange thing is, the times I do ask him where he is going, he says that he is heading out to the Cullen's."

Quil frowned, slightly confused. "I got the impression that he was backing off from Bella....but, I suppose Seth is there. He's probably just checking up."

Billy shrugged. "I am not going to probe him too much. Whatever he has been up, he is a lot happier, and for that I am grateful."

**_XXXXX_**

"_Oh god," Jacob moaned, as he pulled Leah into his garage and pressed his lips into hers. "I thought that I was going to go crazy."_

_Leah laughed as he continued to pepper her lips with kisses. "It's only been two days since we saw each other."_

_Jacob's head reared back slightly. "Are you kidding me? Can you tell me that you find being apart an ease?"_

_No," Leah admitted. "I thought that I was going to have to start taking up knitting or something to keep me occupied. You?"_

_Jacob nodded towards the car behind them "The project has been keeping me busy."_

_Leah brought a hand up, fiddling with a button on his shirt. "Are we going to be able to keep this up? I mean, we've only been... whatever we are, for a week. Trying to find time is going to be so fucking hard."_

"_So," Jacob replied bluntly. "Who gives a flying fuck? It's all worth it, in the end, isn't it? And to be honest, I think we will be able to get time each day if we try."_

_Leah raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, because the last two days have been a walk in the park."_

"_And that was because of the minor complication of Dad being sick. He hasn't left the house," Jacob replied. "Think about it- if the weather permits, he spends 90% of his time fishing. The house is empty then."_

"_And mum visits Seth regularly- plus her lunches and dinners with friends. Our house is free then."_

"_Then, if we need a reason to get out, we can always use the Cullen's as an excuse," Jacob pointed out._

_Leah snorted. "Yeah, because everyone will believe that I am socialising with parasites."_

"_Who cares what they believe. Edward and Bella will back us up. They kind of owe us, you know, given that we kind of saved their daughter's life."_

_A large grin had broken out on Leah's face. "We can make it work, can't we?"_

_Jacob smiled back. "Of course we fucking can."_

**_*****_**

_Leah glanced down at the trolley that was rapidly filling, and then looked back at her mother. "Mum, why do we need all this stuff? It's only the two of us."_

"_Don't forget your brother," Sue replied, as she grabbed two loaves of bread off the shelf and placing them in the trolley. "I like to make sure that he eats right."_

_Leah laughed softly. "Mum, I was there two weeks ago and he is eating plenty. Besides, he has basically moved out of home. Why can't he look after himself?"_

_Sue stared at her for a moment, an eyebrow raised. "Maybe he will when his older sister starts to," she said, with a smile._

_Leah grinned "Touché, mum. Hey, what do you say we grab some of the unhealthiest food we can find and then we can stop by the video store on the way home. I am in the mood for a girl's night."_

"_One step ahead of you, darling," Sue said, as they turned down the chip and soft drink aisle. "Take your pick. Me, I am in the mood for...oh, hello Jacob."_

_Leah's head whipped up and she saw that Jacob had just entered the aisle. She could tell from the deer in headlights expression on his face that he had been planning on avoiding the two of them. Sue had obviously put a stop to that._

"_Hey Sue," he said, stepping towards them. "Leah."_

_She nodded at him, a smile forming on her lips as Sue stepped in front of her, in Jacob's direction._

"_How have you been Jacob? I haven't seen you in a while- what have you been up too?" Sue asked._

_Leah could not help it. Jacob's eyes had involuntarily glanced towards her when Sue had asked that loaded question. Meeting his gaze, she scooped her two hands under her breasts pushing them up while giving him a suggestive wink._

"_Uh—" Jacob coughed loudly. "Not a lot- I've been keeping to the garage lately."_

"_Oh, speaking of that- my car has been making some strange noises lately. Would I be asking too much for you to take a look at it?"_

_Jacob shifted his glance to Leah once more. She made a big show of fanning herself and unbuttoning the top few buttons on her shirt. She could see his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard and felt a sweet thrill run up her spine._

"_Um, no...that would be fine, Sue. Just tell me when a good time."_

"_Would tomorrow be ok? Will you be busy?"_

_This time Leah feigned a yawn, stretching her arms up so that her shirt shifted up, revealing her stomach. As she dropped her hands down, she brought a finger to her lips, before trailing it between her breasts and down her stomach. When she reached her shorts, she dipped her finger slightly, so that she could run it along the inside edge of her waistband._

"_Tomorrow will be just fine, Sue. I drop round mid-morning?"_

"_Fantastic," Sue said and then turned to Leah. "I am going to grab some dips. You get the chips and meet me in the confectionary aisle."_

_Jacob watched as Sue disappeared around the corner and then faced Leah. His eyes were blazing, but not with anger._

"_You are going to pay for that," he said, his voice low._

_Leah grinned. "Am I?"_

"_Most definitely. There are going to be some serious repercussions for you."_

_Leah sidled up to him, bringing her lips to his ear. "I can't wait."_

_**XXXXX**_

Sue hesitated slightly before knocking on Leah's door. At the sound of her daughter's assent, she pushed it open and peered into the room.

"Yeah?" Leah asked, sprawled across her bed, book in hand.

"Um, I wanted to let you that the Ateara's are having a get together this evening. You don't have to go," Sue added, remembering Leah's reaction the last time she had forced her to attend a gathering, "but I just thought that I would tell you."

Leah felt a tug of guilt, knowing exactly why her mother was so hesitant. "I'd love to go. What time are we leaving?"

Sue's jaw dropped slightly and she could not help but stare incredulously at her daughter. "Around 5."

"Great," Leah replied, her tone light. Sue remained standing in her doorway, and so she waited for a reply. But there was nothing. "What?"

Sue blinked. "I don't know if I should say this, but...Leah, you cannot know how wonderful it is to see you happy again. I am not going to probe or question, but this is such a positive change. I love seeing you this way."

A faint smile crossed Leah's face as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I kind of love being this way, too."

**_XXXXX_**

"So my absent son has decided to grace me with his presence," Billy said, throwing his hands up as Jacob walked into the living room. "I think the shock might actually kill me."

"Ha ha," Jacob grinned. "Tell me Dad, why did you never go into stand up comedy? We could be living the high life by now."

"I thought it best to stick with a day job," Billy replied solemnly. "I like to keep it real."

Jacob broke out into a loud laugh as he threw himself down on the couch. "Please don't ever say that again. If you do, I might have to crawl into a hole and never come out."

Billy shrugged. "Meh. It's not as if you are around here much anyway. If you are going to keep away, I might as well have some fun with it."

Jacob's expression fell. "Aw, dad, when you put it like that. You know—"

"No, it's ok," Billy said. "I have my suspicions as to why you are disappearing- and those suspicions are leaning towards those relating to a female—" Jacob went to speak, but Billy held up a hand, silencing him. "But I am not going to sit you through an interrogation. I am going to let you live your life and revel in watching you enjoy it."

"Oh...ok...." Jacob was not sure what to say. He had been getting so use to the inquisition. "Well, what are you doing tonight? There is a game on- we could have a night in."

Billy shook his head. "No can do. I'm heading over to the Ateara's. Why don't you come along?"

**_XXXXX_**

_Jacob lounged back on his bed, his arms folded beneath his head, watching as Leah pottered about in his room. She had thrown on one of his t-shirts and then taken it upon herself to go through all of his belongings. She had said that it was because she wanted to get to know him better, yet when Jacob scoffed and said that she was simply a sticky beak, she had simply smirked and continued what she was doing._

_At this point, Leah's head was buried in his wardrobe. "You can give up now," Jacob laughed. "I can tell you now that there are no skeleton's in there."_

"_Yup, no skeletons," Leah's reply was muffled, "but there is this!" she announced triumphantly, as she stepped back, a worn out Pound Puppy in her hands. _

_Jacob sat up straight. "You found Max."_

_Leah looked down at the toy in her hand. "You named it Max."_

_Jacob grinned. "Yup. Max was my first foray into business."_

_Leah made her way over to the bed. "What do you mean?"_

"_He was originally Rebecca's. I bought him off her for half a packet of chicken chips."_

_Leah laughed. "It sounds like Rebecca bribed you into giving her the chips, by offering you an old soft toy that she probably didn't even like in the first place."_

"_Probably," Jacob shrugged. "But he was the best deal I have ever made in my life."_

"_Really?" Leah asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "An old, stuffed brown dog?"_

_Jacob nodded, his expression suddenly serious. "It was only a few days later that mum died. Max became a security blanket of some sort. She wasn't there anymore to tuck me in, so I had to make do. I took him to bed with me every night for years."_

_Leah moved so that she was pressed up beside him, Max still in her hands. "I forget sometimes," she said quietly. "She died so long ago, that I sometimes forget that you another parent, other than Billy...but then I forget about what happened to dad, at times. Something will happen and I will go to tell him and then it hits. He is not there."_

"_I forget too," Jacob murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Not that she's gone, but just her. I'll be going about my day and then it will hit me that I haven't thought about her in weeks. I was young when she died, my memories are so vague, but I still feel so guilty."_

_Leah nestled her head into his shoulder. "I guess we have more in common than we originally thought."_

**_*****_**

_Leah curled her toes in the sand, inhaling deeply. She could hear the waves of the ocean crashing loudly, but the darkness prevented her from seeing it. She loved it. The sounds of the ocean and the dark enveloping her, making her feel content, of all things. Of course, the person sitting beside her added to that as well._

_In the past week, she and Jacob had taken to meeting on the beach in the early hours of morning. It was always deserted, giving them time to just be._

"_You've got your serious face on," Jacob commented, running a hand over her hair._

"_I was thinking," she replied. "Did you realise that it has almost been a month?"_

_He nodded. "I knew that."_

"_Almost a month with no fighting. Almost a month of the two of us working together. Six months ago, if somebody told me this is where I would be, I would have laughed and then hit in the face."_

_Jacob laughed. "Wow, I love to hear how much you think of me."_

_Leah looked up at him. "I'm here, aren't I. Yes, I am surprised, but that doesn't mean that I am not happy. You make me happy."_

_Jacob nodded. "I know what you mean...who would have thought..."_

_"...that we could be so good for one another," Leah finished._

_Jacob paused for a moment. "Are you still scared?" he asked, a large part of him fearing her answer._

"_Yes," Leah answered truthfully. "A part of me will always be scared..." Even in the darkness she could see the expression on his face fall. "Now, don't be like that. Being scared is a completely normal part of letting someone in your life. Even you have fears." Jacob was frowning, clearly indicating that he did not believe what she was saying. "You do," she insisted. "You're scared that I am scared, scared that I am going to freak out again. And that is a _good _thing. It means that you are invested, it means that you will fight."_

_Jacob reached up, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Am I?" he asked._

"_Are you what?"_

"_In your life?"_

"_Things are still so new..." Leah trailed off, a smile breaking onto her face, "but I think that it might be heading in that direction."_

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob was standing with Sam, Quil and Embry off the side of the Ateara's crowded yard. It would appear that the majority of the reservation had shown up. The other three were deep in conversation, but Jacob was not entirely sure of the topic. He had only been half listening, instead choosing to concentrate on one person in the crowd.

He knew that Leah was well aware that he was watching her. She kept flicking glances and small smiles in his direction, and he was now fighting a desperate urge to walk over and envelope her in his arms. To kiss, taste and feel every inch of her body.

"Jake."

He blinked as fingers clicked in front of his face. He looked to see Sam staring at him, confused.

"What?"

"Where are you? You've been off in la-la land all night."

"Sorry," Jacob ran a hand over his face. "I'm just tired...." he trailed off as he caught sight of Leah once more. She was gesturing towards the shed that sat on the edge of the Ateara's property. "Umm, excuse me. I need to talk to Billy about something."

Leah had already disappeared and was waiting inside for him. As soon as he closed the door behind him, her arms were around him, her lips pressed into his. "Now that," she murmured against his lips, "was driving me crazy. Who the fuck do all these people think they are, keeping us apart?"

Jacob grinned. "Um, I don't think that they are aware that they are doing it."

"Who cares," Leah replied. "We can still blame them, right?" Jacob nodded and she crushed her lips against his once more, pushing her tongue into his. His groan reverberated through her body, and she responded by bringing her hands up to unbutton his shirt.

"Wait," Jacob grabbed her around the wrists. "We can't do this here."

"Fine," Leah dropped her hands, pursing her lips into an exaggerated pout. "If you want to say no, then you're the one missing out." She turned and started to walk away from.

It took all of a second for Jacob to growl and grab her. He pushed her up onto the workbench that ran along the wall of the shed, gripping her tightly by the hips. "What the fuck- nobody is going to coming in here, anyway."

Leah raised an eyebrow, as she bucked her hips into his groin. "Now, I don't know about that..."

"I like the way you think," Jacob whispered, bringing their lips together. Leah moaned as she felt his tongue press into hers, and she wrapped her legs around him, wanting to pull the two of them closer together. One of his hands made its way up her shirt, cupping one of breasts. "Why, Miss Clearwater, you have failed to wear a bra today."

Leah shrugged. "I had a feeling that I would not be needing it. The same reason why I went with a skirt...pants just get in the way." She inhaled sharply as he pinched one of her nipples. "More," she breathed. He complied, pushing her shirt up and bringing his mouth down. He flicked his tongue out against her nipple several times, before lowering his lips completely, taking her in his mouth. "Fuck, yes..." Leah moaned, grasping her hands around the back of his head.

His lips left her chest, and trailed up to her neck. She whimpered softly, at the loss of the sensation of his mouth, but was soon consoled when she felt one of Jacob's hands trail up the inside of her thigh. He paused, pulling his head back so that he could watch her face as he lazily ran a finger along the outside of her underwear. A smug grin grew on his face as she thrusted her hips, wanting to feel so much more. "What's the matter, Leah?" he asked, his face now a picture of innocence.

She grabbed the collar of his shirt. "Do we need to have another discussion about teasing and its resulting consequences?"

"As I remember," Jacob said, dipping a finger beneath her underwear, "you quite enjoyed the repercussions last time."

"And you should remember that I am not as lenient as you," she shot back.

Another smile formed on Jacob's face as he slid his fingers into her hot, wet folds. Leah moaned, wrapping her hands around his neck, and moved to kiss him, but he stopped her. "I want to see you," he whispered, pushing his fingers into her.

Leah gasped, throwing her head back, as he starting moving them, in and out, curling his fingers slightly. She unwrapped her legs from around his waist, planting the soles of her feet on the edge of the bench, widening herself to him even more. "Don't stop..." she groaned, thrusting her hips to meet each of his movements.

Jacob brought his thumb to her clit, rubbing it as he continued to pump her with his fingers. He watched as her breathing increased and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She looked so fucking beautiful, and she felt....

"Ugh..." she moaned. "You feel so fucking amazing."

Jacob grinned. "Ditto," he said.

"Please....more....Jake....oh....oh....oh." Leah's thrusts grew more frantic, and he could feel her start to tighten around her fingers. He kept his pace, pushing and rubbing. He watched face contort slightly before she cried out. "Oh fuck!" She thrust against him, milking the climax for all that it was worth. "Jake....oh....god...." She let out a loud sigh, bringing her head down to rest in the crook of his neck. "I think that—"

"Oops!" A familiar voice interrupted whatever she was about to say. "Sorry...I didn't....nobody..." they stammered before stopping short. "Leah? _Jacob_?"

Leah looked up and her stomach dropped when her eyes met the shocked ones of Emily Young.

It looked like that the secret might be out.


	15. Plans

**A/N: **Ok, ok, ok, I deserve a smack for leaving it so long between updates, especially with how I left the end of the previous chapter. I hate that I seem to be starting all of these notes with excuses and such, but I feel the need to explain. From my profile, and some of these author notes, you will know that I am teacher, which keeps me crazy busy during usual times. However, at this point I have some extra-curriculum programs that I am running that are taking up so much of my time. They will be over and done with in a month's time, so here's hoping that life settles enough to allow me to post on a more regular basis.

So, thank you to everybody for your patience with me- to those who continue to read this story, and those who add it as a favourite of theirs. But most of all, to those amazing people who take the time to let me know what they are thinking about this fic. I could be having the worst day and your reviews will automatically cheer me up.

Now, the general consensus from the reviews was that Emily was going to turn around and spead the news of what she had just seen. I suppose you should all read on and see whether that is the case...

**Music: **_The Sum of Every Part_- The Grates, _Make It Last_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _A Nest for Two_- Blinker the Star, _No Other_- Urthboy

* * *

"_Please....more....Jake....oh....oh....oh." Leah's thrusts grew more frantic, and he could feel her start to tighten around her fingers. He kept his pace, pushing and rubbing. He watched face contort slightly before she cried out. "Oh fuck!" She thrust against him, milking the climax for all that it was worth. "Jake....oh....god...." She let out a loud sigh, bringing her head down to rest in the crook of his neck. "I think that—"_

"_Oops!" A familiar voice interrupted whatever she was about to say. "Sorry...I didn't....nobody..." they stammered before stopping short. "Leah? __Jacob__?"_

_Leah looked up and her stomach dropped when her eyes met the shocked ones of Emily Young._

_It looked like that the secret might be out._

"Oh fuck," Jacob muttered, reaching up to pull down Leah's shirt, as she fumbled with her skirt. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."

"Oh god...I am so sorry," Emily stuttered. "I just...not enough room...inside," she quickly walked to the spare fridge in the garage and placed a couple of bottles inside. "I'm...uh...leaving," she turned back towards the door.

"No, wait," Leah called out. "Em, please wait." When Emily stopped and turned back around, Leah looked at Jacob, placing a hand on his cheek. "Give us a moment?" Jacob nodded shortly, and walked quickly out the door, unable to look at Emily.

When he had gone, Leah slid off the bench and took a step towards Emily. "I am sorry that you had to see that," she said quietly.

Emily was staring at her, studying her. "How long have you been together?" she asked.

"Um," Leah raked a hand through her hair and moved closer to her. "Well, that depends..."

"Depends on what?"

"Well, we've been 'together' a little over a month, but we have been getting together since your wedding."

Emily's eyes widened slightly. "What?"

Leah sighed as she leaned against the fridge and slid to the ground. She gestured to the spot beside her and Emily followed suit. "This whole thing just started off as a distraction for both of us. A way for us to forget everything else that was going on. I was determined that it was going to stay that way- no complications, no concerns, but...."

"It evolved into something more," Emily finished and Leah nodded. "So, did things evolve naturally, or was there are catalyst?"

"It was Jake," Leah replied. "I would have never...but he opened up to me and I was stupid enough to run. I almost lost him because of that."

Emily's brow furrowed. "Ok, I am assuming that the recent change in you is Jacob related, so he obviously makes you happy. Why would you run?"

"He hasn't imprinted, Emily."

Understanding dawned on Emily's face. "You feared a repeat of Sam."

Leah nodded. "I did." She paused. "A part of me still does," she admitted.

"And yet you are still with him?" Emily inquired. Leah looked at her. There was nothing in her expression except for compassion. Emily was talking to her only as a friend.

"Yes, I am," Leah said. "Like you said, he makes me happy. We understand each other and I trust that he will not deliberately hurt. I know that the two of us together seems crazy—"

"It doesn't seem crazy," Emily interrupted. "Surprising, maybe, but definitely not crazy."

"It's not crazy that I am with a person who I feel will eventually leave me for someone else?"

"We are all scared of something. No relationship is perfect, Leah."

Leah scoffed. "Yeah right," she said, looking pointedly at Emily.

"No relationship," Emily replied firmly. "Not even imprint couples."

"But...but, you and Sam make it look so easy."

"Yes, it is so easy to be with him...and that it part of it," Emily said, tucking a strand of hair behind her. "Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like had Sam not imprinted on me."

Leah stared at her, agape. "What?" she breathed.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Sam and I love the life that we have together. I would not want to give that up. But, everything just fell into place. There was no excitement, there was no risk. We didn't get the chance to _fall _in love. Right from the start there was an instantaneous connection, contentment and love. I am not complaining, but sometimes I wonder, what life would be like, had things been different." She looked at Leah. "You and Jacob get to have that. You have your beginning and you get to dictate where you go."

Leah could not help but smile. "I have never thought about it in that way."

"Do you know where the two of you are heading yet?"

Leah shook her head. "We haven't talked about it. Right now, we are just living for now, trying to find time alone. It hasn't been easy."

"I can imagine," Emily said. "It sounds like the two of you need to get away for a few days. What about a camping trip- you always loved camping."

Leah's stomach gave an excited turn at the thought of being alone with Jacob for an extended period time, but it soon dissipated. "And how are we supposed to explain our disappearance to everyone?"

"Well," Emily started slowly. "I'm going out of town in a couple of weeks, to visit some friends. We could tell people that you are coming with me."

Leah's hopes rose slightly. "And what about Jacob?"

"He can just tell people he is going camping alone for a couple of days," Emily said.

"I..." Leah hesitated. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me? I haven't exactly been a friend to you."

Emily stood up, offering a hand to Leah. "You had your reasons. Why don't we just call this our new beginning?"

Leah reached out, allowing Emily to help her up. "Thank you...but I am going to have to ask you another favour."

Emily nodded. "What?"

"Jake and I want...we need to keep this between us for now. We're not ready for the reservation to know. I hate asking you to keep a secret, especially from Sam, but—"

"Leah, you don't have to ask," Emily said. "Nobody will know unless you and Jacob want them to."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah ran, her four legs pounding the ground, as she concentrated on following Jacob's scent. When she had raised the camping trip idea to him, he had immediately agreed, stating that he knew of place that was perfect- secluded and miles from any area of inhabitation.

Thinking of him waiting for her at the site, Leah sped up, making sure that she kept a tight grip on the leather strap in her mouth. She was enjoying this. It had been too long since she had allowed herself to run like this and she made a note not to deprive herself ever again. The sense of freedom that her sped brought was only thing she liked about being a wolf.

Up ahead she spotted a large blue tent sitting in a small clearing and she slowed herself to a stop. She dropped the bag from her mouth and drew in a deep breath, phasing back into human form. Anxious to see Jacob, she hurriedly threw on a t-shirt and pair of shorts, and walked towards the tent.

There was no one there. She stood on the spot, turning around, taking in the water of the river a few feet away, the fire pit set up near the tent, the esky of food...but there was no Jacob.

"Jake?" she called out, and was suddenly thrown off balance as two arms wrapped around her, crushing her with their force. "Oomph!"

"Hey," Jacob murmured in her ear and she felt his body press up against her back.

"Jake! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," he replied, not sounding the least bit. "I was excited. Can you believe that it is just going to be us for the next two days? No sneaking, no hiding, just us?"

Leah sighed, leaning back into him, a smile breaking out on her face. If only it could be like that all the time. "Now that sounds fucking amazing."

"Damn straight," Jacob replied, turning her around. "Now how about we start making the most of this time that we have together?"

Leah sighed, closing her eyes as she titled her face up towards him. "What did you have in mind?" she asked, anticipating the feel of his lips on hers. But instead, all she felt was the ground beneath her disappear as he swept her up in his arms. Her eyes flew open and she saw that he had taken off in direction of the water. "Jacob, don't you fucking—"

Leah cut off as Jacob hurtled the two of them into the river. A few steps in he let go, tossing her into the freezing water.

When Leah broke through the surface, coughing and spluttering, with her hair covering her face, all she could hear was Jacob's laughter.

"Jacob Black!" she yelled, swiping furiously at her hair. "I ought to..."

"You ought to what?" Jacob laughed even harder, pulling himself through the water so that he could get closer to her.

"Kick your ass, strangle you, withhold certain privileges..." she shot back.

At the last suggestion Jacob stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. "Hang on; if you do that, you will not only be punishing me, you'll be punishing yourself."

Leah raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Not really, I wouldn't be missing out on all that much."

Jacob let out a growl as he grabbed her shirt, pulling her body closer to his. "Not missing much," he said, his voice low and she nodded. He responded by cupping a hand over one of her breasts. Leah fought to keep a straight face, but he started to move his hand slightly, massaging her flesh through her wet t-shirt. His thumb and index finger pinched around her nipple, squeezing it and Leah could not help but inhale sharply. As soon as she did, Jacob released his grip, dropping his hand into the water. "So then I guess you won't miss that..." he said, a sly grin forming on his face.

Leah considered her options for several moments. She wasn't about to let to let him win that easily. So, after giving Jacob a quick wink, she ducked down under the water. Reaching out, she gripped her hands around his Jacob's knees and yanked towards her. As she had hoped, Jacob lost his footing, crashing down under the water. Grinning, Leah broke the surface and waited a few seconds for Jacob to do the same, coughing and spluttering as she had done.

"Good," she said, as he wiped the water out of his eyes. "Now we are even." She clasped her hands behind his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Uh uh," Jacob shook his head. "Now quite even. Not until you take back that 'not missing much' comment."

"Such a sensitive boy," Leah laughed, as she ground her hips against Jacob, causing him to groan. "But," she dipped her head so that she could whisper into his ear, "you're a sensitive boy who makes me feel fucking amazing. If I could I would apend the rest of my life having you touch me in some way or another."

She heard him inhale sharply, and then his lips brushed across her ear. "Ditto," he said, before angling his head so that he could press his lips into hers.

"Now this," Leah murmured against his lips, "is what I had in mind for this weekend." She ran her tongue along his bottom lip before pushing it into his mouth. Jacob responded eagerly with his own and wrapped his arms around her back. He ran his hands down her spine, before sliding them into the waistband of her shorts. Leah unwound her legs, allowing him to remove them and then reached to the button on his own. She could feel him, hard, beneath the fabric, and moved quickly to undo the fly. She pulled the shorts down, using her feet to help, and then wrapped her legs back around his waist.

Jacob broke away from her lips as he grabbed her hem of her t-shirt. Knowing what he wanted to do, Leah raised her arms up, allowing him to remove her it. In almost the same movement he removed his own shirt. Leah's thoughts briefly crossed to the fact that their clothes were floating away, but she was too far engrossed in the person with her to care.

She trailed her lips along his jaw, making her way to his ear and nibbling lightly on the lobe. "Jacob," she whispered and he shivered. From her breath, she knew, and not the water surrounding him. She pulled back slightly, so that she could look into his eyes. "Fuck me."

Jacob's eyes darkened and he brought his hands to the back of her head, pulling her mouth roughly to his. Leah moaned, revelling in the raw passion behind his movements. She felt Jacob's hands move under her buttocks and left her slightly, allowing him to slide into her.

Leah pulled back from his mouth, and grasped her hands around the back of his neck, to allow herself leverage as she started to move against him. She watched Jacob's face contort with pleasure, as his hands dug into her ass and moved his hips to meet each of her movements with a hard and deep thrust. She loved having him like this- it made her feel so alive. She tilted her head back, allowing herself to be consumed by the sound of Jacob's breaths. Focusing only on the fact that he was filling her wholly, completely.

Thinking that what she had said before was entirely true- that she wanted to spend the rest of her life having him touch her in some way or another. But in the heat of the moment, she failed to recognise the enormity of those words.

All that mattered was him, and her, and their moment together.

_**XXXXX**_

"Hmm," Jacob sighed later that evening, as the two of them settled down in the tent. "I think that camping should become a weekly event."

Leah grinned, as she pressed herself up against his body, the sleeping bags they had joined together covering them. Being able to spend an entire night with Jacob was a rare occasion and she was going to savour every moment of this. "I agree, but how do you think we'll go at coming up with excuses every weekend?"

"You raise a good point, Clearwater," he said, "but, there will eventually be a day when we won't be a secret. There will be no need to come up with excuses."

Leah leaned up and pressed her lips onto his jawline. The idea of them being out in the open excited her infinitely, but she knew that neither of them were ready for that step just yet.

"But for now," Jacob continued, "I am happy to live out my fantasies in entirely secret situations."

Leah laughed. "Your fantasies, hey?" she asked and he nodded. "And what fantasies have we lived out today?"

"Well, let's see- you asked me to fuck you. You have never said that, and until today, I didn't even know that I wanted it. But know...just to let you know, you have opened a can of worms. I am thinking about all the places and—"

"Jake!" Leah slapped him lightly on the chest. "Are you going all perv on me?"

He simply looked down at her, a cocky expression on his face. "Are you telling me that your mind is completely clean and G-rated at the moment?"

Leah grinned. "There is no such thing as G-rated when I am around you," she said and he let out a laugh. "And since that is the case, keep going. Has any other fantasy been achieved?"

He nodded, and looked down at her, nothing but pure adoration on his face. "The water. I have wanted to have you wrapped around me in water ever since you made that first 'suggestion'. Now, First Beach is the goal at the moment, but today was a pretty fucking good warm up."

Leah propped herself up on an elbow, one of her hands splayed against his chest. "So, what other little fantasies have you got stored in that head of yours?"

"Oh, the usual- you tying me up, me tying you up, food, toys...threesome with some hot actress from Hollywood..."

"Hmm, they all seem pretty vanilla to me," Leah teased, running a finger up and down his sternum. "Thought that you would want to be a little more adventurous."

"Ok then- you tell me yours," Jacob challenged.

"Well, there is this one," Leah started slowly. Jacob raised his eyebrows at her, egging her to continue. She did not reply straight away and instead manoeuvred herself so that she was straddled across his stomach. From that position, she smiled down at him, biting her bottom lip. She wasn't entirely sure how he was going to respond to this.

"You chickening out on me, Leah?" Jacob asked.

"Never," she shot back.

"Then..."

"Well," Leah placed both her hands on his shoulders, leaning forward slightly. "It involves you...and me..." she leaned down even further, so that her lips were brushing against his ear, "...in wolf form."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jacob let out, grabbing her by the upper arms and pushing her up so that he could look at her. Shock was written all over his face.

"What?" Leah let out, irritated by his reaction. "Are you going to honestly tell me that it has never even crossed your mind?"

"Of course it's fucking crossed my mind!" Jacob exclaimed. "I just thought you would rip my head off if I even dared to suggest it."

Leah suddenly realised that his shock at her admission was not out of disgust, but excitement. She felt him let lessen his grip on her, and wrap his arms around her back, pulling her down so that her head was pillowed on his chest. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his heart echo underneath her.

"Why did it take us so fucking long to get our acts together?" he asked quietly. "So much time wasted on other people and insecurities and whatever other bullshit was going on."

"Who cares," Leah murmured. "We're both idiots- we know that more than anyone. But now we are here and there is nobody judging or commenting or making suggestions on how we should live. Let's not worry about wasted time- let's just be thankful that we got our acts together at all."

_**XXXXX**_

The following evening was tinged with a hint of melancholy. Jacob sat by the fire, staring at the crackling flames. He and Leah would have to return home the following morning and two days of nothing but each other's company was going to make it incredibly hard. The weekend had shown him just how much he loved being in her company...and just how much he wanted this thing with her to last.

"Hey," Leah said, sitting down next to him. He lifted an arm, allowing her to nestle in close. "You have your thinking face on."

"Just mulling things over...the cogs are turning, trying to think of ways for us to meet when we get back home."

Leah groaned. "How about we just run away forever. Just the two of us and nobody else. We can live like fugitives for the rest of our lives."

While his expression did not show it, Jacob was surprised, as he had been several times on this trip. In their time together Leah had rarely mentioned a future between them. He was more than aware why and he supported her by trying to keep things between them as much in the present as possible. But, in the short time they had been away, Leah had said several things that lent to the idea of them having a future together. Even if she was joking, as she was now, it still gave him hope.

"Leah," he looked down at her. "What do you want to do with your life?"

She blinked, the seriousness of the question stumping her slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you want to do as a career, where do you want to go, what do you want to experience?"

In that instant Leah's eyes started dancing with excitement. "Everything. I want to do everything."

"Everything?"

She laughed lightly. "Not literally, but I don't want to be one thing," she started to explain. "First of all, I need to get off La Push, out of Washington...out of the United States. I've always wanted to travel the world, working my way around, experiencing and learning everything I can. I want to be a bar tender in London and a fruit picker in Queensland. I want to drink vodka in Moscow and eat a croissant in Paris. I want to learn to say 'hello', 'goodbye' and 'thank you' in dozens of languages. I want to study meditation techniques whenever I can, because let's face it; I do need to learn to calm down. There is such a big world out there, and I want to experience every part of it before it's too late." She paused. "That is what I have always wanted to do...the plan was to leave as soon as possible."

Jacob couldn't help but smile as he listened to her talk. "What stopped you from leaving then? You could have been long gone by now."

Leah shrugged. "Sam was never going to leave La Push. It was his life. I was so in love that I convinced myself that it was just a pipe dream. When he left me, I fell apart. I didn't want to leave in such a miserable state- imagine what that would have done to my experience. Then dad started having some health problems and mum was so worried, I couldn't leave her. And well, then the whole wolf thing put a kibosh on the plan. I mean, could you imagine if I was on a plane and got angry at the hostess or something? Phasing mid air sounds like a plot line from a B-grade horror film."

"But you are controlling yourself now, Leah," Jacob pointed out. "You could manage it."

"I know," Leah admitted. "But you see, lately, the plan has kind of evolved."

"How do you mean?"

She looked down at the ground, unable to face him. "I don't see myself doing this alone...I see myself doing this with you." She drew in a deep breath. "Sometimes I see us doing other things- staying on the rez, living in another state...but whatever it is, you are there with me, Jacob."

Jacob placed a finger under her chin, tilting it upwards so that he could look her in the eyes. "I am not just saying this, but I have always wanted to travel. Granted, the lure for me was looking at and getting into different cars in different countries, but I never envisioned that I would stay here forever. And I would fucking love to see you picking fruit."

Leah's eyes widened. "You would do that with me. You think that we could do that together."

"Leah," Jacob said, lowering his lips to hers. "We can do whatever the hell we want."

She was still smiling when their mouths pressed together. For the first time, the thought of a future with Jacob actually brought hope.


	16. Clarification

**A/N: **Once again, I am sending out my thanks to those reading this fic and adding it to all sorts of favourite lists. But of course, I am forever grateful to those who take the time to review. Like always, this message is a completely inadequate way to thank you. It truly is the least that I can do to show my gratitude. This week I bought Chupa Chups for my students, so let's just imagine that you are all getting Chupa Chups as well :)

From your reviews, I can see that you are all loving the sweet stuff that has been occurring between Jacob and Leah- and I love that. But, I do feel a slight need to point out that this fic is in the Angst category. I want to warn you that troubled times are ahead for our favourite wolves.

On that note, I had better leave you alone so that you can continue reading. Let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Catch the Wind_- Donovan, _Fall, Fall,Fall_- Razorlight, _Plans_- Bloc Party

* * *

_**Some eight months ago...**_

_Sue sat in her chair, her back erect. She looked strong and stoic, like she was ready to face anything. Those who were walking past, and did not know, did not give her a second glance. She looked fine. There was obviously no tragic reason for why she was here._

_But Billy, Charlie and Sam knew better. They knew that it was just a facade. That she was fighting furiously to stay calm as doctors worked on her husband behind closed doors. That if she would only allow herself, she would break down in a second. But they knew she wanted to stay strong. For Harry, for Leah, for Seth...and for herself._

"_Charlie." Her voice was hoarse, quiet, but it still startled them all. "Could you please get me a coffee? I just...I need...please just get it as strong as you can."_

_Charlie nodded, and Sam stood up with him. "I'll go with you- we'll get something for all of us," he offered._

_When the two of them had disappeared, Sue turned to Billy. He noticed that she was starting to slip, that she was wringing her hands in her lap and that agitation was written all over her face._

"_I need to talk to you about something, Billy," she started._

_He reached out, putting a hand on her upper arm. "What is it?"_

"_Seth phased," she said, her voice breaking slightly. _

_Billy blanched. Seth was just a baby. To be fourteen years old and have this responsibility placed upon him...He was incredibly proud of his heritage, but at times he struggled to understand. "Ok, well, he is part of the bloodline. We knew that it would happen. We'll just have to make sure that the older ones take care of him, teach him well. Sam will be able to keep him safe."_

"_That's not all," Sue said._

"_What do you mean?" Billy asked._

_Sue looked him in the eyes, fear written all over her face. "Leah did too," she whispered, her voice barely audible._

_Billy inhaled sharply. "What?"_

"_Leah phased too," Sue repeated, her voice stronger. "What does this mean, Billy? In all the time that this has been raised in council meetings, in all the history and mythology there has never been a female wolf. What does it mean? What is going to happen to my daughter?"_

"_I...I don't know," Billy admitted, his mind working at a mile a minute. "But it makes sense now... why Sam didn't imprint on her...he couldn't..."_

_Sue nodded. "I know, but we need to assess how we are going to approach this. I do not want my daughter becoming the freak of the reservation, Billy. It has been so hard for her in the aftermath of Sam, and now with Harry...who knows..." she broke off with a quiet sob. Clasping a hand over her mouth, she inhaled deeply, fighting to keep herself calm. "I do not want her to stick out, to have some stigma attached to her."_

"_Look," Billy's hand moved to Sue's back, moving up and down in comforting circles. "Given Leah's...interactions, I don't think it needs to be a concern of ours. Let's just keep this information amongst us- you, me, Quil Snr and Harry, and if the time ever comes, we will take action then."_

**_XXXXX_**

Sue stepped up to the open front door, and peered inside. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"Come in," came Billy's slightly muffled reply. "I'm in the kitchen."

Sue did so, finding him seated at the table preparing vegetables for what she assumed was that evening's dinner. "Would you like to come around to my place and do that when you're done?" she joked.

"Yeah, so I can butcher both of our dinners," Billy chuckled, putting the knife down. "How are you, Sue?"

"I'm good," she said. "I was just after Jacob. He did some work on my car, and I need to give him money for the parts. Is he around?"

Billy snorted. "Is he around? Nope. Haven't you heard? Jacob is never around, anymore. He has more pressing issues at hand." He paused. "What those issues are, I am not sure."

"Tell me about it," Sue laughed. "Leah is always doing something and whenever we actually get an opportunity to sit down and talk she is so evasive."

"Same old Leah, hey?"

"See, that's the thing," Sue said, sitting down next to him. "She is different. I think that she might finally be over the whole Sam thing. Two weeks ago she actually went away with Emily. I didn't think that I would ever see that friendship repair itself. And she doesn't seem to be freaking out about the whole wolf thing, either. She is actually content with herself, Billy. It is such a relief."

"Well, you know what? Maybe we are actually doing something right as parents. Jacob seems to have turned a new leaf as well. He still spends a lot of time at the Cullen's, but I think that he has accepted his friendship with Bella. He's happy."

"So Jacob has been at the Cullen's a lot?" Sue queried and Billy nodded. "Leah has been going over there frequently as well- to see Seth. She never mentioned seeing Jacob."

Billy raised an eyebrow. "Come on- those two? They would be trying their hardest to avoid each other at all costs."

Sue leaned forward slightly, cupping her chin in her hand. "But..." she trailed off, deep in thought.

Billy's eyes widened. "Oh, come on. You cannot possibly be thinking—"

"And you cannot ignore the fact that certain things are lining up. We both said it- extreme changes in our children at the same time. Maybe I have a suspicious nature, but I cannot help but see the coincidence in all of this."

"Sue, stop it," Billy's tone was firm. "There is nothing going on, because there cannot be anything going on. You know it as well as I do."

Sue nodded. "I also know that we don't have that sort of control, Billy. Nobody does."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah settled herself down into the v-shape of Jacob's legs and leaned back against his chest. The sand beneath her still felt warm from the earlier rare sunny day. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head upwards, imagining the rays hitting her face. She wondered when she and Jacob would get the opportunity to sit on the beach during the day. Wondered if they would ever get to enjoy the sun in public.

She felt Jacob head lower, nuzzling her crook of her neck. She shivered, loving that he could cause such reactions with the slightest of touches. She clasped his hands, bringing his arms tightly around her.

"Hey," he whispered. "Do you feel like a swim?"

Leah laughed softly, curling her toes into the sand. "Not really. That water is cold enough during the day- no matter how much sun we get. I don't even want to think about what it would feel like at 2am in the morning."

"Weakling," Jacob teased. "You got that hot wolf blood running through your veins and you are scared of a little cold water."

"Ok then, why don't you get in first and tell me what it's like."

Jacob was silent for a few moments, before tightening his arms around her. "Nah," he said. "I think I would much rather stay here."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Leah replied with a smile, and then tilted her head up to look at him. "Can we talk about something?"

"Oh oh, should I be scared?"

Leah shook her head. "I've just been thinking..."

"Did it hurt?" Jacob could not help but interject, earning him a slap in return.

"Shut it," Leah admonished. "I am trying to be serious here."

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry," Jacob said, pressing his lips onto the top of her head. "Tell me."

"I was just thinking about us...about our permanency."

Jacob frowned slightly, wondering what she was getting at. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't just want to assume, but we're it for each other...aren't we? For now, for however long we want it to be that way, right?"

"Leah, are you trying to say—"

"Don't," Leah cut in, twisting herself around so that she could face him directly. "I don't want to get into the whole 'will you be my boyfriend' talk. That is just awkward and uncomfortable and so not us...but I guess that I was seeking some clarification. I wanted to hear you say it. We're it, right?"

Jacob nodded. "For as long as you will have me," he said.

Leah paused. "So, it's official- we are serious?"

Jacob leaned forward slightly. "Deadly," he murmured before pressing his lips into hers. Leah allowed herself to savour the touch for several moments before pulling away.

"There is still more," she said. "I don't want to hide anymore."

Jacob reached out, clasping one of her hands. "You want us to start telling people?"

She nodded. "What is the point of hiding? We know that we have something now. I want to see you whenever I want. I want to enjoy what we have as much as possible. I am sick of the sneaking around and I hate that I have been lying to mother."

"Ok then," Jacob agreed. "How do you suggest we do this? "

Leah shrugged. "I thought that we could just start with our parents, and then let the news spread naturally. With the way that people gossip it should only take a couple of days for the news to spread."

Jacob snorted. "A couple of days? Try a couple of hours."

Leah grinned. "True..." she trailed off, running a hand down his cheek. "So, we are really going to do this, hey?"

Jacob nodded. "Uh huh...so I guess that we'd better prepare ourselves. The staring, the whispers, the rumours..."

"Pfft," Leah let out, waving a hand. "Been there, done that. Going public together is going to be a walk in the park. We can totally handle this."

"Together," Jacob clarified.

"Together," she confirmed.

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob hovered nervously outside the living room. He wasn't sure why he was so apprehensive. He knew that Billy was going to be surprised. Hell, he was still under the impression that he and Leah barely tolerated each other. Jacob knew that he could handle shock, laughter even. But there was something tiny irking him. Telling him that something was off, that everything was about to blow sky high.

'_Quit avoiding and take some fucking control,' _he told himself. He wished that Leah was here with him. Why they had decided to do this separately, he did not know. If she were here she would know exactly what to say to make him feel stronger.

'_She would say what you have been telling yourself. Now walk into that room and speak up._'

Drawing in a deep breath, Jacob took several steps forward, until Billy fell into his view.

"Dad," he said and Billy looked up. "Are you busy?"

Billy shook his head. "No. Why?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah walked out of her bedroom and headed towards the backyard, where she knew Sue was, hanging out the washing. She was full of energy- to the point of being jittery. She wanted to blurt her news out as fast as possible. Then she could allow Sue a quick girly celebration before setting off to see Jacob.

To see Jacob and have her mother know exactly where she was and what she was doing...well, maybe not exactly.

"Hey mum. Do you want a hand?" Leah asked, jumping down the back steps.

Sue nodded. "That would be fantastic."

Leah stopped at the washing basket and picked up a towel. "Can I talk to you about something, mum?"

"As long as you keep hanging towels, you can talk about anything you want."

**_XXXXX_**

Billy took in the serious look on his son's face. "What is it? You're not in trouble are you?"

"No,no,no...nothing like that, dad," Jacob replied. "It's anything but trouble."

"Well, then out with it. You can't taunt an old man like this."

Jacob grinned. "Um...I've been seeing someone, dad."

Billy's eyes lit up. "I knew it. Took you long enough to admit it, though. I thought you were never going to let me in."

"Well, there's a little bit more to it. It's actually someone you know."

"Who?" Billy asked, his head cocking to one side.

"Um, Leah Clearwater," Jacob said, watching his father closely for a reaction, but Billy said nothing. All expression dropped from his face as he stared at his son in an incomprehensible silence. "Look, I know that this is a surprise," Jacob continued, hurriedly. "We never got on in the past, but this snuck up on us and believe it or not, dad, we really work together. I was as surprised as you are now."

"No," Billy said. The seriousness of his tone made Jacob's stomach drop.

"What?"

"This can't happen. You need to stop."

Jacob frowned, completely confused. "I have to stop what? I am not joking, dad. I am serious."

"I know that you are not joking, Jacob," Billy replied. "And that is why you need to stop this relationship now."

Jacob stared at his father. "I don't...what?"

"You and Leah," Billy said. "It can't happen and I will not allow it to happen. You need to end this relationship today."

* * *

* m47e47l cowers, preparing herself for the onslaught*


	17. Loyalty

**A/N: **Wow, am I feeling pretty damned chuffed or what? First of all the response to the last chapter was greatest I have ever had. Given that cliffhanger, I thought I would be running from flaming pitchforks, but no. Have I mentioned before that I my reviewers? Second of all, I broke the 200 reviews. Not a big deal for some fanfic writers, but it's freaking massive for me. Have I mentioned before how incredibly amazing reviewers are?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...you truly deserve any good that comes your way.

There were some theories as to Billy's reaction. To put quite a few of you out of your misery, I am telling you now that Leah and Jacob are NOT brother and sister. Ick.

Also, as I mentioned at the start of the last chapter, real life is going to be insanely crazy for me during the next two weeks. I will try to keep up with the once a week update (I know that I have failed several times before), but I truly cannot promise anything. I hate the idea of keeping you waiting, especially when you have been so loyal, but unfortunately I can't always be writing.

So, enough from me, and on with the chapter.

**Music: **_Cruel Guards_- The Panics, _Generals_- The Beautiful Girls, _Silhouettic_- Birds of Tokyo, _Real Love_- Regina Spektor

* * *

"_No," Billy said. The seriousness of his tone made Jacob's stomach drop._

"_What?"_

"_This can't happen. You need to stop."_

_Jacob frowned, completely confused. "I have to stop what? I am not joking, dad. I am serious."_

"_I know that you are not joking, Jacob," Billy replied. "And that is why you need to stop this relationship now."_

_Jacob stared at his father. "I don't...what?"_

"_You and Leah," Billy said. "It can't happen and I will not allow it to happen. You need to end this relationship today."_

**_XXXXX_**

Leah burst into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her and then locking it. She wanted to fight the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes, but found that she had not the energy to do so. Drawing in a shaky breath she leaned against the wood behind her and sank to the ground.

This wasn't right. She should be yelling, she should be screaming...but she couldn't. Once again everything was out of her hands. Decisions were being made that she had no say in. She had tried to fight before, but that got her nowhere. There was nothing that she could do now, except give up.

She no longer had any control.

Forcing herself up, Leah started to make her way over to her bed, when her eyes landed on the small desk in the corner of her bedroom. Slowly, she stepped towards it. Everything was lost, she would be alone once more.

All she wanted was control of her own life. To make her own decisions and live with _those _consequences, and nothing else. Those thoughts continued to run through her mind as she reached out and lightly fingered the shiny blades of the pair of scissors.

Control. She could show them who was going to rule her life...couldn't she?

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob crossed his hands across his chest. "No."

"Jacob," Billy's tone was equally as forceful. "You do not have the option."

"Like fuck I don't!" Jacob spat out. "You cannot just sit there and dictate my life. This is a decision that I get to make- not you. What is your problem with Leah anyway?"

"Jacob, this is so much more than me having a problem with Leah...which I don't...personally, anyway."

Jacob frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You cannot be with Leah, because your relationship has no future," Billy answered. "It cannot turn into something permanent."

Jacob felt his blood boil. "I swear, if you even mention the word imprint, I will phase right here and rip this place to shreds."

Billy shook his head. "This has nothing to do with imprinting...your relationship can have no future because our wolf lore dictates it so."

Jacob shook his head, confused. "And what the fuck is that supposed mean?"

Billy paused, running a hand through his hair. "You are aware that Leah is an...anomaly—"

"She is fucking more than that," Jacob broke in angrily, but stopped as Billy held up a hand.

"If you continue to interrupt me, son, you will not get the explanation that you need," he said, patiently. "It will not be the explanation that you want, but it will be understanding, nonetheless."

"Fine," Jacob threw his hands up in defeat, and slumped down on the couch. "Explain away."

"A female wolf was something that had never been documented, something that we had never heard about in all folk lore. When Leah transformed, there was panic amongst the Elders, as it was something that was a potential threat to our line."

"Leah? A threat?"

Billy nodded. "In order for the wolf line to continue, one parent must be completely human- a person who carries no trace of the wolf gene. In the past, that whole human had always been the female. That is why there is that belief that imprinting exists to ensure the continuation of the wolf line."

Jacob frowned. "Then how the hell do you explain Seth and vampire baby? Have you seen it? That thing is not completely human."

"I know. We were initially worried, but we reconciled that there was no way Seth would have imprinted, unless she was capable of helping continue the line. There is also the fact that she would have absolutely no trace of wolf genes," Billy added.

Jacob brought a hand up to the back of his neck. "So that's why Sam didn't imprint on Leah..." he mused aloud. "She was concerned...thought that she was defective, because she hadn't imprinted...but if she was going to do that, it would have to be with a human, right?"

"Yes," Billy replied. "And that is why we were not concerned about her imprinting on one of the pack, but instead of a situation such as this," he said, gesturing towards Jacob.

Jacob suddenly felt another flash of anger. "What do you mean by 'situation'? Leah and I are still new- having kids is the last fucking thing on my mind at the moment. You seriously want to ruin the one thing in a long time that has made me truly happy because of something that is not going to happen for a massively long fucking time?"

"I cannot allow you to be together, Jacob. We cannot take the chance to let things develop beyond the point of getting out. You are Ephraim Black's great grandson. It is your responsibility...no, your duty to ensure that the Black line- the true Alpha line, continues."

"Well, what about Rachel?" Jacob argued. "Let her and Paul ensure that the Black blood line continues and leave me the fuck alone."

"No, no, no," Billy said, his voice getting louder. "It is not the same. You need to accept this part of your life. You cannot run from it."

"But I didn't fucking ask for this life!" Jacob yelled, standing up. "This is such bullshit. I don't even know where my relationship with Leah will go."

"Yes, you do," Billy countered. "I know both you and her. There was no way you would announcing this news unless you were serious. Unless you saw a future. You would not put yourselves under the scrutiny, otherwise."

"Fine," Jacob said, his dropping to a dangerously low level. "If you are finished, then I am leaving. And, I am going go do whatever the fuck I want, not what you tell me to do."

Billy's eyes flashed as Jacob made to leave the room. "You need to stop only thinking about yourself and your happiness, Jacob."

"All I do is think of others, dad! It's time that I got to focus on me," he replied. "I'll see you whenever I get back."

"I won't allow this, Jacob. I will stop this."

Jacob turned around, and looked his father right in the eye. "What are you going to do, Billy?" his eyes moved down to the wheelchair. "Chase me?"

He turned before he could register any change in his father's expression and walked out of the house.

**_XXXXX_**

Leah was sitting cross legged on her bed, the scissors still in her hand. She wondered where Jacob was right now. She had to assume that he had gotten the same talk from Billy as she did from Sue. Never in her wildest imagination could Leah ever have anticipated Sue forbidding her happiness. Oh, she could tell that it killed her mother to do so. To rip her own daughter to shreds, but still she did it. Chose some stupid fucking heritage over the happiness of her child.

'_What is Jacob going to chose?'_

Leah inhaled sharply at that thought. She wanted so much to believe that he wouldn't give up on her. After all, he was the one who fought so hard for them to begin with. It was him who truly initiated their relationship, not her. She tried so hard to clutch onto that thought, but...

He was an Alpha. His responsibility as a wolf was so much more than hers. She had no idea what sort of pull that could have on a person. Jacob was such a loyal person. The question was, where did his true loyalties lie?

Leah's heart suddenly seized with fear. He wouldn't choose her. He would stay with the pack. She could understand that. After all, what was more important- her or allowing for the protection of innocents in the generations to come? She could understand, but that didn't stop her stomach from churning at the thought.

She bit down on her bottom lip, stopping herself from yelling out. This was why she didn't want to get involved with Jacob in the first place. It was inevitable that they would be driven apart. Her mind had been telling her that from the get go. Why the fuck hadn't she listened? Why, why, why?

Tired of fighting it, Leah let out a yell and forcibly threw the scissors across the room. She watched as they drove into the wall, staying horizontal for several moments before plunging to the floor with a dull thud.

She let out a bitter laugh. She couldn't do it. What was the point of fighting for control when there was nothing worth fighting for?

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob stood at the edge of the water, thankful for the threatening clouds above. The strip of sand was empty as nobody wanted to spend time in the vicious waves today.

"Fucking fucked fuckers!" he screamed out to the horizon. He briefly wondered what would happen if he made his way out into the waves and simply let himself go. No more rules, no more responsibility, no more restrictions...no more...

No more Leah. His eyes closed at that thought. Surely Sue would have given her the same story. A part of him feared that it would only add to Leah's fears...

Leah. Her face flashed in his mind and he turned at that instant, walking to where he should be. And there was nobody who would be able to stop him.

**_XXXXX_**

A thumping at her window caused Leah to jolt awake. She sat up with a gasp, catching a quick glance at her clock. It had been a couple of hours. She didn't even remember lying down on her bed, let alone falling asleep.

She watched as a familiar figure crawl thought the window and then straightened up.

"Jake," she breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"Why the fuck do you think I am here?" he asked, crossing the room to her bed. He sat down on the edge and then pulled her tightly in her arms.

"But," Leah pushed herself away. "Didn't Billy tell you..."

Jacob's brow knitted together in a frown. "Yes."

"But then..." Leah trailed off, unsure if she should continue.

"Leah, what are you—" he cut, his eyes widening with realisation. "You thought that I would agree with Billy. That I would give up on us because of some ancient fucked up lore?"

"Yes...no...I don't know," Leah stammered. "All I know is that Sue told me that we had to end it, and I started freaking out. I was got so scared when I thought that I might not ever see you again, and then I got even more scared at the fact that I was so scared...oh god," she paused, running a hand through her hair. "I am rambling. I don't know. Part of me really thought that this was over. You're the Alpha, Jake. I get that. I would understand if you wanted to end this."

Jacob exhaled loudly. "There is not a chance in hell that I am ending this. They can all go fuck themselves as far as I am concerned."

Leah raised a hand, placing it on his cheek. "Do you really mean that? It means turning your back on who you are, on who you are meant to be."

"No, it means turning my back on something I never chose, and being with the one person that I want," Jacob corrected. "I don't care about some stupid gene. I am not thinking about future generations right now. All I am thinking about is the person sitting in front of me."

"But—"

"Jesus Leah!" Jacob cut her off, abruptly. "Why are still questioning this? Don't you get what I am saying? All of what Billy said to me today means nothing. Nothing, nada, zip, fuck all. And it means nothing to me because I fucking love you."

Leah gasped, leaning back slightly. "What did you just say?"

"Umm," Jacob hesitated, running a hand over the top of his head. "Please don't freak out...just forget it. I don't want to scare you...I know what we were told today will probably just exacerbate the whole imprinting thing and –"

"Jacob," Leah cut him off with a laugh. "Shut up."

He blinked. "Huh?"

She cupped his face with both hands. "Shut up, you moron. I fucking love you, too."

For a moment Jacob thought that she was playing some sick joke on her. He had come to accept that no matter how serious he and Leah got, she would be unable to give herself to him completely. And he was able to understand that. As soon as he blurted out that declaration he wanted to sew his mouth shut- if there was one sure fire way to make her run...

Then she returned the sentiment, and of course it had to be a joke, right?

But now she was pressing her lips against his. "I love you, Jacob," she whispered, as if reading his thoughts, and then pushed her tongue against his.

Jacob responded eagerly, circling his arms around her. He shifted them back so that he was sitting up against Leah's pillows, with her straddled across his lap. She circled her hips, grounding them into his as her breathing intensified. She felt Jacob's hand move to the hem of her shirt, and she raised her hands expectantly.

But Jacob did not immediately remove her shirt. Instead his eyes had shifted towards her door. "What about..." he trailed off, leaving the rest of question unsaid.

"It's fine," Leah reassured, pressing down on him harder, causing him to groan. "It's locked."

That was all Jacob needed and he had her top removed in an instant. At the sight of her braless chest, he let out a low hiss and cupped them, his finger and thumb tweaking her nipples. The sensation sent a shock right to Leah's core, and she threw her head back, rubbing into him more, wanting desperately to increase the friction between the two of them.

"Leah," Jacob breathed, as his hand grasped the back of her neck, pulling her face close to his. "I need you so fucking bad."

"I need you, too," she murmured before forcibly crushing her lips into his. The next few moments were spent with the two of them frantically fumbling to remove each other's clothes. When they were finally in a on the floor, Leah could not help but moan at the feeling of Jacob's hot skin against more. The intensity between them was brimming- there was so much more at stake now. And it only made her want him more.

"Leah," Jacob whispered as he trailed his lips along her jaw and down her neck. He found a pulse point and focused on that, sweeping his tongue around and sucking it. He grinned, keeping his lips in place, as he heard Leah's sighs. Her hands circled around his head, her fingernails scraping through his hair. As he moved his lips back to her mouth, he trailed a hand down her stomach and sliding it in between her wet folds.

Leah shifted her hips, moving with his finger as it rubbed against her clit. "Mmmm," she sighed, her nails digging pleasurably into his scalp. She pressed her lips harder into his, curling her tongue around his, wanting to savour the taste. For brief moment she wondered how she ever could have doubted Jacob wanting to be with her, and then the thought was gone forever.

Jacob pressed his thumb against her clit, and poised a finger at her entrance. But before he could slide it in, Leah pulled her mouth from his, and grabbed his hand with one of her. "No," she shook her head. Jacob took a moment to take her in- with her mussed up hair and swollen lips, she was the most incredible thing he had ever laid eyes on.

"What is it?" he asked, trying to move his hand towards her, but she stopped him.

"All of you- I need all of you," she replied, shifting her hips upwards. Jacob complied and moved his hands to her hips, to help guide her down onto him. Leah let out a moan as she felt him fill her. She moved her hand back to his neck, pulling him closer. Resting her forehead against his, she started to move, up and down, circling her hips, wanting to feel as much of him as she could.

Jacob exhaled deeply, gripping her hips, feeling her walls tight around him. Her skin was starting to feel slick under his grip, as a light sheen of sweat built up. Her hands behind her neck kept their faces together, so close that they were sharing the same air as their breathing grew more laboured and erratic.

"Don't stop," he moaned, as she continued to manoeuvre her hips around him. He released one hand off her hip and ran it up her back, fisting it in her hair. "You are fucking amazing," he said, and then ran his tongue along her neck, tasting her sweat, before crushing his lips hungrily into hers.

Leah groaned into his mouth, slamming down harder, wanting him as deep as possible. She could feel that delicious coil in her stomach tightening and knew that it would not be all that long until her release. "Jake," she whispered, keeping their lips together. "I'm gonna—"

"Me too," he grunted. "Don't fucking stop." He pulled her head back slightly, so that they could look each other in the eyes, and then thrusted upwards to meet her motions.

The coil deepened, sending sparks all over her body. Leah fought the urge to close her eyes and throw her head back, wanting instead to watch Jacob. Watch him as she came, and then watch him do the same thing.

"Jake...Jake...oh..." she panted, their eyes never separating.

"I know...I know..." he murmured, and then moved one of his hands between them, pressing his thumb against her clit. That single movement sent shock waves through Leah's entire body.

"Fuck yes," she hissed, increasing the movement of her hips. Jacob continued to rub against her clit, watching as her breaths grew shorter and shorter, until she suddenly cried out and clamped down over him. "Jake...oh...yes...ugh!"

He thrusted upwards several more times as she tightened and pulsed around him. He pressed his thumb, adding pressure to her clit and causing her to jolt. It was all his needed for his own release.

"Oh...fuck yes!" Jacob let out a loud guttural moan, circling his arms around her back to keep them as close as possible. He moved against her a few more times, enjoying the trembles it caused through her body.

"Jake," Leah sighed. She moved herself up slightly, allowing him to slide out of her. Keeping his arms around her, he pulled them both down, so that their heads were on the pillows, the rest of their bodies a tangle of limbs. As Leah pressed herself tightly up against his side, he grabbed the covers, throwing them over the two of them.

"I love you," he murmured, pressing his lips onto her forehead, which was damp with her sweat.

"I love you, too," Leah replied, already drifting off to sleep.

Jacob knew that there were things they were going to need to discuss and figure out. But for now, he was content to just lie and fall to sleep, with the girl he loved in his arms.

He knew that they had to savour these moments, because they had absolutely no idea what was around the corner.


	18. Breakout

**A/N: **Ok, so it has been much too long since I have last updated, and I do apologise for that. However, I did warn you all that I had some epic stuff going on in real life (epic as in amazinging awesome) and writing really has been impossible for the past few weeks. I am not saying this to make excuses, because that is just how life gets sometimes, but I really want you to understand my delay in updating.

So, I want to thank you all for patience, and I hope that this absence hasn't pissed you off too much. And to continue with the thank yous (as always)- my wonderful readers for clicking on and reading my little baby. It still stuns me that people actually want to read my writing. And what completely blows me away is those who take the time to review. It is because of you that I have been feeling so guilty at not updating sooner. I feel like I am letting you down. Hopefully, now that things have calmed down, I can focus on a more regular update. But once again, thank you reviewers. You make me smile and give me a rea 'woo hoo' moment when I open my email and see your responses.

So, onto the story. Thnigs are really starting to build up now and I hope that you all stay along for the ride. Let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Little Cloud_- The Whitlams, _I Me You_- Jim Noir, _Burn_- Ray LaMontagne, _Space They Cannot Touch_- Kate Miller-Heidke.

* * *

Emily lifted the wooden spoon her mouth to taste the sauce. It was fine, and so she covered the saucepan with its lid and turned to place the pasta on the stove. A smile crossed her face when she heard the front door open and familiar footsteps making their way to the kitchen.

"Hey, how was..." she trailed off as she caught sight of Sam's strained expression. "What's wrong?"

"Billy called an emergency council meeting today," he responded, sitting at the table and running a hand through his hair. "And the topic of that meeting- the apparent relationship between Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater."

Emily stilled. "Oh," was her reply.

Sam looked up at her, reading her expression and his eyes widened slightly. "You knew?"

She nodded, sitting down next to him. "Yes."

"For how long?"

"Since the Ateara's thing. I might have...um," she coughed lightly, "caught them." She reached out, clasping Sam's hand. "I'm sorry that I kept this from you, but Leah asked me not to. She wanted the news to get out on their terms."

Sam's hand tightened around hers. "Em, you have nothing to apologise about. You were being a friend...and I'm assuming that things between you and Leah would be slightly less icy now."

Emily nodded. "The bridge is slowly being built," she replied and then cocked her head to one side as Sam's announcement truly registered. "But why were Leah and Jacob the topic of a council meeting?"

"We have all been instructed to ensure that the two of them stay away from one another."

Emily's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"A relationship between two wolves is forbidden- it has to do with carrying on the line. And given that Jacob is a Black, there are some major issues concerning him. They are freaking out about future generations without Black blood."

"No," Emily replied, forcefully, her tone shocking Sam slightly. "They-you- cannot do that. Leah is happy. She is moving on with her life. Sam, you should have heard her talk about Jacob. They are in love- you cannot mess with that."

Sam shook his head slowly. "Em, I'm not sure that I can—"

"Speak to Billy," she replied firmly. "You are an Alpha, surely that has to count for something."

Sam simply nodded. He didn't have the heart to remind Emily that Jacob was, in fact, the true Alpha, and not even he had a voice in this situation.

**_XXXXX_**

Prison. That is what the house had become to Jacob- a prison. Billy had taken to watching him like a hawk. And on top of that, members of the wolf pack had suddenly felt the need to be dropping around every single day, attempting to entice Jacob into a myriad of activities.

And every time he refused, they simply shrugged and remained in the house- obviously under directions to not leave him alone.

Jacob could see the intense curiousness in their eyes, but he said nothing, gave them nothing. He knew that they would be getting enough from the reservation grapevine. Of course, the majority of people had no idea about the wolf lore, but the news of his and Leah's relationship had spread. He could see it in people's eyes during the few times he left the house. With a babysitter, of course.

So, instead, he sat there, in stony silence, letting his fury build and build. Quil, Embry, Jarrod- all of them would have been told why they had to babysit him and they actually fucking did it. Whatever friendship there was between him and they was now gone. He would never forgive them, or his father, for this.

**_XXXXX_**

"Where are you going?"

Leah froze, her hand on the handle of the back door.

"For a walk," she snapped at her mother.

"Oh good," Sue replied brightly. "I'll come to. It's a gorgeous day outside."

Leah's hand dropped limply from the door and she felt the sharp prick of tears behind her eyes. She was tired and she was exhausted, and all she wanted was to feel Jacob's arms around her as she drifted off to sleep.

"Fine," she said, her voice quiet but edged with venom. "_You _go for a walk, but I will stay here."

Sue changed her path almost immediately, heading to the fridge. "We can have a girl's night in- come on, you can help me with dinner."

Leah let out an exasperated cry, and stalked out of the kitchen. The tears were threatening to spill over and she did not want Sue to see her cry.

"Leah- please—"

"Don't!" Leah just held up a hand as she walked past, refusing to look her mother. "Just don't. You have already done fucking enough."

"Leah, don't say that. I am just trying to do the right thing."

Leah whirled around. "The right thing?" She jabbed a finger at the tears that were now falling freely. "How the fuck is this the right thing, mother? Do you feel right about this? Is it right for you to watch your daughter like this?"

"No, it's not," Sue replied desperately. "But this is so much bigger than the two of us. Can you please try to understand how hard this is for me? I hate that I am doing this to you, Leah. I hate it."

"Then stop fucking doing it!" Leah screamed. "Let me live my life if it is so fucking hard!"

"Leah," Sue stepped forward, attempting to grasp Leah's arm, but she wrenched herself out of the way. "Sweetheart, I want to...I really want to..."

"Then please," Leah begged. "Please just let me go to him. Let me happy."

"Leah, honey, I—"

"Please mum," Leah choked out. "Please mum. Please- together we can make a stand. Please let me go."

"I want..." Sue trailed off, and then shook her head forcefully. "I am sorry, Leah, but I can't. This is too big and there are much better things planned for you. Your future cannot be with Jacob."

Leah's eyes narrowed. "My future," she hissed, "will be whatever I decide it to be. Not what some council decides it to be."

"Leah, your life is so much more than just you. You were made aware of that after you phased."

Leah was shaking her head at this. "No!" she yelled. "My life is my life! Mine! My future is with my own choices and decisions- not what is forced upon me without consideration. Fate and destiny does not decide who I am and what I do- I fucking do!"

"Leah—"

"Listen to me!" she screamed. "Why won't you listen to me? Why do you listen to everyone else but your own daughter?"

"I am doing what you father would have done, Leah," Sue replied. "I hate this and I know that it is hard on you, but it is what must be done."

Leah drew in a deep breath and looked her mother square in the eye. "I hate you," she said, softly. "And I will never forgive you for this."

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob could hear knocking at the front door, but chose to ignore it. It would only be another one of Billy's henchmen to keep him chained to the house. Rolling over, he pulled the blanket up over his head and closed his eyes. If he were lucky, he could fall back asleep and pass a few hours without having to feel anything.

Unfortunately, someone else had another idea, he realised, when he heard the front door open. Fuck, he must have forgotten to lock it.

"Jake," Sam's voice could be heard before he appeared in the doorway. "Jake- you need to get up."

"So are you now in on this, Sam? I should have figured. What did you do? Give them all an Alpha command to make sure that they all follow the prison guard orders?" Jacob replied bitterly, not even rolling over so that he could look Sam in the face.

"No, you ass," Sam spat back. "I have been doing all I can to convince Billy to drop this fucking intervention."

Now that got Jacob's attention. He sat up abruptly to face Sam, his jaw dropped slightly. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Leah had told everything to Em, and when all this shit hit the fan, she told me. She told me that I couldn't go along with this, and so I tried..."

Jacob took in the expression on Sam's face. "You tried?"

"Billy wouldn't have a bar of it," he replied. "I am so sorry, Jake. I really did try."

Jacob shrugged, trying to disguise the immense disappointment that coursing through him. "Thanks...I didn't think that...I wasn't sure..."

A slight grin crossed Sam's face. "Well, my first reaction was to come and rip off your limbs. Whatever shit has gone down between Leah and me, I am still damn protective of that girl."

"And what? That urge to maim has just disappeared?"

"With a little help from Emily," Sam said. "Now, you need to get up."

"I don't think so."

"Well, I do. I told Billy that I am taking you on patrol today."

"Oh no," Jacob shook his head. "You are not one of warden's. I am not going to play along with that shit."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You don't want to get up? Ok then- but can I use your phone? I will need to call Em. She picked Leah up for a shopping trip about fifteen minutes ago..." he trailed off, the silence loaded with unsaid information.

Jacob felt a jolt in the pit of stomach. "You mean..."

Sam nodded. "Leah sent the message about your place- said you would know what she was talking about."

Jacob leapt out of the bed. "Sam, are you sure about this? If Billy finds out you are going to be in deep."

"I don't care- this is the right thing to do," Sam said. "But you should hurry. I don't know if we'll be able to get away with this a second time, so you do not want to waste this."

Jacob went to grab a t-shirt, but then paused. "Sam, how can I—"

"You do not need to do anything except go," he directed. "But Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"You treat her right or—"

"I'll be missing a few limbs?" Jacob finished with a grin.

Sam nodded. "Exactly," he said. "Now- go!"

**_XXXXX_**

Leah sat at the edge of the river bank in the clearing, trailing her toes in the water. She shivered, knowing that it had nothing to do with the frigid temperature, but with the fact Jacob would be here soon. A slow grin formed on her face. Sue had fallen for Emily's shopping story hook, line and sinker. Before she knew it, she was outside with hours of freedom to spend with the one person she had been longing to see for so many days.

She let out a small laugh and kicked her foot into the water, watching the droplets fly into the sky. She felt good, relaxed. She knew that feeling would dissipate as soon as she returned home, but she wasn't going to focus on that. She was going to enjoy herself.

"Leah."

At the sound of his voice, Leah turned her head to look over her shoulder, a wide smile spreading on her face. "Hey you."

He crossed the space between in a matter of seconds and pulled her up and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She inhaled deeply, taking in his scent. It was home and she had missed it.

"Oh fuck, I missed you," Jacob murmured into her hair, mirroring her thoughts.

"Me too," Leah replied, craning her neck up so that she look at him. "I thought that they were going to succeed- that we would never get to do this again." Her voice faltered slightly. "I thought I wasn't going to be able to see you, alone, again."

"Hey," Jacob's hands moved her upper arms. "They are not going to get away with this. They are not going to win." He dipped his head, pressing his lips into hers. "The only people who can keep us apart is us," he whispered against her. "That decision only gets to come from us."

Leah brought a hand up, fingering the collar of his t-shirt. "We are going to have to fight every step of the way...what is that going to do to us?" She rested her palm against his cheek. "I mean, I will fucking do anything to be with you...but in the long run, what is that constant struggle going to do to us?"

"Destroy us," Jacob replied and Leah blinked at the bluntness of his words. "And I think that is what they are counting on. That we will fight until we have nothing to fight for."

Leah took a step back. "We can't let them do this, Jake. We have to stand up; I can't have things end like that. I can't have them dictating my fucking life- our fucking life."

"I know," Jacob replied. "And I have an idea."

"What?"

"We leave," Jacob replied. "We leave the reservation and let all of them live the life they want, while we can have ours."

Leah had frozen in the spot, stunned, not at his suggestion, but at the fact that it had not occurred to her. "Where would we go?" she asked.

"Wherever the fuck we want to," Jacob replied. "We can do what we talked about. Pack a bag and see the world. Work where we want to work, see what we want to see, do what we want to do. Nothing ruling us, nothing challenging us except for our own selves."

Excitement was builing up in the pit of Leah's stomach. She took a step closer to him, hopeful for the first time in days. "Can we go somewhere warm first? Somewhere hot and dry, where there is no damp or moss or constant rain clouds." She paused, a smile forming slowly on her face. "Australia. The outback. That has got to be the opposite of this place."

"We can go wherever we want," Jacob grinned, pulling her in for a tight hug.

"I want to leave now," Leah murmured. "Shit."

Jacob pulled back slightly. "What is it?"

"I don't have a passport. Do you know how long that shit takes? And Sue will pick up on it if I start chasing up birth certificates...and they would find us. They would be able to trace us, names, credit cards...how are we going to pull this off?"

"Shhh," Jacob said, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips onto the top of her head. "I don't have a passport either...but trust me when I say we will do this, and we will do this soon."

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob paused outside the house and waited silently. Moments later a figure walked out the front door, a concerned expression written all over his face.

"Jacob- that what you are really going to do—"

Jacob held up a hand, stopping them. "You just got all the info, Edward, and it's all decided. It all just depends on whether you are going to help us or not."


	19. Sure

**A/N: **Ok, so I was browsing through the boards at the New Moon IMDB board, and could not believe it when I actually saw some people recommending my fic there! I was so excited that I wanted to jump up and run around the room screaming. Thank you so much to those wonderful people who love this story enough to actually tell someone about it. You give me the warm and fuzzies :)

On the note of this chapter being delayed, I apologise. But, for some reason, this baby just did not want to be written. I had it planned, it sounded simple...but it just didn't happen and I have no idea why. So, I really had to force this one out and I hope that given this fact, it still gets your approval. Writer's block really is a nasty bitch.

And of course, the thank yous. Thank you to everyone reading this story and most of all to those wonderful people taking the time to send me a review. I love you, you are awesome. Simple as that :)

**Jlforever: **Hey thanks for the feedback. Yeah, Jared was spelt incorrectly- thanks for picking that up. The problem is I teach a Jarrod and am friends with a Jarrod, so that was an error that didn't even register. As for apologise, I am an Aussie, so we spell those words (apologise, summarise, organise etc) with an 's' instead of a 'z'.

* * *

_Jacob paused outside the house and waited silently. Moments later a figure walked out the front door, a concerned expression written all over his face._

"_Jacob- is that what you are really going to do—"_

_Jacob held up a hand, stopping them. "You just got all the info, Edward, and it's all decided. It all just depends on whether you are going to help us or not."_

Edward took a step forward, running a hand through his hair. "You really want to leave?"

"We don't want to leave," Jacob replied. "But we need to. You saw in my head, Cullen. I showed you absolutely everything just then. Tell me that we have another choice."

"I understand your reasoning completely," Edward said. "But it just seems so drastic. Won't you regret leaving all your family and friends without a goodbye? Are you really that angry?"

Jacob exhaled loudly. "This is not an act of anger. We will not be doing this to get back at Billy and Sue. As much as they are all pissing me off, leaving will be one of the hardest things we will do. But this isn't going to be forever. This will give Leah and me the time to decide what we want to be."

Edward nodded. "Ok then."

"You'll help?" Jacob clarified.

"Yes," Edward said. "So, passports- you want a different name?"

"Uh huh..." Jacob trailed off. "This sounds so over the top, like we are running from the law, but we just want some time without interruption. Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does," Edward said. "So, I will organise passports, birth certificates and drivers licenses in both your names and alias. Should that do it?"

"I have no idea- you tell me. I'm sure that you have done this relocation thing more than once."

Edward grinned. "Touché. With those three identifications, you should be fine. I can organise plane tickets as well, if you want?" Jacob nodded. "Where did you want to go?"

"Australia," Jacob responded immediately. "Leah wants to go to Australia."

"Ok then. I should have everything in several days, a week tops," Edwards said. "Now—"

"Hang on," Jacob interjected. "How much for the paperwork?"

"I'll let you know," Edward said. "I need to speak with my contact."

"Ballpark figure?" Jacob asked, suddenly concerned. It had only just occurred to him that false documents would not come at a cheap price.

"Don't worry," Edward said, reading Jacob's thoughts. "Our contact is somewhat...apprehensive of us. He is well aware that something is not quite...right, with the Cullen family. I'll play that to your advantage; ensure that you get the fairest price possible."

Jacob just nodded, unable to find words. His and Edward's relationship had been...amicable...at the best of times, but here he was, going out of his way to help. Even given their past, all that Jacob had done to break him and Bella apart, Edward had been nothing that supportive of him and Leah. Which was more than Jacob could say about his own damn family.

"Jacob." He felt Edward's icy hand on his shoulder. "We have both behaved regrettably. Let's just call this our fresh slate, hey? I'll contact you in the next couple of days to go over the logistics- getting you to the airport and out of the country for starters."

Jacob could only reach out and shake Edward's hand. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. Now go- let Leah know. I am sure that she is waiting. We'll speak soon."

As Jacob departed all he could think of was that words were nowhere near enough. There would be no way in which he could truly thank Edward for what he was doing. No way at all.

_**XXXXX**_

The beach was pitch black and the waves were eerily still. Leah stretched out on the sand, enjoying the sensation of the granules moulding themselves to her back and shoulders. Her mind wandered to what it would be like to lie on the beach, in the sun, with Jacob by her side. If he brought good news with him tonight, that thought could be made a reality in the near future.

She shivered in anticipation, but at the same time was fighting hard not to get her hopes up to high. '_Do not set yourself up for the big fall,'_ she told herself.

Leah suddenly tensed, sensing Jacob's nearness. The darkness prevented her from seeing him, but she knew that she was near.

"Jake," she whispered softly as approached and moved into her eyesight.

Without a word he sat next to her and pulled her up into his tight and warm embrace. With nothing more than a sigh, he pressed his lips into hers, running his tongue along her bottom lip. Leah opened her mouth with a soft moan, letting herself melt into his arms. She moved her own hands to the nape of his neck, grasping it tightly, pressing him closer to her.

With a groan, Jacob pulled his lips from hers, but remained close in proximity. "Wait," he murmured, his breath warm on Leah's face. "We gotta talk."

Leah nodded. "What happened this afternoon?"

"I spoke to Edward."

She reared back slightly, her eyes widening. "What?"

"He is going to help up," Jacob replied. "Within the week we will have everything that we need to leave and live whatever life we want to have."

Leah exhaled loudly, completely stunned. "A week? Really? That soon?"

Jacob nodded. "That soon."

"I thought...wow...I thought...." she trailed off.

"Leah," Jacob cupped her face with his hands. "Look at me. This is it, ok? Are you sure that you want to do this? We will be leaving without saying goodbye and will probably not be able to return for a long time. Are you sure? Do you really want to do this?"

Leah looked him clear in the eye. "I have never been surer of anything else."

"Well thank fuck for that," Jacob declared with a grin. "Have I told you that I love you?"

"Yeah," Leah whispered, brushing her lips against his. "But not nearly enough."

"You," Jacob said, tucking a strand of Leah's hair behind her ear, "are going to turn me into one of those cheesy saps from a B-grade romance, aren't you?"

Leah shook her head as she repositioned herself so that she was straddled across his lap. "I was thinking more along the lines of X-rated," she murmured into his ear.

"Well, I am completely amenable to that," he replied, falling back into the sand, and pulling Leah down so that she was lying along his body. As her lips started to trail along his jaw line and down to his neck, he slid his hands under her shirt, revelling in the soft heat of her skin. Knowing what they were going to do in a little over a week had suddenly made what they had so much more. While leaving was going to be one of the hardest things he had ever done, all Jacob could think of was that Leah had given all of herself to him, and a future that they would be planning together. That was something that he thought he would never get to have with her. And right now, he could not wait to start that, to experience all of her.

"Jacob," her breath tickled his ear. "What are you waiting for?"

Grinning, Jacob grasped the hem of her shirt and was about to peel it off her when a squeal broke through the air. A squeal which did not sound all that far away.

"Fuck!" The both of them hissed in unison, and scrambled up towards a formation of rocks nearby. The darkness was a friend to them, but neither was willing to get caught.

"Who is it?" Leah whispered, squinting her eyes, trying to spot whoever it was.

"I'm not sure," Jacob replied. "I can't—"

"Jared!" The voice yelled out. "If you throw me in, I will kill you!"

Jacob looked down at Leah. "Jared and Kim," he said.

She sighed. "I guess that we are not the only ones to take advantage of La Push at night. Suppose we're lucky that we haven't been caught." She slumped back against the rocks, listening to the interaction of her two friends. She couldn't help but feel jealous- and angry. They could be together whenever they wanted. Why did they have to come here, and take away what precious moments she could get with Jacob? They didn't have to hide and sneak around. What right did they have?

'_They don't know you're here- you don't want anybody to know that you are here,' _she reminded herself, silently. _'They are happy and having fun. Don't blame them- it's not their fault._'

Leah felt Jacob's arm wrap around her, and pull her closer to him. She smiled to herself, knowing that he had sensed the change in her mood. "You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, and then nodded towards the water. "They sound so happy, don't they?"

"Hey," Jacob said, cupping her chin with one of his hands. "We've got that too."

"I know, it's just that...having to hide to be happy..."

"I get it. The situation is utter bullshit and completely unfair," he stated bluntly. "But, soon we won't have to hide. Soon we can be whatever we want to be, whenever we want to be. Focus on that, Leah."

She nodded a few times, before looking up at him. "Where are we going first?"

"Australia," Jacob replied, feeling a pull at the pit of his stomach where a large smile broke out on Leah's face. "You said that you wanted to go there."

"Which state?" she asked eagerly. She had seen images of the pristine beaches and was already picturing her and Jacob stretching on the sand, in the sun.

Jacob shrugged. "No idea. I just gave Edward the country. He'll get us there, and then we decided where to next."

A small, excited shiver ran through Leah's body. "You know, I hate the fact that we are being forced to run, but I really cannot wait. It's going to be amazing, isn't it? Travelling together, seeing the world..." she trailed off, her eyes widening. "Fuck Jake- we are going to be leaving in what? A week? We have got to get organised! What are we going to take? How exactly are we going to get away? Billy and Sue will be watching us like hawks. How are we going to get off the reservation and on a plane without anyone ringing an alarm bell?"

"Well, uh...I actually had an idea about that," Jacob said, running a hand through his hair. "We need to get Billy and Sue to back off, right?"

Leah nodded. "But we have Buckley's chance of doing that."

"Maybe not. I can think of one way that they would step back," he paused. "Take away their reason for being on our back's in the first place."

"But..." Leah's eyebrows rose. "You want us to break up?" He nodded. "You think that will work? They are not stupid- they both know that we wouldn't back down this easily."

"I'm willing to bet that if we play our cards right, their guilt in causing their children such unhappiness will result in them taking that ever needed step back."

Leah's brow furrowed in thought. "I'm concerned."

"Leah, trust me on this. I really think that—"

"Oh, I think that your idea has merit and that is what is concerning me right now," she interjected with a smile.

Jacob's expression turned to one of confusion. "I don't understand."

"This," she pointed a finger towards him, "deviousness is something I never realised you had. Just don't ever direct it towards me, ok?"

He laughed, and then clasped one of her hands between his. "So," he started, "we're breaking up?"

She nodded. "We're breaking up," she said, leaning up to press her lips into his.

_**XXXXX**_

Leah pushed open the front door, brushed the sand from her feet and then walked inside. Her mother was asleep- but not for long. She and Jacob had decided that their best option was to go straight home and cause a scene.

Drawing in a deep breath, Leah turned and slammed the door shut with all her might. Letting out a yell, she threw her bag against the wall. The thud echoed through the house, and it was only seconds later that she heard her mother stumbling down the hallway.

"What..." she heard Sue mutter as she stepped out and spotted her daughter.

Leah marched past her, towards the kitchen. "Go back to bed, mum."

"Leah, what is the matter? What is..." Sue suddenly trailed off, as she followed Leah. "Where have you been? I cannot believe that you snuck out of the house, young lady. Tell me- where were you?"

Leah whirled around. "I was with Jacob."

Sue inhaled sharply. "What? You were—"

"Just stop it mum- I don't want to hear it," Leah snapped. "And besides, it doesn't frakking matter, because you got what you wanted."

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Sue asked.

"We're done, mum," Leah said. "You and Billy can go celebrate and find some whore for Jake to make lots of wolf babies with, because we are done. It's over."

"Over?" Sue sounded dubious. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Leah yelled. "You happened! Billy happened! It was too much. Do you have any idea what it was like sneaking around, trying to find some moment that we could have together. Do you know what it is like to have a parent try to monitor and control every aspect of your life? Do you know how hard it is to see other people happy in relationships and know that that can never be you because it's not _allowed_? Do you know what sort of pressure that causes? Do you know what sort of cracks start to appear because of that pressure? No. Because if you did, you would have backed the fuck off this vendetta that you and Billy have."

"Leah," Sue took a step towards her. "I am—"

"Just stop," Leah held up a hand. "I was happy, mum. I loved him...I still love him. But you and Billy ruined that. I was _happy_. But I am not anymore. Thanks mum."

With that, she brushed past Sue and walked straight to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, Leah slumped to the floor, the expression on her mother's face burnt on her mind. She had completely crushed Sue and she felt awful for it. Yes, she hated everything that Sue was trying to do at the moment, but she was still her mother. And in a week's time, she would be gone with no idea of when she would be back.

'_You'll find a way_,' Leah told herself. '_You'll find a way to mend things before you go.'_

At that thought, Leah stood and made her way to her wardrobe. She had some packing to plan.


	20. Ready

**A/N: **Ok, so I am back, after another delay. Unfortunately, that is life and while I would love to be writing about these characters all day, every day, there is a living to be earned, which means lesson plans, marking, meetings and whole lot of other lovely things. (I hope that it doesn't sound like I am a whingy brat- I really love my job. If only it did not consume so much time...)

Anyway, as always I would like to send out my gratitude to my wonderful readers. I love you all. Hope that doesn't sound creepy given that, you know, I don't actually _know _you :) And of course, I cannot forget the special shout out to that special breed of person- reviewers. You make my day, week, month. To be honest, I cannot really put into words how much I love you. (An I getting creepy again?)

On a different note, I feel like I need to let you know that we are moving into the back end of the story. At this point, it is looking like there will be 30 chapters, plus an epilogue, in all. This number is subject to change as I am continuously tweaking with the content of chapters, so I will keep you informed.

Now, I have kept you waiting long enough, so please go read the chapter and let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Float On_- Modest Mouse, _Crazy in Love_- The Magic Numbers, _Invincible_- Muse.

* * *

Jacob walked into the kitchen, watching Billy out of the corner of his eye. As predicted, his father visibly stiffened when he realised that he was no longer alone. It had been like this for the past few days, ever since he had broken the news of his and Leah's 'break up'. Billy had barely spoken to him since.

Jacob sighed inwardly, as he opening the refrigerator. Yes, the point was to guilt their parents to get them to back off, but he was pretty sure that he had taken the plan to a whole new level. He wondered briefly how Billy had managed to clean up all the shards of glass in the living room.

He turned and looked at his father. Yes, everything that he had said to Billy had been true. He had only been vocalising all the frustrations that had been building up recently. Blaming Billy for what they had to do, without actually saying it. But...in a few days he would be gone. He would not get to say a real good bye and had no idea as to when he would get to see Billy again. He did not want to leave things between them like this.

"Dad," he said quietly.

Billy jerked slightly, before looking up to meet his son's eyes. "Yes."

'I hate us being like this, dad. I don't want us to be like this," he started.

Billy's eyes closed briefly, and when they opened Jacob could clearly read the relief in them. "I hate it, too. I hate what I have caused."

Jacob held up a hand. "Dad, I don't want to get into that conversation again- we both know how it is going to end. I don't agree with the decisions you have made and I will never agree with them. But I don't want to spend my days hating and being angry. It exhausting...and I miss us."

A small smile crossed Billy's face as he wheeled closer to Jacob. "I was beginning to think that I had lost you forever...and I had no idea how I was going to live with that."

Jacob tried not to flinch at Billy's words. "Dad, you will never lose me, ok. You are my father, and I love you, ok. No matter what. No matter how angry I might get, no matter how many silent treatments I might give you and no matter how many windows I might break. You know that, right?"

Billy nodded. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I know that you don't want to talk about it, and we won't. But please, let me say that I am sorry."

"You can say it, but I have to let you know that I am not ready to forgive just yet," Jacob replied. "But when I am, you will be the first to know."

**_XXXXX_**

Leah paused at the front door, trying to determine whether her mother was in the house. She let out a sigh of relief at the total lack of noise and quickly made her way to her bedroom. Sue had mentioned going over to the Uley's when Leah had asked to borrow her car that morning. She must still be there.

In her room, Leah quickly shoved her shopping into the farthest corner in her wardrobe. She had told her mother that she was going into Port Angeles to buy up on music, which was the truth. She just failed to mention she was loading up for a long plane trip.

But while the music could be explained, the numerous electrical adaptors, travel sized shampoos and conditioners, and Australian dollars could not.

Making her way over to her desk, Leah removed a locked diary from her draw. Opening it, she flipped through to her to-do list and crossed off what she managed to achieve today. Leah had expected it to be difficult to get everything organised, but it had been surprisingly easy. Jacob had been right in his plan- Sue's guilt had allowed Leah to have almost a free reign these past few days. The ironic thing was that now she had the freedom Leah had not seen Jacob since they planned the break up. She did not want to risk this plan falling through, and so even though it killed her, that meant staying away from him.

The silver lining was that she was able to spend time with Sue. Things were still tense between mother and daughter, but Leah needed to do this. She did not want to leave behind any regrets. And even given the decisions Sue had made, hurting her mother would most definitely be regretful.

"_Mum," Leah walked up behind Sue, placing a hand on her shoulder._

_Sue whirled around. "Leah, last night...I am sorry- I want—"_

"_Mum, let me speak," Leah interrupted. "I hate what you have done. I will always hate it. But I don't hate you. You constantly frustrate me, but I love you. Remember that please."_

As that conversation replayed through her mind, Leah flipped to an empty page in the diary. There was no way she could vocalise a farewell to her mother, but she could write one. Tell Sue exactly why she had to leave and to say the goodbye that she desperately needed to say.

_Mum_

The pen hovered over the page as Leah stopped at that one word.

How was she going to say goodbye?

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob flopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote, starting to mindlessly flick through the numerous channels. He had no plans for the evening and was more than happy to settle in front of the television for a veg out session. His mind wandered to the contents of the pantry. Would there be enough to sustain him for the night, or shop he head to the store before getting to comfortable?

He was still pondering this vital question when Billy made his way into the living room. "Jake."

He looked over. "Yeah?"

"I'm heading over to Charlie's for the evening, to watch the game. Did you want to come alone."

"Nah, I'll leave you two olds alone. I've got some plans of my own," he said, patting the couch cushion.

Billy grinned. "Ok then. "He paused at the sound of a car horn outside. "That'll be Charlie. I'm going to crash at his tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

"See you."

When Billy had made his way out the front door, Jacob hoisted himself off the couch, headed towards the kitchen to check the pantry. However, before he had the chance to do so, the phone rang out shrilly, ripping through the quiet of the house.

"Hello?"

"Jacob, it's Edward."

Jacob felt his heart skip a beat. There was only one reason why Edward would be calling him. "Everything is ready?" he asked, knowing what the answer would be.

"Yes. I have all your paperwork, and you have flights out of Sea- Tac tomorrow night, at midnight. You will have a stopover in Los Angeles before flying to Melbourne. Where you go from there is all up to you."

Jacob could not help but let a large grin spread across his face. "Wow...I'll be over to pick them up tomorrow, ok? Does late morning sound good?"

"Yeah, that should..." Edward trailed off, inhaling sharply.

"Edward? You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied. "I am just having a little difficulty keeping Alice out of my head. She is doing all she can to be..._heard_."

Jacob chuckled. "It must be important then."

"Well, she thinks so," Edward sighed. "This vampire coven she keeps seeing- well, she sees them arriving tomorrow evening."

"And she still thinks that something is not right," Jacob put in, remembering the message that Leah had passed on.

"Uh huh. And it is driving her insane. She still sees their complete path to our place, so she has no idea where this unease is coming from. She is thinking about it constantly. Which is unfortunate for me."

"Just think to tomorrow night. You will be able to laugh about it when they arrive with no trouble."

"Here's hoping."

"Well, I'll let you go and deal with Alice," Jacob said. "See you tomorrow."

"See you."

A click on the other end of the line told Jacob that Edward had hung up. He went to do the same, but stopped and simply hit the disconnect button, before dialling another number.

_**XXXXX**_

His bag was packed. Jacob stepped back and looked at the pack sitting on his bed. He was packed. He was ready to go. And he could not wait to go.

Grabbing the pack, he moved and placed it in the back of his wardrobe. As he was closing the door, he heard a thump from the window behind him.

With a smile, he turned. "That was quick."

Leah was grinning at him. "Mum was already half asleep on the couch. I just told her that I was going to Emily's."

"You know," he said, gesturing towards the window. "You have used the front door. I told you that there was nobody else here."

Leah shrugged and stepped towards him. "That window has served us fine in the past. And besides, it would be my luck that somebody would see and go straight to mum."

Jacob stood for a few moments, simply taking in the sight of her. "I missed you," he murmured, opening up his arms. "Come here."

Without hesitation, Leah closed the gap in between them, wrapping her arms around him, and allowing him to do the same to her. She inhaled deeply, before sighing contentedly into his chest. She was home.

After a while, Jacob stepped forward, moving the two of them to the bed. He sat them down on the edge, one of his arms still wrapped around her shoulders. "So, do you want the details for tomorrow?"

Leah let out a little gasp and sat up straighter. "That totally slipped my mind." She let out a small laugh. "How long has it been since your phone call and I have already forgotten."

"Yeah, well," Jacob said, deepening his voice and puffing out his chest. "It's a well known fact that Jacob Black has that effect on women."

Leah slapped him lightly on the chest. "You are so full of shit," she said. "Now, what is happening tomorrow?"

"I'm going to see Edward late morning to pick everything up and then we'll need to leave at around 6.30, 7.00 to ensure that we get to Sea-Tac in time for our flight."

Leah shivered slightly. "This is really happening, isn't it? We are really going to go?"

Jacob nodded. "But now is the time to back out if you want to."

Leah pulled back, so that she could look into his eyes. "Do you want to pull out?"

"No," he replied, taking in the expression on her face. "Why? What are you thinking?"

"I am thinking that this is the craziest thing I have ever done- that I will ever do. And it is all because of you and what you do to me."

Jacob frowned slightly. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"It's a good thing," Leah replied. "I cannot fucking wait to do this with you."

Jacob let out a small laugh. "Are you sure?" he teased. "That coven of vampires are arriving tomorrow. It means that we are going to miss out on all the fun."

"I have had enough 'fun' to last me a life time," she retorted.

"But you are sure," Jacob pressed. "You are totally and completely sure that you want to leave with me tomorrow?"

"Jacob," Leah whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You do not need to ask me that anymore." She pulled him down, pressing her lips into his. He responded eagerly, running his tongue across her bottom lip, before slipping it into her mouth. "Fuck," she breathed against him. "I have missed this."

"Tell me about it," Jacob murmured as he broke his lips from hers, and moved them along her jaw line and down her neck. He could feel her trembling from this slightest touch, and felt her skin break out in goose bumps beneath his tongue. "I have never wanted anything more in my life."

Leah gasped as one his hands moved underneath her t-shirt, and made its way to her breasts. "Then take it," she demanded.

Jacob did not need any more direction. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it off her body, following with his. Leah let out a laugh, reaching for the fly on his shorts, as he reached for hers. There were a few moments of awkward tugging and pulling, before they were both laid out along each other on the bed, completely naked.

Leah placed a hand at the back of Jacob's head and impatiently pulled his lips towards her. The short while they spent undressing had been too long in her opinion, and she was now craving his touch even more. Jacob responded with fervour, his lips hard and passionate against hers. It was as if they would never be able to get enough of one another.

Not breaking their kiss, Jacob adjusted himself slightly so that he was more side on to her body. It freed him to do what he had wanted to do for days. He trailed his fingers down Leah's throat and sternum, before circling a finger around her belly button. Leah's body jerked slightly, and she moaned, her lips still pressed into his. His continued his descent, revelling in the effect he had on her body. He reached her inner thigh, and paused in his ministrations so that he could push her legs apart.

Leah shifted her hips, knowing what he was going to do. "Jacob," she whispered- pleading, begging and asking all in that single word. He complied, moving his fingers so that he could stroke her hot, wet flesh. She moaned, and shifted her hips again, telling him that she wanted more. He pushed a finger into her, while rubbing at her clit with his thumb.

His hissed at the sensation of her heat surrounding his finger. "Fuck, you feel good."

"So...oh," she paused as he pulled out and then pushed two fingers in. "So do you." He started to increase his pace, moving his fingers in and out, curling them slightly to press into the walls that were contracting around him. "Jake...yes," Leah pulled her lips from his, throwing her head back, her eyes closed and mouth opened. She was thrusting her hips, bringing them up to meet each motion of his. She brought one of her hands down, so that one of her fingers could join his thumb, rubbing her. "Yes...more..."

Jacob watched, fascinated by the sight of both their hands working at her, before tearing his eyes away, to look at her face. He wanted to watch as she came apart, to see the expression on her face when he brought her over the edge.

"Is that good?" he whispered, trying to move his fingers as fast and deep as possible.

"Fuck...yes," she moaned loudly, as she began to thrust more frantically. He knew that she was not far off. "Jacob...more....don't stop...oh...oh..."

She cried out, arching her back off the bed. Jacob watched her face, as she rode out her climax. It was an expression of pure joy and ecstasy...and it was because of him.

He kept moving his fingers in her until her body was no longer thrusting. Removing his fingers, he bent down and softly kissed her lips. "I love you, Leah."

She opened her eyes, smiling lazily up at him. "I love you, too," she whispered. She lay there for a few moments, before propping herself up on her elbows. "Turn yourself around," she directed him. "Put your head on the pillows."

Jacob did so, and then watched as she followed him, climbing over him so that she was straddled across his waist. Jacob smiled, moving his hands up the sides of her body. "I could look at this sight all day, every day," he said, "and I would never get sick of it."

"Oh yeah?" Leah asked, running her tongue along her lower lip. "I think you might."

"And why is that?"

"Because this position would stop a whole lot of other stuff from happening," she pointed out, before bending herself so that she could kiss his chest.

Jacob jerked slightly as she started to move down, and he felt her tongue sweep out along his skin. "What...what kind of stuff," he managed to get out before groaning.

"Let me show you," she murmured, her voice vibrating over his skin. She continued her path down, before grasping the base of his cock in her hands. "Something like this," she said, before bringing her mouth down and licking his tip.

"Fuck," he hissed, as she moved down, taking his length into her mouth, her tongue and lips causing a delicious friction. He brought his hands down, burying them in her hair, not forcing her, but wanting to feel her move around him.

She let go of his shaft with her hands, and moved one to his balls, squeezing them as she ran her tongue along the underside of his cock. He could not help but thrust his hips into her. The way she was going, he was not going to last long. She moved her moved back up to his tip, and sucked it slightly, before taking him whole again, as deep as he would go. She sucked and licked, humming slightly, knowing that he would feel even the slightest of vibrations.

Jacob's grip on her hair tightened and he continued to thrust and moan. "Leah, you are fucking amazing," he gasped, feeling himself as he hit the back of her throat. "Fuck, yes..." he broke off, feeling a familiar tightening in his stomach. "Leah, I'm going to cum..." he let out.

She did not stop, continuing to suck as he exploded in her mouth, swallowing every drop. When it was over, she licked up his shaft once more, before sliding herself up his body. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat. She smiled, knowing that hers would have sound the same not all that long ago.

"How did we get so lucky?" Jacob murmured, his fingers playing with her hair.

Leah turned her head, resting her chin on his chest so that she could look at him. "This isn't luck," she said. "This is us. This is our decisions. We made this happen. We wanted this to happen. Luck has fucking nothing to do with this."

Jacob grinned. "Get up here," he said, and then grasped her wrists ad he pulled both of them into a sitting position- he rested up against the bed head, and her across his lap. "You are fucking right. This was us."

Leah leaned forward slightly, resting her forehead against his. "I'm always right, Jacob. You should have realised that by now."

"Well, you were right about that previous position having some slight restrictions." He shifted slightly beneath her and Leah could feel him against her stomach, already hardening. "What about this one? Do we have any restrictions now?"

She rolled her hips. "I don't think so...Jacob?"

"Yeah."

"I need you inside of me- now."

Jacob's hands moved down to her hips, lifting her slightly and allowing him to place himself at her entrance. He waited a moment, looking up at her hooded eyes, before bringing her down over him.

"Oh..." Leah sighed, arching her back and rotating her hips. She would never get sick of this. Never. With Jacob inside of her, she could convince herself that life was perfect and that there was nothing for them to have to worry about.

Jacob thrusted up to meet her movements. "Look at me, Leah," he panted. "Look at me." She looked down at him, seeing complete contentment and love in his eyes. She brought her hands to his, grasping them so that their fingers were intertwined. She wanted them to be connected in every way possible.

"I love you," she said, keeping her eyes on his as they moved together. "I love you."

He moved his head forward, pressing his lips into hers briefly, before connecting their gazes once more. "I love you," he replied, before moaning as she increased her movements, bringing her body down harder, causing him to press more deeply into her. "Ugh...don't stop."

She shook her head slightly, and Jacob could see a sheen of sweat building up on her skin. "Never...I'll never stop...never...always," she muttered.

"Always," Jacob echoed.

"Jake...Jake..." her movements were starting to grow more frantic. "You feel so good." She moved their hands back, so that they were pressed against the bed head, allowing her more force as she moved up and down.

"Fuck...yes..." Jacob groaned at this slight change of position. "Leah...I'm..."

"Me too," she panted, as she continued to move, letting out a moan each time she met one of his thrusts. "Harder," she whispered. "I need more of you..." He complied and could feel her tightening around him as he did so. "Jake...ugh...oh!" She let out a guttural moan and she brought herself down. "Fuck yes," she cried, feeling herself let go.

Jacob watched her come apart, her expression and clenching muscles bringing on his own climax. He pulled his hands from her grasp, wrapping them around her body, pulling them close as they rode out their waves together.

When their bodies has stilled, Leah made no move. She lay, slackened against his body, completely content. The idea of them separating seemed almost too much.

Jacob knew exactly how she was feeling. Gently, he lifted her off him, and then pulled their bodies down, so that she was lying in his arms. Pulling the covers over them, he turned and pressed his lips onto her forehead.

"I love you," he murmured.

He barely heard her whispered reply as they drifted off to sleep together.


	21. Finalisation

**A/N: **Ok, so I have been a naughty fan fic writer once again and kept you waiting much too long. The end of the school year is coming along much too quickly and the list of things that I need achieve by that time is only getting longer. I suck, I know.

So thank you to those wonderful readers who continue to stick by me, even though I am sure that I am frustrating you at times. And of course the extra special, with a cherry on top, thank you to those freaking unbelievable people who take the time to review this story. It brings a real positive start to the work day when I open my email and get to read your wonderful and supportive works. I actually broke 300 reveiws last chapter. For some, that is nothing. For me, that was huge. Thank you to all who played a part in that number.

Several of you have been putting forward some theories on how this story would play out. I would love to comment, but I do not want to risk giving anything away. That being said, I am actually a bit scared of posting this chapters. There are events that will really shape the way this story will play out. I feel like I need to say once again that I have known how this story would end before I even started writing it...

Enough from me. Please enjoy this chapter and I would love to hear what you think about it.

**Music: **_Breathing You In_- The Whitlams, _Landslide_- Lior, _River of Dreams_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _Don't Fight It_- The Panics

* * *

Jacob blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the bright sunshine that was filtering through his curtains. Of course Forks would put on the beautiful weather on the day that they were leaving, like it were giving one last ditch attempt to convince them to stay. He smiled to himself. One rare sunny day was nothing compared to his expectations of what was to come.

He glanced down at Leah, who was still fast asleep with her cheek resting on his chest. In twenty four hours time they would be well and truly gone. His stomach turned with a mixture of fear, anticipation and excitement. They were really going to do- and he could not wait.

He was not deluded; he knew that it was going to be damn hard. The two of them only had a small amount of money between them, which meant that work was going to be a priority. It was not going to be a romantic and relaxing holiday for the two of them.

But, it would be the two of them making their own decisions. It would be the two of them starting a life together and getting to control what happened. And that was going to be far more rewarding than a romantic getaway.

Glancing at the time, Jacob groaned slightly. They were going to have to get up and going. Billy would be getting home soon, and there were still things that needed to be finalised- like him meeting Edward.

"Leah," he said quietly, rubbing her ear lobe between his thumb and forefinger. She stirred, letting out a protesting moan before opening her eyes.

"What did you do that for?" she grumbled, rolling over onto her back and stretching out.

"Because, if we want to be getting on that plane tonight, we had better get going. I have to see Edward, and I think that Billy catching us will make sneaking out tonight a hell of a lot more difficult."

Leah propped herself up on her elbows, a large smile breaking out on her face. "We're getting on a plane tonight, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are," he replied. "Well, we will be if we actually get ourselves organised."

"Well then," Leah said, sitting up straighter. "I guess I should be going. But, before I go..." She leaned over, pressing her lips into Jacob's. "I love you," she murmured against his skin.

"I love you, too," Jacob replied, kissing her once again. He watched as she climbed out of the bed and grabbed her clothes from the previous evening. They would soon be doing this everyday- waking up together.

"So," Leah turned to him once she was fully dressed. "Where are we going to meet tonight?"

"Meet me at the clearing- will you be ok with riding the bikes?"

Leah nodded. "I will be fine." She paused, reaching into the back pocket of her jeans. "Could you do me a favour?" she asked, pulling out a white envelope.

Jacob sat up. "Anything."

Leah handed the envelope to him. "Could you please give this to Edward?" Jacob glanced down at the name- _Mum_- and looked back at Leah quizzically. "Could you ask him to give it to mum once we are well gone? I don't want to leave her no answers. I've explained everything in there. I just don't want her to think that I have gone out of my way to hurt her."

"Hey," Jacob reached out and clasped one of her hands. "This is not going to be forever. As soon as they accept us, and when we have had enough of the travelling, then we will be back. They are our family. Sure, they are going to be pissed but they are going to understand the choice we have made."

"I hope so," Leah said, smiling down at him. She leant down, kissing him once more, before making her way to the window. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah," Jacob grinned. "I'll see you tonight."

**_XXXXX_**

Thankfully, Sue hadn't noticed her daughter's disappearing act the night before and so Leah simply climbed back through her bedroom window. She still needed to finalise her packing, but she wanted to gauge Sue's activities for the day before pulling everything out.

Leah paused in front of her dressing table, to run a brush through her hair. As she did, her thoughts wandered to what it would actually feel like when she and Jacob walked onto the plane that night- together. She glanced up at the mirror and realised that she was smiling- no grinning. She was by herself, in her bedroom, grinning like a crazed loon. And with that thought, she let out a loud giggle.

Leah dropped her hairbrush and clapped a hand over her mouth. She stared at herself in the mirror through large eyes. Since when did she giggle like a hyped up pre-teen girl? She didn't do that sort of stuff; she had never done that sort of stuff. The sweet smiling and giggling irritated her to the bone, so why was she...

Her hand dropped and the smile returned to her face. She was happy. She was completely and utterly happy, for quite possibly the first time in her life. And she was going to ensure that she stayed happy. She was going to stay with the person that she loved, and in doing that she was going to make something of her life. She and Jacob were going to do what _they _wanted to do.

She smiled at her reflection once more. She could get used to feeling this way.

But then, the gears in her mind kicked into her gear. There was too much to do today and there was no time to waste. She needed to shower, get details on Sue's movements for the day and she needed to pack. She moved towards her desk, to get out her diary and check her packing list, but stopped when she heard footsteps travelling up the hallway.

Moments later Sue appeared in the doorway. "Oh good, you're awake. I need a favour."

"What favour?" Leah asked warily. The last thing she needed was to be running around after Sue today.

"Oh, it's nothing big. It's just that I had organised for a plumber to come in today and look at the sink in the kitchen. But Angelica just called. She's broken her ankle and I offered to go over and help her out today. Would you be able to hang around here and let the plumber in?"

"What time is he coming?"

"He said late morning," Sue replied. "Don't worry about payment- I've already spoken to him and he said that I can fix him up later."

Leah nodded. "I can do that."

"Oh thank you," Sue said. "I'm heading off now- I'll see you later tonight, ok?"

"Yeah, see you..." Leah trailed off as Sue made to leave. Sue would be gone for the day. This would be the last time she would see her mother in who knows how long. She couldn't leave it like this, could she?

"Mum!" Leah called out. She stepped forward and threw her arms around her mother, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oomph!" Sue stumbled slightly, not expecting the onslaught from her daughter. "Honey, are you ok?"

"Yup," Leah said, stepping back from the embrace. "I just love you."

Sue brow furrowed slightly and it was obvious that her mum radar was running over time. "Leah, I know things have been difficult between us lately, but you would tell me if anything serious was going on wouldn't you?"

Leah nodded. "Yes," she answered truthfully. '_I just may not tell you before they happen_.'

"Right..." Sue trailed off. "Well, why do you say to a girls night in tonight? Us, some trashy films and even trashier foods?"

"That sounds great, mum," Leah managed to get out. "You go look after Angelica, and I'll get everything ready for when you get home, ok?"

Sue hesitated for a moment, but then reached out to run a hand over Leah's hair before walking away.

**_XXXXX_**

Jacob approached the large, white house, his mind signalling Edward to his appearance. He did not feel like knocking on the door and chancing facing anybody else. He wanted to get the paperwork and get home.

Thankfully, Edward walked out the front door moments later, with a plastic envelope in his hands. "Hey," he said, stopping in front of Jacob. "So, no backing out?"

Jacob shook his head. "Not a chance."

Edward smiled, handing the envelope over. "Four passports, four birth certificates, four drivers licenses and plane tickets. It is all in there. Take a look at your new names, tell me what you think."

Jacob's brow furrowed slightly and he ripped the Velcro fastener open and pulled out the passports, flipping through them. "Jacob Lehane and Leah Summers," he murmured and then glanced up at the grinning Jacob. "I don't get it."

"Really?" Edward's expression fell. "Damn...well, let me know when you do figure it out, ok?"

Jacob chuckled softly and shook his head. "So, how much do I owe you for this?" he asked, placing the passports back in the envelope.

"Nothing," Edward replied.

Jacob's head whipped up. "What?"

"You do not owe me anything."

"Actually, I think that I do. I can't let you pay for this, Edward. This is something that I am doing and I cannot rely on you."

"Jacob, you are not relying on me. Plus, I owe you."

"Oh, really?" Jacob replied, arching an eyebrow. "And just what exactly do you owe me?"

"You were there to help Bella when I wasn't, when I was the one causing her pain. You kept her from hurting herself, or even worse," Edward said, his voice low. "And then you saved her life for a second time. And, at the same time you saved my daughter's life when the rest of the pack wanted her dead. You didn't have to, but you did. It is because of you that I have my family with me today. Covering the cost of this paperwork is my incredibly paltry way of showing you how incredibly grateful I am for you. If I can help you achieve the same happiness that I have with my family, then I can maybe start to think that we are well and truly even."

Jacob stared at Edward's admissions, unsure of how respond. "Um...well..." he cleared his throat. "Ok then...thanks."

Edward nodded shortly. "There's also something extra in there," he pointed at the envelope. "There is a credit card for both of you, linked to one of the Cullen bank accounts. It is offshore- there is no way that it can be traced back to you. You are welcome to use it anytime you wish."

"Whoa," Jacob said, holding up his hand. "Now, that is too much. This entire trip is not going to be bankrolled by your family." He went to open the envelope, wanting to hand the card straight back.

"Wait," Edward said. "Just keep it with you to help you get started- you don't know how long it will be until you can find work. And then, what if something goes wrong? Have it with you in case of an emergency."

"Edward, I can't," Jacob protested.

Edward shrugged. "I figured," he replied. "So, I put the number of the account in there. If you happen to need to use it at any time, you can repay whatever you use when you are financially able to do so."

Jacob paused, considering the offer before nodding. "Ok then. I'll keep it- but I won't use it."

A large grin broke out on Edward's face. "Why does that not surprise me?"

Jacob sighed. "Look, I know that you see this how thing as you paying me back, but I need to say thank you. Without you, Leah and I would have never been able to do this."

"It was my pleasure," Edward replied and then cleared his throat. "Now, this is getting just a little too much like an Oprah episode for my liking."

Jacob laughed. "Good to know that you are feeling as uncomfortable as me with all the bonding," he gestured behind him. "I should probably go. Things to finalise."

"Take it easy," Edward said. "You have a huge couple of days in front of you."

"Ok...oh," Jacob suddenly remembered and pulled Leah's letter from his back pocket. "Could you please give this to Sue in a few days time? Leah wants us to be well on our way before she gets it."

Edward nodded, taking the letter. "Make sure that the two of you enjoy yourselves, Jake. It will be an experience you will never forget."

Jacob smiled as he turned and walked away. He was certainly hoping it would be.

**_XXXXX_**

Leah zipped her bag shut and then placed it back in her wardrobe. The last thing she wanted was for Sue to come home early and see the luggage sitting on her bed. That would raise some questions Leah did not want to be answering.

Unsure of what to do with herself, Leah wandered out of her bedroom. She was completely organised, ready to go, but there was still hours until she and Jacob would be leaving. She knew all too well that those hours would be longest of her life and desperately needed a distraction. Unfortunately her stomach was a bundle of nerves which cancelled out eating something. She didn't think that she could be able to concentrate on a book. There was no way that she could sit through a movie. Housework, maybe? She could help her mother out before she left. She was sure that she had seen a pile of washing ready to be hung out on the washing line. Yup, she would do that and...

Leah's thoughts trailed off as she heard a knock on the front door. Glancing at her watch, she deduced that it was probably the plumber. She smiled, figuring that he would be as good a distraction as any, and made her way to the door.

"Hi," she said as she flung the door open. "Come in..."

The man standing on the other side of the door had been glancing down at the mobile in his hand. As Leah spoke, he looked up and met her eyes. Leah's stomach clenched as she felt a glowing heat spread slowly through her limbs. For a moment she felt as if her whole being had come apart, broken in a tiny million pieces. Everything that made her up as a person was disappearing. But then the world started to right itself. She felt herself connecting again, but differently. She was being put back together, but there was something extra. A link, a need, a want...and it drew her straight to the man standing in front of her.

The man who was not Jacob.

* * *

And once again, m47e47l ducks and runs for cover.

Evil, evil cliffie, I know and I am totally prepared for you hating on me right now...please don't hate on me :) But for your sake there is still quite a bit of story for to tell. Chapter numbers are now standing at 32 plus epilogue. Stick with me, things may pan out differently to how you expect :)


	22. Fight

**A/N: **Ok, yes I am alive, and yes, I am feeling incredibly guilty about how long I have been AWOL for (espeically given the way that I ended the last chapter). Things were crazy at the end of the school year- even more so than normal. Which meant that I had to wait until after school finished to get organised for Christmas and then after Christmas I went away. When I got back I really struggled to get writing, having been away from the story for some time. I didn't want to just churn out some crap (well, something crappier than my normal writing) for the sake of updating, so I had to wait until some inspiration hit. I know that this does not excuse the absence, and I am truly, truly sorry for keeping you waiting.

On the note of the last chapter, I want to thank everybody for their support. I was so nervous posting, given the direction I had decided to take the story in, knowing that you would not be impressed, but your reviews, as usual, gave me the warm and fuzzies. Thank you- I do not deserve you and I certainly hope that I have not lost you after this long delay. On the note of the direction of the story, I will state again that there is still a lot of story to tell, so don't abandon us just yet.

In respsone to some of the reviews- no, I do not hate Jacob. Orignally when this story was just a little thought bubble in my head, I had planned on Jake imprinting, but then I really liked the idea of the Leah twist. But, I will say again- whole lotta story to tell :)

**ItsCuzOfTheFame: **I do like your theory about the surnames that Edward chose for Jake and Leah, but they actually came from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. They are Buffy and Faith's surnames, and it was Edward's little in joke about slayer's and werewolves killing vampires etc. My little Joss Whedon nerd brain thought it funny.

Ok, enough from me. Onto _Masking the Void..._

**Music: **_River- _Kate Miller- Heidke, _Creep_- Radiohead, _Hyperballad_- Whitley, _Breathe Me_- Sia

* * *

_Leah zipped her bag shut and then placed it back in her wardrobe. The last thing she wanted was for Sue to come home early and see the luggage sitting on her bed. That would raise some questions Leah did not want to be answering._

_Unsure of what to do with herself, Leah wandered out of her bedroom. She was completely organised, ready to go, but there was still hours until she and Jacob would be leaving. She knew all too well that those hours would be longest of her life and desperately needed a distraction. Unfortunately her stomach was a bundle of nerves which cancelled out eating something. She didn't think that she could be able to concentrate on a book. There was no way that she could sit through a movie. Housework, maybe? She could help her mother out before she left. She was sure that she had seen a pile of washing ready to be hung out on the washing line. Yup, she would do that and..._

_Leah's thoughts trailed off as she heard a knock on the front door. Glancing at her watch, she deduced that it was probably the plumber. She smiled, figuring that he would be as good a distraction as any, and made her way to the door._

"_Hi," she said as she flung the door open. "Come in..."_

_The man standing on the other side of the door had been glancing down at the mobile in his hand. As Leah spoke, he looked up and met her eyes. Leah's stomach clenched as she felt a glowing heat spread slowly through her limbs. For a moment she felt as if her whole being had come apart, broken in a tiny million pieces. Everything that made her up as a person was disappearing. But then the world started to right itself. She felt herself connecting again, but differently. She was being put back together, but there was something extra. A link, a need, a want...and it drew her straight to the man standing in front of her._

_The man who was not Jacob._

"Uh...ahem..." he cleared his throat, holding out a hand towards Leah. "I'm Doyle." He trailed off as the expression on his face transformed in a matter of seconds. No longer was he wearing the welcoming smile of a tradesperson, he was staring at Leah as if she were all his Christmases come at once.

Leah took a step back, one of her hands shaking at her chest as she fought the urge to grasp his hand. She couldn't, even though she wanted to feel his skin on hers desperately. But, somehow, she knew that the moment she touched him, there would be no turning back. She would have no choices.

'_You are thinking as if you might actually have a choice_...' she told herself. '_And you don't. It's done. You are over.'_

Leah squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her chest constrict. Her body wanted so much for her to touch him. But she couldn't. She did not want to give in so easily. Her stomach was churning with the knowledge of what had just happened. To her, of all people.

"Uh..." Doyle cleared his throat. "Is everything ok? Have I got the right house?"

Leah gave a short nod. "This is the right place."

"Well..." he made to move forward and she automatically took a step back. "Could I come in then? You know, to fix the problem?"

"The kitchen is this way," Leah replied shortly. She didn't want to get into any sort of conversation with this man. In any way that she could fight this, she would. She glanced back briefly as she led him down the hallway and regretted it instantly. The second her eyes fell on him she felt an urgent pull from deep within.

'_Just fall,_' it told her. _'Just give in and let it happen. You will be happy. Your life will be content. Your worries will be minimal. He will spend the rest of his days making you feel complete. Just let yourself fall.'_

But at what cost? Her trusty voice of reason was still able to break through. Was still able to make itself heard, loud and clear.

Leah stopped in the kitchen. "Here," she said. "Did mum tell you what the problem was?"

Doyle nodded, his gaze never breaking from hers. Leah recognised the look and swallowed hard. She had seen it several times before. In Quil's eyes, in Embry's, Seth's and Sam's. In Clare's, Kim's and Emily's. At one point all she had wanted was to have somebody who looked at her that way. But now that it was happening, she could not stand it.

'_Because he has no control over what is happening...and you already found someone who made the decision to look at you that way...'_

Leah felt the ground shift underneath her. Oh god. Jacob. She glanced up. Doyle's eyes were boring into hers and she knew that she had to get out of there.

"Um, well, I just remembered that I had something really important to do," Leah stammered, stepping towards the back door. "You should be fine- my mum won't be long. If there are any major concerns, the next door neighbour will be able to help." She gripped the door handle and swung it open.

"Wait," Doyle stepped forward. "I didn't catch your name."

Leah looked at him for a few moments, before turning and sprinting out the door.

_**XXXXX**_

Leah ran, as fast as she could in human form, hoping that she could out sprint everything. Hoping that when she finally stopped everything would be as it had been that morning. Hoping that Doyle would be nothing more than a distant memory and she could start her new life with Jacob.

But when she slowed down at the edge of the water at La Push, it was all still there. The urge to turn around and run right back to the stranger in her house. Deep down she knew that he would make her happy, that she would be loved for the rest of her life.

"No!" she yelled out at the waves, shaking her head violently. She did not need to be thinking about that. She had Jacob. He was all she needed. He made her happy. He made her feel complete. He loved her and that was all that mattered, right?

"_I fought it, you know. For several weeks."_

Sam's deep voice seeped through her memories and she blanched, remembering everything about that conversation.

"_I had loved you and in some way I still did...like a sister, almost. I knew that it would hurt you and so I tried to ignore it. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hurt you...I didn't want to be that person.__"_

No. That may have been the case for him, but it wasn't going to be like that for her. She was supposed to be different, being the fucking female wolf and all. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. Hell, she didn't even want it happening to her, unlike most of the pack.

She had been fighting everything and everyone for so long now. Surely she could fight this as well. She had to be able to, right? The thought of living without Jacob made her feel sick. All the plans that they had made, the lives that they wanted to live- she could not just give up on those, could she?

She had to fight. And she would beat it. Because if she didn't...

She would do to Jacob what Sam had done to her. There was no way she could lead a happy and complete life if she had to witness the results of her selfishness. This whole situation was not just about her- he was a part of her now and she would make damn sure that it would stay that way.

Whirling around, Leah ran. Not in the direction of Doyle, but in the direction of Jacob's house. She would see him and love him and prove to herself once and for all that this imprinting had not really happened. She would fight it until she won.

She picked up the speed, ignoring the lingering voices in her head.

"_But in the end you couldn't fight anymore," Leah said._

_Sam nodded slowly. "I was lying to you and I was lying to myself. It wasn't right."_

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob closed the zip on his bag, unable to keep the smile off his face. Everything was packed up and ready to go. In a few short hours he and Leah would be on their way to the airport, leaving all the shit on the reservation behind.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, glancing around the room. It would be strange to leave everything behind, but it was right. Even given the speed with which he and Leah's decision to leave had been made, he knew that it would be the most important decision if his life. They would be awesome together and he could not wait to see what paths were laid out in front of them.

The shrill ring of the telephone broke into his thoughts, forcing him up and out of his bedroom.

"Hello," he said brusquely, hoping that whoever it was was not in the mood for a long conversation.

"Jake?" Billy's voice sounded tinny through the line.

"Hey dad."

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm staying at Charlie's for dinner tonight again. Probably won't be back until late."

"Ok. See you then..." Jacob trailed off, as he realised that he would not be seeing father then- he would be long gone at that time. In fact, this would probably be the last time he would speak to his father in a long time.

"You ok, Jake?" Billy asked.

"Um, yeah. I'm fine," he replied. "Just zoned out for a moment."

"Right," Billy chuckled. "Well, it's good to know that I can keep you focused for at least a minute. Now, I'll see you later tonight, ok?"

"Yeah," Jacob murmured. "Goodbye dad."

There was a pause on Billy's end before he replied. "See ya, Jake."

Jacob heard the click indicating that his father had hung up. He went to do the same thing when he heard a loud thud coming from his bedroom. He turned and ran in that direction, leaving the phone hanging by its own cord.

_**XXXXX**_

As Leah hoisted herself through Jacob's window, her foot caught on the sill and she fell straight to the floor with a loud thud. With a groan she pulled herself up into a sitting position just as Jacob appeared in his doorway.

He stopped short. "Leah?"

She stood up. "Yup. Were you expecting anyone else?"

He shook his head slowly. "What are you doing here? Is there something wrong?"

Leah hesitated before answering. If he only knew. But instead, she gave him the answer that he wanted to hear. "No," she said quietly, taking a step towards him. "I just wanted to see you."

Jacob's eyebrows rose slightly. "Well, I hate to break it to you, Leah, but you are going to be seeing me a hell of lot in a few short hours," he replied with a grin.

His joyous expression almost broke Leah. And that was why she was going to fight this and win. Because there was no way in hell that she would be the reason behind that look being ripped from his face.

"I know," she murmured, standing so that their bodies were flush. "But I just needed you..." she leaned up and pressed her lips into his. "Things will be crazy for a while and I just wanted you- here," she gestured around the room. "Who knows when we will be able to come back? I just want to make one more memory before we go."

With that, Leah threw her arms around Jacob's neck and kissed him with all that she had. She could do this; prove that she could still feel the same way about him. She knew that when she was surrounded by him, nothing else would matter. All that she would need to focus on would be the two of them and what they felt for one another.

Jacob responded eagerly, kissing her back with just as much fervour. "I think that is a fucking great idea," he murmured against her lips.

The back of Leah's mind was telling her that this was not working. That Jacob's lips did not have the same effect on her anymore. She pushed them aside, instead telling herself that she just needed more. She needed it all and then she would forget. "Well then," she replied, reaching for the fly of Jacob's shorts, "we had better not waste any fucking time."

Jacob grinned. So Leah was in _that _type of mood. For a moment he released her lips, allowing her to undo and pull down his shorts and underwear at the same time. He stepped out of them, pulling his t-shirt off at the same time, before picking her up and throwing her down on the bed.

Leah watched as he crawled over her, undoing her pants, and waited. She waited for that delicious anticipation, for the electric sparks that would normally be igniting her skin. But as Jacob moved up her body, removing her shirt as he did, she realised that it didn't feel right. Oh, he was having an effect all right. Any hot blooded woman would respond in that way. But it was different. The intensity was gone, as was the desperation. As she felt Jacob's tongue descend upon her nipples she knew, without a doubt, that if he were to get up and leave at that point, she would not get upset.

Leah let out a cry, wanting to drown the sound of those thoughts. '_Ignore them, ignore them, ignore them...' _Jacob, taking that her outburst was for a completely different reason, moved up her body so that he could press his lips into hers.

"Leah," he groaned, as he settled in between her legs. She spread wider as he started to grind himself into her. It felt good and her body responded, but not her mind.

"Jacob," she whimpered, lifting her hips up to meet his. "I need you." And she did, desperately. She needed him. She needed for her to want him. "Please, don't make me wait."

With that, he pushed himself into her, letting out a guttural moan. "You feel so fucking good," he said, trailing his lips down to her neck, as he thrusted into her.

Leah desperately bought her hips up to meet each of his thrusts. "More," she begged, moving her hands down his back and grasping his arse. She spread her legs even wider, wanting him even deeper. Wanting to feel more. She guided his movements with her hands. "Harder," she gasped. "More...harder."

Jacob complied, increasing the rhythm and intensity of his movement. "Fuck," he groaned. Leah could see a light sheen of sweat forming on his skin and knew that he was totally worked up. Feeling exactly how she wanted to be feeling right now.

Moving her hands up, she gripped around his shoulders, before wrapping her legs around him. She dug her feet into him, trying desperately to drive him in further; hoping that is would make her feel more. "Jacob," she said, closing her eyes, unable to look at him. "Jake...more...please..."

His head bowed down so that his lips were pressed against her ear. "I love you," he whispered breathlessly. "I'm so close...so close...are you?"

Leah did not respond verbally, instead squeezed her legs tighter and arching her hips up even more. She could not deny that he felt good, but it was as if he could have been anybody, not the person she had been planning to live her life with. Not the person she was more than willing to leave everything behind for. Not the person she had truly loved.

She felt Jacob's muscles tense even more under hands and at that moment, he threw his head back as he released inside her. "Oh...fuck!" he let out, collapsing on top of her.

Leah had always loved the sensation of his body on hers. It had made her feel safe and content. But now it was only claustrophobic.

As if he could read her mind, Jacob rolled off her, lying on his side beside her. Propping his head up with one hand, he let the other trail down her body and in between her thighs. "Better make sure that your last memory was as good as mine," he said, as his finger started to circle her clit.

Leah forced a smile on her face and looked into his eyes. "I don't need that," she said, pushing his hand away and kissing him softly on his mouth. "All I want is you."

And that was the truth. She wanted to want him so much. She had come here, determined to prove something. Determined to prove that she was stronger, that her fate was in her own hands. But instead, it was Sam's words that had been proven true. Everything was different. She loved Jacob, she did not doubt that, but it was different. It wasn't a love that could keep them strong and together, forever. It was a kind of love that had the ability to break a person's heart.

Just as hers had been broken.

Leah squeezed her eyes shut. She was such an epic screw-up. It had to be her that went and fucking ruined everything, didn't it? It was she who had changed, not Jacob. It was she who had imprinted, not Jacob. And it was her feelings that would not be enough to keep them happy.

She considered her options. She could leave with him, as they had planned. Surely she could pretend that nothing had happened. She could so do that, she could make Jacob happy. She didn't matter. This was her monumental fuck-up, she would just have to live with the consequences.

"_I knew that it would hurt you and so I tried to ignore it. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hurt you...I didn't want to be that person...I was lying to you and I was lying to myself. It wasn't right."_

Whatever she and Jacob had, it was now gone. The only question was, what was she going to do about it?


	23. Choice

**A/N: **So, once again, here I am offering a completely inadequate thanks to all my fantastic readers. I am so grateful that you are sticking with me through the recent events of this story. To those who have taken the time to review, you rock my world. It is as simple as that. You make the dark days bright and make me want to write, write and write some more.

I really struggled emotionally when writing this chapter. Again, the events that occur have been planned since before I started writing this story. That being said, I have been going back and forth over these ideas, wondering if I should continued with the plot lines. In the end, I decided to stick with my instincts, with my original plan. I did not want to shy away from something because I was too 'chicken' to write. That being said, it was difficult to write Leah's point of view. I guess that you will see why. All I can say is, please don't abandon this story. I do have more planned.

**Warning: **Sensitive content included in this chapter.

**Music: **_Wake Up_- Arcade Fire, _Wolf Life Me_- TV On the Radio, _These Days_- Powderfinger, _Carbon Monoxide_- Regina Spektor

* * *

_Leah forced a smile on her face and looked into his eyes. "I don't need that," she said, pushing his hand away. "All I want is you."_

_And that was the truth. She wanted to want him so much. She had come here, determined to prove something. Determined to prove that she was stronger, that her fate was in her own hands. But instead, it was Sam's words that had been proven true. Everything was different. She loved Jacob, she did not doubt that, but it was different. It wasn't a love that could keep them strong and together, forever. It was a kind of love that had the ability to break a person's heart._

_Just as hers had been broken._

_Leah squeezed her eyes shut. She was such an epic screw-up. It had to be her that went and fucking ruined everything, didn't it. It was she who had changed, not Jacob. It was she who had imprinted, not Jacob. And it was her feelings that would not be enough to keep them happy._

_She considered her options. She could leave with him, anyone. Surely she could pretend that nothing had happened. She could so that, she could make Jacob happy. She didn't matter. This was her monumental fuck-up, she would just have to live with the consequences._

"I knew that it would hurt you and so I tried to ignore it. I couldn't bear the thought that I would hurt you...I didn't want to be that person...I was lying to you and I was lying to myself. It wasn't right."

_Whatever she and Jacob had, it was now gone. The only question was, what was she going to do about it?_

"Hey Leah." She felt Jacob's hand brush along the side of her face and she opened her eyes. He was gazing down at her, his expression concerned. "Is everything ok?" His thumb swiped at her cheek, and she felt that it was wet. She had started crying without even realising it. "Tell me, what's going on?"

Leah turned her head away from him slightly, as she brought her hands up to furiously brush away at the tears. She owed it to him to tell him the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She could not inflict the same pain she had suffered onto someone else. What would that make her?

Forcing a smile on her face, she looked up at Jacob. "It has really just occurred to me that this time tomorrow it will be just you and me. As much as she has infuriated me lately, I am not going to see mum for a long time. And...I am really going to miss her."

Jacob's brow furrowed as he took in Leah's words. He knew that there was something she was holding back and it worried him immensely. "Leah, if you don't want to go, you can tell me. We won't go. We can stay and figure something out here. I am not going to cart you away if it is against your wishes."

"No," Leah shook her head. "It is not that," she responded, looking him directly in the eyes. "I want nothing more than to leave with you. I am just facing facts here- it is not going to be easy. But that does not mean that I want it any less." There was an air of truth to what she was saying. Leah wanted nothing more than to be able to spend her life with Jacob. It was just now...she couldn't.

However, Jacob picked up on the underlying sincerity to what she was saying and his expression softened. "I know what you're saying," he said, pressing a soft kiss onto her forehead. "But we will be together. We can work through it together. We are not going to be left alone, are we?"

Leah swallowed hard, and then shook her head. "No," she whispered. She pushed herself up into a sitting position. "I'm going to go for a run...last round of the forest before we go," she said with a small smile. "And, it's probably best I get a phase out of my system before we board a plane. Who knows what sort of jackass we might come across in that enclosed space?"

Jacob laughed, and leaned forward so that he could press his lips onto hers. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Leah's voice was barely a breath. "I'll see you later."

_**XXXXX**_

Bella watched as Edward glanced at the clock on the wall again. He thought that he was being covert, but to her it was completely obvious that he was waiting for something. Quietly, she closed the book she had been reading and placed it on the small table beside the couch.

"Edward," she said quietly, keeping an ear out for their daughter who was sleeping in her room not far away. "You are not as sly as you think you are."

Edward whirled around to face her. "What are you talking about?"

"You have been watching the clock all afternoon. Who or what are you expecting? Has Alice's worrying finally influenced you?"

Edward shook his head. "No, this isn't anything to do with the coven's arrival. I am just waiting...for something."

He fell silent and Bella looked at him expectantly. "What sort of a something?"

Edward let out a loud sigh, running a hand through his already unruly hair. "This stays between you and me, ok? You cannot breathe a word about this to anybody."

Bella's brow furrowed with concern. "Do I need to be worried?"

"Not in the slightest," Edward replied. "You know how Jacob and Leah broke up?" Bella nodded. "Well, that's not actually what happened. That is just what they wanted everyone to believe."

Bella's expression turned to confusion. "I don't understand..."

"They're leaving the country tonight. They were never going to be accepted on the reservation and so they made the decision to leave. They both had wanted to travel at some point, and it seemed like their only way out. It is getting close to the time that they're leaving. I am just hoping that they get out without any problems."

Bella was silent as she took in what Edward was telling her...and there was one thing truly bothering her. "How do you know all this Edward?" she asked, working hard to keep her tone level.

He paused before answering. "Because Jacob came to me for help. They needed passports, ID...he knew that I would have connections of some sort. I agreed and organised it all for them."

Bella stood up abruptly. "And what? Are we keeping secrets from one another now?" she demanded.

"Hey," Edward held up his hand. "It was not my secret to share. Jacob confided in me...right now I am breaking his trust and I shouldn't be."

"Well, if you can trust me now, why couldn't you trust me all along, Edward? If this had been me and Jacob keeping things from you, Edward, you would have—"

"Completely understood, given the situation," Edward cut in. "Now, I know what has really got you upset. Do not take it out on me."

Bella exhaled loudly. "I have no idea what you are talking about," she replied, her voice faltering slightly.

"Yes, you do," Edward said, taking a step towards her. "You are hurting that Jacob came to me, because Jacob confided in me. Because he still hasn't spoken to you."

"I...I am...that is..." Bella trailed off. "I'm a selfish bitch, aren't I? Jacob and Leah feel compelled to run away and I automatically go to 'Why didn't he tell me?' And then I try and pick a fight with you to boot." She noticeable slumped and Edward was beside her in less than a second.

"You're still adjusting to him not being around. It's ok."

"No, it's not," Bella replied. "It's just...it's just, he is going to leave tonight without saying goodbye. We were best friends. I guess I just thought..."

"You are best friends, Bella. Think about this from his perspective. It is going to be hard for them to leave everybody they care about behind. At the moment they are furious at their families, which may be easing the pain somewhat. But you? You and Jacob will always love one another. If he were to face you, to say goodbye, he would be facing all the things he would leaving behind. He is not saying goodbye because he doesn't want to, I think that it is because he can't. Think about what is at stake for him and Leah."

Bella was silent for several moments, before a small smile broke out on her face. "Jake's gonna get his own happily ever after, isn't he? Well, some form of it anyway."

Edward nodded. "Yes...and it won't be forever. They will be back here one day. Don't forget- you've got eternity to wait for him to be..." he trailed off, groaning. Bella raised her eyebrows and he nodded towards the door. "Alice is on her way."

Moment later Alice burst through the front door of the cottage, her usually chipper demeanour a lot more darker. "Oh, good. You're here," she sighed, flopping down on the couch.

"To what do we owe this pleasure..." Edward stopped, cocking his head slightly. "Oh..."

"Yup," she said. "They were sick of my fretting and told me that I needed some air." She looked at Edward, her expression pleading. "You believe me, don't you? You don't think that I am turning into some crazy freak?"

Edward sat down next to her. "Look, I don't see anything in your thoughts that makes me worry. The coven's arrival appears to bring no ill-will. But, you are worried. And you are usually right. So, until they leave, we keep on our toes, ok?"

Alice nodded fervently, obviously placated. "Good, so I am not crazy."

"Well, now I didn't say that, did I?" Edward pointed out, a mischievous grin on his face.

_**XXXXX**_

Billy was quiet, his conversation with Jacob playing through his mind. Something was not right, something was off in the tone of his son's voice.

He turned to his good friend. "Charlie. I'm sorry to do this, but do you think you could take me back to La Push now?"

Charlie nodded. "No problem. Is something wrong?"

Billy shrugged. "I'm not sure. But I just get the feeling that I need to see Jacob, as soon as possible."

_**XXXXX**_

Almost subconsciously Leah had found her way to her and Jacob's clearing. The desperation she has been feeling while with Jacob was gradually being joined by an intense anger. She was furious- at herself, at the plumber named Doyle and at the world. She _wanted _to love Jacob. She _wanted _to be with Jacob. She _wanted_ her and Jacob to be happy together. And all of that had been taken away from, without any fucking consultation from her.

"_The whole thing is just wrong. That one of the biggest decisions you will ever make- who you are going to spend the rest of your life with- is taken completely out of your hands. You have no say. You have no choice."_

The one thing she had so desperately craved- a semblance of control over her life- had just been taken away. Sam leaving her, her father dying and her transitioning into a wolf had all been out her control. But Jacob, what she and he had together, that had been a choice of hers. She had consider her options and made the decision to be with him. And that made what they had all the more real. Because it was what they truly wanted.

"_Imprinting isn't love...It's mind control. It is not romantic, it is not beautiful. I couldn't live with it...the rest of them are too blissed out to realise how __sick __it really is. I could not live everyday looking at somebody who I didn't choose..."_

Could she do that? Could she really live the rest of her life knowing that deep down it wasn't what she wanted. Could she allow herself to take the easy path, let herself be overcome by pseudo-love and go about the rest of her days? What would she do to her sense of self if she willing gave away the one thing she should have complete control over.

She knew that there was no way. She couldn't do that. She would despise herself every day...and if she made herself stay with Jacob, he would eventually end up despising her too. He would figure it out. He would realise her feelings had changed, that she no longer loved him...and he would resent her for keeping it quiet.

But, if she told him...He had already been played around by Bella. She could not knowingly hurt him. What would that do to him in the long run? Would he turn away from the world, or would he react with aggression and anger like she had.

Leah choked out a loud sob, and her body was soon convulsing as the hard tears continued to fall. This was not how things were supposed to turn out. She was never meant to imprint. Why the fuck had she gone and ruined everything. She was going to hurt Jacob...

But that really wasn't the worst of it. She would hurt him. But she, herself, had proven that he could eventually move on. What she really could not move past was the puppet strings she now felt attached to. She did not want to live this live. Why the fuck should she have to follow some whacked out fate? She wanted to live the life that she decided, that she outlined.

'_I can't...I can't...I can't..._' she thought over and over in her mind. Her stomach churned nauseatingly. She felt dirty and used, like there was something innately wrong with her. It was all her. This was all her. She had caused this to happen. Her body was starting shake, similar to when she was going to phase. Her mind was spinning and she could not focus on anything. She didn't know what to do. She felt completely out of control. Like the world was turning at a faster speed, preparing to throw her off. She wanted to grab onto something, wanting to feel something solid. Everything that was her had been taken away and it had left her with nothing.

"I can't fucking do this!" she screamed out loud. The only response she received was a few leaves fluttering down from the surrounding trees. That only made her cry even harder, thinking herself stupid that she could receive a magic just from yelling the problem out loud. So fucking stupid.

"_That coven of vampires are arriving tomorrow. It means that we are going to miss out on all the fun."_

Leah inhaled sharply as Jacob's voice floated through her mind. Her mind stopped its crazy motions and left her with something. It had just occurred to her that there was a decision she could make for herself...

_**XXXXX**_

Leah breathed deeply as she made her way through the trees. They were close, as the icy, cloying sweet scent assaulted her nostrils. She stopped for a moment, her legs feeling shaky. This was it. This was point where she could continue, or turn around. Taking in a deep breath, she straightened up and took a step forward.

It had scared her, as she contemplated her thoughts in the clearing. She could scarcely believe that she, of all people, had gone to such a place. She would not be sparing Jacob from hurt, she was well aware of that. But she felt a peace at the thought that he would have the knowledge that she loved him. He would never know any different. And that surely had to be better for him in the long run. After all, no matter the ending, she was going to lose him, and he her.

But what kept her walking what that this was her choice. This was her doing. This was her doing. She could not bring herself to think about what this would do to everyone outside of Jacob. She was being selfish, she knew that. But the thought of living when...

Her thought stopped abruptly when three vampires stepped into her view. Keeping her hands at her side, Leah dropped her head and waited...


	24. Wonder

**A/N: **Ok, so these chapters just get harder and harder to write. I want to send out a huge thank you to everyone who is sticking with me througout this story. As I said in the previous chapter's Author Notes, I have been struggling with keeping with my orginal story, but I know that I need to stay true to it. I need to keep going with the story that I have planned, no matter how difficult it may be to write.

I guess the biggest thing I am afraid of is disappointing the people who read this fic. I want to send a huge shout out to those who reviewed the last chapter- your words truly let me know that I am not a huge disappointment. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the reason I am on FanFiction and updating now, when I should be getting sleep for work in the morning :)

I love hearing what readers have to say. Please let me know- I appreciate all responses (especially with the direction the story is moving in at the moment). But, enough from me. Onto the next chapter.

**Music: **_Black Wave/ Bad Vibrations_- Arcade Fire, _Little Water Song_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _Ballad for Dead Friends_- Dashboard Prophet

* * *

_Leah breathed deeply as she made her way through the trees. They were close, as the icy, cloying sweet scent assaulted her nostrils. She stopped for a moment, her legs feeling shaky. This was it. This was point where she could continue, or turn around. Taking in a deep breath, she straightened up and took a step forward._

_It had scared her, as she contemplated her thoughts in the clearing. She could scarcely believe that she, of all people, had gone to such a place. She would not be sparing Jacob from hurt, she was well aware of that. But she felt a peace at the thought that he would have the knowledge that she loved him. He would never know any different. And that surely had to be better for him in the long run. After all, no matter the ending, she was going to lose him, and he her._

_But what kept her walking what that this was her choice. This was her doing. This was her doing. She could not bring herself to think about what this would do to everyone outside of Jacob. She was being selfish, she knew that. But the thought of living when..._

_Her thought stopped abruptly when three vampires stepped into her view. Keeping her hands at her side, Leah dropped her head and waited..._

_**XXXXX**_

"Ok!" Alice jumped up from her position on the couch and clapped her hands together. "It's time to go," she announced, her voice much cheerier than it had been when she arrived at Edward and Bella's. "Carlisle, Jasper and the rest are waiting for us."

Bella glanced up from her book. "I see that Little Miss Sunshine is making a sudden return. Can I ask why?"

Alice nodded emphatically. "The coven is almost here, and there is absolutely nothing wrong...yet." She frowned slightly, before vanquishing the expression with a smile. "Keep positive, Alice...Anyway, we need to get home, to the others, so that we can go and meet our guests. There is nothing nicer than a big welcoming party, don't you think?"

"Right," Edward stood with a chuckle. "I'll go grab Nessie," he said, making his way out of the room.

"Good," Alice muttered to herself. "It will all be..." she stopped short, letting out a loud gasp. For a split second Bella was panicking- until Alice picked a vase up from the mantel over the fireplace. "Did you just throw these plants in here? Flower arranging is an _art, _Bella," she huffed, as she starting to pick and rearrange the stalks.

Bella laughed, throwing her hands up in mock-defence. Alice's concern about the arriving coven seemed to be all but gone. It was nice to see. "Sorry, for my lack—" She cut off as Alice suddenly stiffened. The crystal vase slipped from her grip and shattered on the floor. Bella stared at twinkling pieces, completely stunned. She had never once seen a vampire drop anything- their reflexes were too quick. "Alice, what—"

At that moment, Edward flew into the room, a still sleeping little girl in his arms. "Alice?"

She turned to her brother, her eyes wide and fearful. "Just then. We need to go now."

"What is going on?" Bella demanded, looking between the two of them.

"Alice's vision just disappeared," Edward explained. "She had been watching the approaching coven and it went black."

Bella jumped up. "You mean?"

Alice nodded. "They've run into one of the wolves...maybe more than one. It can't be good. If outsiders discover their existence here, it could lead to an outright war. Or whoever it is may get hurt, and then retribution could be brought upon us for allowing them to visit. Or..."

"But, Sam knew they were coming. They were not going to engage. They were not going to attack. It cannot be one of them, can it? Why would your vision disappear?" Bella asked.

Alice shrugged. "It means that something has gone wrong."

_**XXXXX**_

While the rest of the Cullen's had been anticipating their arrival, the speed with which Edward, Bella and Alice entered the house shocked them all. Edward made his way straight to phone and Alice headed to Jasper, knowing that he could calm her, and allow her to focus on regaining her vision. Bella spoke to the rest of family, explaining what had happened. She took comfort in warm weight of her daughter in her arms. Throughout all the drama she had, thankfully, remained asleep.

"Ok," Edward said, placing the phone back in its cradle. "I just spoke with Sam. Emmett, Rosalie, can you head to the reservation? You will coordinate with Sam to ensure that the coven does not cross onto their land. We want to avoid an outright battle, but if you have to, you need to side with the pack. We cannot allow for this to break the treaty, ok?" Emmett nodded, and then grasped Rosalie's hand before the two of them sprinted out the door. Edward paused before continuing. "All but two of the wolves are accounted for." His eyes flickered to Bella's for a moment, and she knew, before he spoke his next words, who they were. "None of them have seen Jacob or Leah at all today."

"But why on Earth would they cross onto our land?" Jasper piped up. "They knew the coven was arriving. What possible reason could there be for them to cross paths?"

Edward and Bella glanced at one another again. He motioned for her to leave the room. As she handed their daughter to Esme and started to walk away, Edward turned to Alice. "Can you try and pinpoint exactly where your vision disappeared? We'll need to get there as soon as possible to stop...help...rescue...whatever will need doing." She gave a nod and with that he went to join Bella.

"Edward!" she sounded wrought. "Could it be them? Do you know which way they were leaving? Surely, they wouldn't have come this way when they knew..."

"If they are together, then they will be fine," Edward said, his voice sounding surer than he felt. "They may not have even left yet. I called Jacob after I spoke with Sam. The phone was engaged. I am sure that he was just speaking with Leah, finalising the details."

Bella gave short nod, chewing on her bottom. "Ok, they're fine...but what if they're not? What if they are out there? Their heads won't be in right frame of mind- they would have been distracted with everything going on! What if—"

"Bella." Edward grasped her shoulders, cutting her off. "Go to Jacob's."

She blinked. "What?"

"The only way we are going to know for sure is if you go and check. Here," he pulled a silver phone from his pocket. "Let me know as soon as you know anything, and I will do the same. Be safe, ok?"

"Ok," she said, taking the phone. Reaching up she pressed her lips into his before turning and sprinting away.

_**XXXXX**_

_Cold...cold...cold..._

_She wonders in silence as she looks above her. The sky...she is under it. And underneath feels like...it feels..._

_Cold._

_And tired. She is so tired. She closes her eyes and waits for the sleep to come. Waits for it to cover her, just like the sky. She wonders..._

_Would sleeping help? Would sleeping make it all better? What it...what it..._

_What if she was wrong? What if this made everything wrong? She was wrong, both in her structure and actions. Why should this be any different?_

_So cold...tired...tired..._

_She wants to open her eyes. She wants to look back up at the sky. The changing sky, moving from day to night. She is moving from one place to another. But she is not sure where she is coming from. She does not know where she will end up._

_Does she even want to go._

_She tries to open her eyes, but they stay shut. She is covered in black, in darkness. What she feels on the inside is now covering her. Surrounding her..._

_Cold and tired..._

_She wonders who will come. Will anyone come? Surely, he will come. He will come and then he will see and then he will break._

_But he will repair. He has to repair, or all of this will be for nothing._

_She sighs. It sounds weak. It sounds scared. She feels scared. She wonders..._

_She does not feel so cold anymore. Still tired, but not cold. She wonders what that means. What will this mean for her?_

_Is she even her anymore?_

_Who is she?_

_She is confused...and scared._

_They will come...but when? The right time?_

_She wonders..._

_And waits..._

_**XXXXX**_

Bella had only been gone a moment when Edward heard Alice call out. His mind flashed with images of nature- the place where she had last seen the approaching the coven. He examined them over as he made his way towards his sister, trying to see some glimpse of whoever had interrupted their arrival. But he could see nothing to indicate if anyone they knew was in trouble.

"Do you know where that is?" Alice asked when he appeared in the room. Nodding, he turned to Esme who was holding his still sleeping daughter. He could hear Alice explaining to Jasper and Carlisle where they needed to go. "Can you stay here with her?"

"Of course," Esme said. "But please, keep me updated." Edward, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle all nodded, before racing out the back door, in the direction of Alice's vision.

"Where's Bella?" Carlisle queried, as they all instinctively increased their speed, the trees surrounding them now nothing but a blur.

"She went to Jacob's house, hoping that she finds him there," Edward replied. "Actually, on that thought, can you call my phone? Tell her where we are headed? If she finds Jacob, they are going to want to help."

With a nod, and without breaking his stride, Carlisle pulled out his phone and dialled.

_**XXXXX**_

Bella burst into Jacob's house without knocking. She could hear Edward's phone ringing in her pocket but ignored it. He could leave a message, but right now she had to find her friend.

"Jacob!" she yelled. "Jacob!"

"What the..." she could hear him muttering before he appeared in front of her. "Bella?"

"Oh thank god," Bella breathed, before throwing her arms around him. "You're ok."

"Oomph!" he gasped. "Bells, you gotta be careful with this new found strength of yours...wait." He grasped her arms and pulled them away from her "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here- I asked you stay away. Now is not the time for you to start ignoring what I ask..." He trailed off, as he starting piecing together everything she had just said. "Hey, what do you mean I'm ok? Why wouldn't I be? What is going on, Bella?"

"Alice lost her vision of the approaching coven," Bella let out in a rush. "It just disappeared. We can only assume that they have run into a member of the packs. We called Sam- everyone was accounted for, except you and Leah. Edward and I knew that you and Leah were leaving tonight. We were concerned that you could be in trouble. But you're not. You're ok. You're alright."

Jacob heard everything that Bella was saying, but all he could focus on was the possibility of him and Leah in trouble. He could not even get angry at the fact that Edward had spilled their secret to Bella. He was alright. But...

"No, I'm fine. But Leah..." Jacob trailed off, and Bella's eyes widened.

"You don't know where she is?" she asked.

He shook his head. "She left here a little while ago. Said that she needed to go for a walk...fuck, she was completely distracted. That fucking coven would be the last thing on her mind. We have to go. We have to go look for her. If she is out there on her own..."

Bella held up a hand. "Just wait a second," she said, pulling out the phone and raising it to her ear. "We might have a lead."

Jacob's stomach churned as he watched Bella listen to her messages. Leah had to be ok. They were just getting worked up over nothing. The little pixie was not one hundred percent accurate with her special trick. It had to be something wrong with her. She had stuffed up. They were getting worried about nothing. Leah had gone for her walk, and right now she was making her way back home to get her things. Then the two of them would be able to....

"Jacob," Bella's voice broke into his thought. "I know where we can go." She relayed the whereabouts of the location to him. "Unless you want to check Leah's place first?"

He shook his fervently. "No. If she is there, then she is fine and we will just be wasting time. But if she isn't, if she does need help, then I sure as hell want to get there as soon as possible. Now come on. Let's go."

_**XXXXX**_

_She cannot wait anymore. And she no longer wonders..._

_But she can hope..._

_Hope that it is not a mistake..._

_Hope that..._

_Hope..._

_What is hope? She does not know anymore. She knows nothing anymore._

_All she knows is the slowly surrounding black._

_She is not scared anymore. The black is a comfort, it warms._

_It makes her feel safe._

_It tells her that it will be ok._

_She tries to believe it._

_She hopes that it is right._

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob stayed in human form as he ran with Bella. He knew that she was slowing herself to stay with him. It was stupid, he could be running so much faster if he just phased. But for reason, he did not want to. He tried to believe that everything was going to be ok. But something was telling him that it wasn't. He could phase if he needed to when he got there...but if the worst case scenario was going to greet him, then he needed his dignity.

'_Stop it,_' he screamed at himself. Why the fuck was he thinking about the worst case scenario for? It was sick. Why was he willing for something like that to happen? Why could he not just think that everything was hunky dory?

'_Because nothing ever is hunky dory_,' he told himself viciously. Things turned to shit around him. It was simple. The fact that he and Leah were planning on fleeing that night was proof.

He just hoped with everything he had, that they would still get that chance to run. That nothing would stand in their way.

He heard Bella's sharp intake of breath before he saw anything. He halted to a stop, as she did. She was looking ahead of him, into the trees. He knew that she could see, or hear something, that he was not yet privy to.

"Jacob," she whispered, placing her hand in his upper arm. He shoved it off. He couldn't have her touching him. Her tone of voice was enough. It told him everything that he did not want to hear. He took a slow step forward, a loud rushing noise echoing in his ears.

There was movement ahead, and soon he saw familiar faces stepping out from the trees. Embry and Quinn. They looked at Jacob with expressions that made him want to scream. But he stayed silent. He stayed strong. It would be ok. It had to be ok. Whatever it was could be fixed. Whatever it was could be repaired.

But then, Sam came into view. He was looking ahead, his expression one of stone. An expression that was fighting to become something else all together. His eyes remained focused on a point beyond Jacob. In his arms, covered by a blanket, was a body. A hand had dropped below the blanket. Jacob's eyes fixated on it, on the way that swayed with Sam's movement. On the way that it just...hung...

Lifelessly.


	25. Response

**A/N: **Ok, so I am back with another chapter. Hope that I haven't left you waiting too long after the end of the previous chapter. Hopefully, you will not have to hunt me down :)

Once again I need to thank you all for sticking with me. I have read other fics where the readers have turned on the author for making decisons like mine. However, you have all been so supportive and caring, and I truly cannot thank you enough for that. To those who take the time to review, well you are the ones who make me feel guilty because I do not have the time to churn out a chapter every couple of days. For you, I wish I could give you a chapter every day.

As I have been saying at the start of the previous chapters, I still have a bit of story to tell- the chapter count is still at 32, plus epilogue. So please, stick with me and let me know what you think. And now, on to the chapter.

**Music: **_Details in the Fabric- _Jason Mraz and James Morrison, _The Sword and the Pen_- Regina Spektor, _Didn't Know_- Dash & Will

* * *

_He heard Bella's sharp intake of breath before he saw anything. He halted to a stop, as she did. She was looking ahead of him, into the trees. He knew that she could see, or hear something, that he was not yet privy to._

_"Jacob," she whispered, placing her hand in his upper arm. He shoved it off. He couldn't have her touching him. Her tone of voice was enough. It told him everything that he did not want to hear. He took a slow step forward, a loud rushing noise echoing in his ears._

_There was movement ahead, and soon he saw familiar faces stepping out from the trees. Embry and Quil. They looked at Jacob with expressions that made him want to scream. But he stayed silent. He stayed strong. It would be ok. It had to be ok. Whatever it was could be fixed. Whatever it was could be repaired._

_But then, Sam came into view. He was looking ahead, his expression one of stone. An expression that was fighting to become something else all together. His eyes remained focused on a point beyond Jacob. In his arms, covered by a blanket, was a body. A hand had dropped below the blanket. Jacob's eyes fixated on it, on the way that swayed with Sam's movement. On the way that it just...hung..._

_Lifelessly._

_**XXXXX**_

The group was sombre as they settled themselves into the Black's living room. The quiet was uncomfortable and awkward, but none knew exactly how to break the silence. What was there to say? How could they just sit and discuss what had happened.

Sam slumped against the far wall, his left hand supporting his swollen right. He squeezed it gently, wincing as the pain sliced through. When it had dissipated, he did it again...and again...and again. It was the only source of distraction that he could think of.

Carlisle saw him doing this from across the room. With a sigh, he picked up his medical bag and made his way over. "Here," he said, gently taking Sam's hand. "Let me take care of that." His cool, long fingers gently prodded at the flesh. "I don't think that it's broken..." he reached down, grabbing an ice pack from his bag. "Keep this on it- it will help with the swelling."

Sam nodded mutely, before looking Carlisle in the eyes. "How is..." he trailed off.

"He will heal," Carlisle replied, and then paused. "Physically, anyway. Don't beat yourself up about it, you needed to do it. It was the only way that we could calm him down."

"Hey," Embry spoke up hoarsely from his spot on the couch. "Who is with Sue and Seth?"

"Charlie is over there, with Quil Senior, Bella and Ness," Edward replied. "I think Emily was going over there as well." He ended the statement with a questioning glance at Sam, who nodded in response. "We should probably leave it at that for now. We don't want to crowd them. Not at a time like this."

At that moment the front door creaked open and Rosalie and Emmett walked into the room. Their expressions were etched with stress and anger. "There is no sign of them," Emmett announced to the group. "They must have fled when they realised...Anyway, we lost their scent on the beach, at the shoreline. We could have kept going, but there was no telling what direction they swam in or..." he trailed off, frustration edging his voice.

"Emmett," Sam spoke up. "We appreciate that you have assisted us in this matter. They are your kind; you have no reason to side with us."

"You have helped us before," Carlisle said. "Besides, they have arrived at the place we call home, and attacked unprovoked. We would never ally ourselves with such creatures."

Several moments of silence descended on the room, before Billy spoke up. "What exactly happened out there?" he asked. "Do you have any idea?"

"We have some," Sam said. He inhaled deeply before starting to speak.

_**XXXXX**_

_Jacob was fixated on the hand. Sam was talking but he could not hear any of the words. They were completely unimportant. What was important was the hand. He knew that hand. He knew that hand too well. That hand was telling him that something was very, very wrong, and that he needed to fix the situation right now._

"_Jake," Sam's voice finally assaulted his ears. "Jake, you—"_

"_Give her to me," Jacob demanded, stepping up to the small group. 'Give her to me."_

"_Jake, you need to calm down," Embry said gently. "Let us take care of this."_

"_Don't fucking tell me what to do!" Jacob yelled, grasping Leah and pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly as he dropped to the ground. As he did, the blanket fell slightly, revealing her eyes closed, and all expression void. "Leah," he whispered urgently into her ear. "Open your eyes, Leah. Talk to me Leah. Say something. We are going to fix this. I'm going to make you feel better, ok? Everything will be fine and we can still go away. All you have to do is open your eyes. Just open them for me."_

_He ignored the distressed expressions on the faces around him. He ignored the deep, bloody wound on Leah's neck, and the pallid tone of her skin. He only focused on the soft skin of her eyelids, willing them to open._

"_Open them," he whispered. "Please, open them."_

"_Jake," Sam crouched down in front of him. "Jacob, she is gone."_

_Jacob shook his head vehemently. "No, she is not. She is just unconscious. She has been attacked, she needs to recuperate. She will wake up soon. She will."_

"_Jake, we have done everything. We found her, we performed CPR for over ten minutes, but she has no heartbeat. I hate that this has happened, I hate that you need to hear this, but she is dead. Nothing is bringing her back."_

"_Shut up!" Jacob bellowed. "Stop saying that! It's not true. She is fine; she is going to be fine. Come on, Leah, open your eyes. Do it for me, please."_

"_Jacob, I cannot fathom what you are feeling right now," Sam started, "but you need to realise that she is not coming back. She is not going to open her eyes. We can't stay out here with her. We have to take her home to her mother."_

_Jacob looked up at Sam with narrowed eyes. "Shut your fucking mouth," he hissed. "You have no right. You are just giving up on her all over again. You don't care about her- you made that quite obvious. You have no say in this manner, so get the fuck out of my face before I throw you away."_

_Sam stepped back helplessly, looking around at the people surrounding him. Quil gave him a short nod, before slowly approaching Jacob, who was still murmuring in Leah's ear._

"_Jake," Quil said quietly as he gently took his friend's hand and placed it on Leah's chest. "Feel. There is no heartbeat. Just feel it Jacob."_

"_No, no, no, no!" Jacob yelled. "She is not dead. She can't be. Because if she is...I can't...it's not fair...she can't be. She can't be. She's not. Open your eyes, Leah!" He shook her body, desperate for some reaction. "Wake up!"_

"_Jacob, she's not responding to you. You—"_

"_It's because she needs help. Where is Carlisle?" Jacob look up and around, his eyes wild. "I need Carlisle. He needs to help her. Carlisle! Somebody get him. He can fix this. He can fix her. She needs help."_

"_Jacob," Carlisle's voice broke through. "I'm here." He stepped out of the shadows, from where he had been standing with Edward, Alice and Jasper. They had come across the wolf pack as they worked desperately on Leah's body. He had been the one to tell them that there was no point, that there was no chance of her coming back._

"_Carlisle," Jacob's eyes lit up with a flicker of hope. "You have to help Leah. You need to fix her. She's hurt- you need to fix her."_

_Carlisle knelt down beside him. "Jacob. I tried to help her before."_

"_And you can help her now," Jacob insisted. "You have to."_

"_Jacob," Carlisle's voice was firm. "I need you to listen exactly to what I am saying. Can you do that?" There was a moment before Jacob nodded. "I examined Leah earlier, when Embry and Quil were performing CPR. She had no heartbeat, and her pupils were fixed and dilated. They continued to try and start her heart for several more minutes, but there was no use. I can't help her, Jacob. I cannot fix Leah, because she has died."_

_Jacob's hold on Leah's body lessened slightly. "But...what if you missed something? We can get her to your place. You still have all the equipment from Bella. You can operate. You can help her."_

"_Jacob," Carlisle reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am so sorry. Leah is dead and there is nothing that any of us can do."_

_**XXXXX**_

Sam's voice remained steady as he addressed the group. "Emmett and Rosalie had just joined us when they got the call from Jasper. We were so close to the location- we managed to get there in less than 30 seconds. I couldn't help but wonder if only we had headed out earlier, we may have been able to stop...." he shook his head slightly. "Anyway, the area reeked of vampire, but they were nowhere to be found. We saw Leah, unconscious, almost immediately. We could see that she was bleeding from the neck."

"Rosie and I took off then," Emmett interjected. "We thought that they couldn't have gotten too far, so we followed their trail, and well, you know how that ends."

"I got to Leah first," Embry spoke up quietly. "It was obvious that the wound on her neck was a bite and...and there was so much blood. If there had been, for a moment, doubt as to what had happened to her, that just confirmed all our fears. I grabbed her wrist and checked for a pulse- there was nothing. By then, Quil was next to me, telling me to start CPR."

"My head was telling that there was no point," Quil added, feeling sick at the thought. "That she was already long gone, and that there was nothing we could do, but I had to ignore it. I, we just had to do something. As difficult as Leah can be, she is one of us and I couldn't just stand there and do nothing...what if I willed this? Maybe if I had truly believed that I could have helped, then the outcome would have been—"

"Exactly the same," Carlisle spoke up. "Looking at the nature of Leah's injury, I can safely assume what happened out there. When Leah stumbled across them, in human form, those vampires would have attacked before they realised what she was. The taste of her blood would have spooked them- the thought of having the face other wolves would have been enough to have them run. As vampires, we are aware that you run in packs. They may have even thought that it was a trap. I can only assume that they ran when they realised that Leah was a werewolf."

"So you're saying that she died from one bite, and that's all?" Billy questioned. "How does that work?"

"It works when they severed her jugular while biting," Carlisle replied. "She would have bled out in minutes, seconds even. It wouldn't have mattered if you arrived at the point when they attacked. It wasn't the fact that they bit her, it was where that killed her. She never stood a chance."

_**XXXXX**_

"_Jacob," Carlisle reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I am so sorry. Leah is dead and there is nothing that any of us can do."_

_Jacob stared at Carlisle for several seconds before letting out what could only be described as a howl. He yanked Leah's body up closer, holding her tight. "You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong...you're WRONG!" he screamed at the doctor. "You all are," he spat viciously at the rest of the gathering. "I won't let her go. I won't!"_

"_Jacob, you need to do the right thing for Leah," Carlisle started gently. "Let us take her, and you can go home so that we can help you through this."_

"_Like I am going to let you touch her," Jacob snapped. "You will just throw her in ground and forget about her. You don't want to help. If you want to help me, you can fucking do something for her instead of just giving up."_

_Carlisle frowned as he watched Jacob grow more and more agitated in front of him. He was fast realising that Jacob was not going to accept anything they were saying. Worse still, there was no way he was going to relinquish Leah, either. He needed to do something. The longer they were out there, the worse for Jacob this was going to be. He needed to be home, in familiar surroundings with his family._

"_Jacob," he tried one more time. "Please listen to me. I will help Leah. I just need you to give her to me."_

_Jacob's eyes flashed. "That was a quick change of tune. I won't give her to you. I won't let you touch her. Should have realised that you were just like all the other parasites. Only help others when it suits you...You won't touch her. I won't fucking let her."_

_With a sigh, Carlisle stood and gestured for Sam. "We need to get him calm," he said when the Alpha stepped up next to him. "Otherwise, he will take every one of us on...and quite possibly succeed."_

"_Do__ you have something you can give him?" Sam questioned. "Something that will settle him."_

_Carlisle nodded. "I do. But with the rate his heart is going, and with the adrenaline that is pumping through his body right now, he will metabolise the drug before I have even finished injecting it. The only way it would work would be if he were unconscious. Then I could pump him with it, so that when he wakes..."_

"_Ok then," Sam said and then stepped up to Jacob. "Jake."_

"_What?" _

"_I'm sorry." And with that, Sam's fist connected with Jacob's face, with all the strength he could muster. For a second Jacob looked at him with complete and utter devastation, before collapsing to the ground, out cold._

_**XXXXX**_

Carlisle stepped back into the living room. "He is still out," he announced. "I gave him some drugs...a few more hours and he should wake."

Billy nodded sombrely, the worry etched on his face making him appear even older. He had no idea what to do when Jacob finally woke. He knew that he would be there for his son, help him in any way that he could. Jacob had said that he and Leah had broken up, but his behaviour that day indicated that he still felt strongly for her. Billy knew exactly what it felt like to have a loved one ripped from under you. To see his son experience that again would be enough to destroy him.

"Can I ask a question?" Quil piped up. "Why was Leah out there? I mean, going out for a walk is not unusual, but she knew the coven was approaching. Why would she be on their path?"

"Because she had other things on her mind," Edward replied. "She was distracted by something huge."

"What are you talking about?" Billy asked. "What do you know?"

"I'm sorry, Billy, that you have to hear it like this, but you need to know. And so will Sue." Edward replied. "Jacob and Leah never broke up. They pretended to so that they would be able to sneak out of town and out of the country without you suspecting anything until they were long gone."

"What?" Billy gasped, clutching his chest as if the wind had just been knocked out of him.

"They had tickets to fly out of the country tonight. They wanted to travel the world..." Edward paused. "I helped them. If I had known...this wasn't supposed to happen. But as for her exact reason for being out there, well, I think only Jacob would know."

Billy was shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe this..."

"Billy, I am so sorry—" Edward stopped when the older man held up his hand.

"I am not blaming you...it is just a surprise to hear. I spoke with Jacob earlier. I felt that something was off, but I could never imagine..." he brought his hands up rubbing his eyes. "An hour ago my son believed that he was jetting off with the girl he loved, and now she is dead. How on Earth is going to work through that?"

His question was met with only silence. None of them knew how Jacob was going to do it, they could only hope that he would.


	26. Never

**A/N: **Ok, so a big, huge, gigantic thank you to everyone who has been sticking with me through this fic. I love reading your reviews and finding that I am actually moving some of you! This may sound a little awful, but I have a little 'yay' moment every time I read that I made one of your cry :)

A few reviewers have raised the point of Jacob imprinting. I am telling you now that there will be no chance of that happening in this fic. This whole fic came about as a response to my dislike of imprinting as a plot device. I wanted to explore the not so happily ever after side of this occurance (because hey, not everything can be rainbows and puppy dogs, right?) If I were to have Jacob imprint, it would go against everything I have built up in this fic.

Ok, so once again thank you to all my supporters, and here is the next chapter. And please, if you want, let me know what you think.

**Music: **_Neapolitan Dreams- _Lisa Mitchell, _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_- Mattafix, _Exit Music (For a Film)- _Radiohead

* * *

Jacob jolted awake, a cold sweat dampening his body and breathing erratically, as if he had just ran a marathon- against a Cullen. With a groan, he turned onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes. He had no choice but to lay and run over everything, all the images that had accumulated in his head. Over and over again. The dark, and the red. It was enough to make anyone sick.

"Hey, are you ok?" Jacob felt a weight drop on the end of the bed, and then start to move across. He pulled up his arm, watching as Leah crawled up the bed and nestled in beside him.

"I'm fine," he replied in a hoarse voice, before adjusting so that he could pull her in tighter.

Leah frowned slightly. "You had the dream again, didn't you? The nightmare- the one where I died." She brought a hand up, placing against his cheek. His skin was hot and sticky under hers.

He nodded shortly. "Yup. The same one." He paused. "When I wake up, I tell myself that it was just a dream, but everything always seem so real. Seeing you..." he shuddered. "It still feels that way. They make me feel that something is going to go wrong."

"Now you listen to me, Jacob Black," Leah said, sitting up. "Nothing is going to go wrong. I am here. We are here -together. Nothing is going to change that."

"But what about when we leave? What if something happens then? What if these dreams are telling me what is going to happen? That you—"

"Jacob," Leah cupped his face with her hands. "That was the dream. We didn't need to leave, remember?"

Jacob blinked, confusion written all over his face. "But..."

Leah sighed, before pressing her lips onto his forehead. "I hate what these dreams do to you," she said softly. "Let me jog your memory. We were planning on leaving. Mum was occupied with a plumber at home, so I was at yours. You had just spoken to your father. He felt that something was off in your voice and got worried. He came home early and discovered us as we were about to leave. We had no choice but to tell him everything. He realised that, due to us about to take such a drastic step, he needed to adjust his thinking. So did my mother. As a result, we never left the reservation."

Jacob's eyes widened slightly. "Oh god," he murmured, smacking himself on the forehead. "How the fuck could I forget that?"

Leah let out a laugh. "I have no idea- but this is not the first time." She paused. "But, I don't mind getting to be the one to tell how things really are."

"Oh, and why is that?"

Leah winked before lowering her lips to meet his. "Because, you always seem incredibly willing to show me how much I really mean to you afterwards," she murmured against him.

Jacob gladly responded to the kiss, before pulling away slightly. "You seem to be jogging some recesses in my mind, Miss Clearwater," he joked, pulling her back in.

"I am thrilled to hear that...but, unfortunately, we need to stop," she said, abruptly sitting up and smoothing down her hair.

"Are you fucking serious?" Jacob asked, with a snort. "Just like that, hey?"

Leah nodded, stepping off the bed. "It's already late morning, and we are having lunch with our families today." She moved about the room, collecting her clothing from off the floor.

He stared at her incredulously. "What? Why the hell would they want to have lunch with us?"

"Come on, Jacob. Mum and Billy are really trying here. The least we can do is make an effort, too." She pulled her t-shirt over her head. "So, you had better get up quick smart and get ready. If Paul and Seth get into the food before we arrive there will be nothing left. And I don't know about you, but I am starving!"

"Right," Jacob propped himself up on his elbows but was unable move any further as everything suddenly felt unstable underneath him. He thought that he had been a little off kilter because of his nightmare, but he was now starting to think that it was something more. In fact, this whole situation felt off. He looked at Leah, who was adjusting her clothing while looking in his mirror. His mind was telling him that she was hiding something. He wondered if she had given him the whole story. Billy and Sue's turnaround...well, it was all just too clean cut. But then, why would she keep something from him? What purpose would it serve?

Leah turned around then to look at him, her eyes smiling. Her mouth was moving. She was asking him a question but he could not hear a word. She continued talking, but making no sound, completely oblivious to the fact that Jacob was hearing absolutely nothing.

"Leah?" His own voice was muffled. The expression on her face was changing. The light in her eyes was dimming and whatever happiness she had been exuding earlier was long gone. "Leah? What is it?"

She stepped towards him, her hand outstretched. Her mouth opened again. Again there was no sound, but Jacob knew that she was screaming. He tried to move, tried to help her, but his limbs felt leaden and he was unable to get off the bed.

"Leah!" he screamed.

Her hand suddenly flew to her neck, her eyes wide. She stared at Jacob, fear clouding her expression. He could only watch helplessly as the colour drained from her skin and her hand dropped limply to her side. It was painted with a bright, wet red, that travelled in small rivulets down her fingers, dripping onto his carpet.

Jacob's eyes travelled back up to her neck, where her hand had been. There was a gaping wound, oozing thick, dark blood. It flowed down onto her t-shirt, soaking the fabric. There was so much. It just kept flowing and flowing.

Leah screamed again, and in that instant Jacob could hear her. He jerked up, fighting to get off the bed, fighting to get to Leah. He had to get to her, he had to help her. He had...

Jacob's eyes flew open as he abruptly sat up. He scrambled frantically at the space beside him. It was empty. She wasn't there.

'_And you know why_.'

And with that thought, Jacob felt the air squeeze out of his lungs. Bringing his hands to his face, he rested his elbows on his knees, trying desperately to inhale deeply. After a few moments the panic dissipated slightly and he was able to take a few shaky breaths.

It was all a dream. The hope, the thought that everything might actually be ok, was a dream. Everything else, all that he could not bear to think about, that was what had really happened. That was his reality now.

With his head still buried in his hands, Jacob tried desperately to piece together everything that had happened. He had no idea how he had actually gotten into his room. The last thing he could actually comprehend was seeing Sam walking towards him and...

The hand.

"Oh god," Jacob groaned, his stomach rolling. What the fuck had happened. She had to be ok. Surely, she had to be ok. She...

A cough from across the room interrupted Jacob's thoughts. He dropped his hands and looked up, his eyes struggling to focus on his whereabouts. He blinked several times before he made out Quil seated in the corner, by the window.

"How did I get in here?" Jacob struggled to speak, his throat dry and itchy.

Quil's expression was downcast and he was unable to meet Jacob's eyes. "Dr Cullen had to sedate you." He pointed to glass of water sitting on the bedside table. "He told me that you should drink when you wake up- your throat will be dry. And that you should expect to feel out of sorts for a little while- almost like you've been drinking."

Jacob made no move to pick up the glass. "And what...what about..." he tried, but he could not get the words out.

"Jake," Quil lifted his head and Jacob was able to see the red rimming his eyes. "I am so sorry."

"No," Jacob shook his head adamantly. "Don't say that. Please don't say that."

"Jacob, do you remember what happened last night?" Quil queried gently.

"I...I...I can't," Jacob whispered. And that was the truth. He couldn't think of it. He knew what had happened, but the moment those words were spoken, it would be real. There would be denial; there would be no burying his head. If he spoke those words, he would have to face them.

"Jake, I..." Quil trailed off helplessly. He had no idea how to approach the situation. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do?

"Quil," a soft voice came from the direction of doorway, and he looked to see Emily standing there. "Dr Cullen said that he was awake. Is it ok if..." she gestured towards Jake and Quil stood up, relieved. He felt guilt at how eager he was to leave, but he knew that he would be no help for his friend.

He paused in the doorway, placing a hand on Emily's shoulder. She looked up at him, her expression saying that she would be ok.

When he was gone, she made her way over to Jacob, sitting down next to him on the bed. "Hey," she said, quietly, reaching out and placing a hand on his arm. "I am not going to ask how you are doing, because I think that we both know the answer. I am not going to ask if you want to talk, because, in all honesty, it is not going to be any help today. But I am going to sit here with you, because nobody should be alone after...after—" she broke off at that point.

A wave of exhaustion crashed over Jacob and he found himself slumping against Leah. "What am I going to do without her?" he asked. "What are we going to do?"

Emily wrapped her arms tightly around him, her thoughts on the fact that she only recently truly gotten her cousin back and now... "I don't know," she whispered. And that was the honest truth.

There was no much that Jacob wanted to say, but found that he could not voice one word. All that he could do was relent to barrage of sobs that had been threatening to fall since Quil had spoken to him this morning.

Emily wanted desperately to tell him that everything was going to be ok, but as her own tears started to fall, she knew that words would be redundant. And so, she just tightened her hold around him, letting him know that she would be there.

_**XXXXX**_

At times in her human life, in light of the Cullen's strength, Bella had often viewed herself as helpless. But right now, as she stood by watching her daughter with Seth, she felt truly helpless for the first time, and no amount of vampire strength was going to change that.

Seth had not said a word all night. He had just taken her daughter into his arms and settled onto the couch. He had remained there, gently rocking the small body in his arms trying, Bella thought, to gain any sense of reassurance that he could.

Sue, on the other hand, had not stopped. Bella could not imagine what it would be like to lose a husband and daughter in such a short amount of time. She could only think that she would be a complete wreck, not wanting or not able to function.

However, Sue was anything but. If a stranger were to walk in, they would think nothing odd. They would just see a busy mother trying to get everything organised.

"I need to organise the funeral," Sue was saying as she scrubbed at the kitchen bench.

"Why don't you wait some," Bella suggested, approaching the older woman. "You have been up all night. Go get some rest, and then we can talk about that."

"I think that it should be outside. No church, Leah was never really into that," Sue continued as if Bella had said nothing at all. "But she loved the outside. We should have it outside."

"Sue," Bella came up right beside her and took the sponge out of her hands. "Sit. Go, be with Seth."

Sue shook her head vehemently. "I can't. I can't stop," she said, snatching the sponge. "If I stop, then everything will stop. I need to be distracted. I need to feel productive." She looked up at Bella. "Because I cannot bear to feel anything else right now. I just can't."

"Ok," Bella acquiesced. "I understand. Now, what do you need me to do?"

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob had no idea of the time when he finally stumbled out of his bedroom. He had cried himself to sleep in Emily's arms and had, thankfully, woken to find her gone. As much as he appreciated her being there, he was in the need of something other than gentle support.

He made his way into the living room. Billy was there, along with Sam and Paul. At the sight of his son, Billy let out a sigh.

"Jacob, I—"

"Don't," Jacob held up a hand. "I don't want to hear anything coming out of your fucking mouth right now."

"Jake," Sam said sharply, responding to his tone.

"Sam," Jacob's voice was hard. "I have something that I need to say. I am feeling volatile enough, so I suggest that you don't provoke or upset me anymore. This is not a big room."

Sam stared at him for a few moments before giving a short nod.

Jacob turned back to Billy. "I am assuming that Cullen told you what the plan was last night?" Billy nodded. "Well, let me tell you my side...I love her," he said, refusing to speak in past tense. "I love Leah more than I have anyone. What I thought I felt for Bella was nothing but a silly crush compared to Leah. I know that you know what I am talking about. You loved mum, after all, right?"

"Yes," Billy responded. "But your mother and I—"

"Are a completely different story," Jacob interrupted. "I get that. Totally different, because you were actually allowed to be with one another. You did not have some power hungry dictatorship telling you what you could and couldn't do, right dad?" Jacob paused. "We don't know if we are it for one another, but we want the fucking opportunity to find out!"

"Jacob." Despair was written all over Billy's face.

"No! You don't get to talk. You have talked enough. We were going to leave the country last night, without saying good-bye. And do you know why we were forced to take such a drastic step? Because of you and your stupid fucking council and your stupid fucking rules."

"We thought that we were doing the right thing," Billy protested. "I never would have—"

"Wouldn't have what? It is too late for those statements, wouldn't you think?" Jacob spat. "Do you know why Leah was out in the woods yesterday? Because she was upset about leaving. If we were able to, we would have stayed. We were leaving because that was the only way we could be together freely. What would you and mum have done, dad? If somebody tried to keep you apart. Would you have stood by and let that happen? Or would you have done anything to ensure that you had each other?"

Billy's head dropped. "I would have fought."

"I thought so. Well, that is what we were doing. Us leaving- that was our fight. But it was not an easy choice to make. Leah wanted to go for one last run. She loved being about to run through the forest, and I guess that she saw it a fitting good-bye. Neither of us realised that it would truly be her last good-bye." He took a step closer to his father. "She is dead and it is your fucking fault!"

Billy's head flew up. "You cannot think that I wanted—"

"You wanted us apart," Jacob hissed. "Well, congratulations papa, you just got your wish."

"No," Billy shook his head. "No. I didn't—"

"You were keeping us apart," Jacob spoke slowly, enunciating every word. "You were the reason we were leaving. You were the reason Leah needed to farewell this place. You were the reason she was out there at that particular point in time. You were the reason she got her throat ripped out by some leech. You are the reason why she is no longer here. You, dad, it was all fucking you!"

"No," Billy's voice was barely audible. "I made a mistake, but what happened was not of my hands."

"It was," Jacob said, turning to walk out of the room. "You will realise it soon enough and I hope that it does to you, what you have done to me and Leah. I will never forgive you for this. Never."


	27. Alone

**A/N: **So, I'm back (a little later than anticipated- so apologies for that). Once again thank you to everyone for your support of this story. I am putting through the wringer, but you are sticking with me, and I am truly grateful. I am having such a great time writing this fic (not that enjoying torturing these characters...) and a lot of that is due to those of you who continue to read and stick with this story. I love you all.

Ok, enough from me. Read on and let me know what you think.

**Music: **_The Last Day on Earth_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _Somersault_- Decoder Ring, _Shrinking Universe_- Muse

* * *

_Billy's head flew up. "You cannot think that I wanted—"_

_"You wanted us apart," Jacob hissed. "Well, congratulations papa, you just got your wish."_

_"No," Billy shook his head. "No. I didn't—"_

_"You were keeping us apart," Jacob spoke slowly, enunciating every word. "You were the reason we were leaving. You were the reason Leah needed to farewell this place. You were the reason she was out there at that particular point in time. You were the reason she got her throat ripped out by some leech. You are the reason why she is no longer here. You, dad, it was all fucking you!"_

_"No," Billy's voice was barely audible. "I made a mistake, but what happened was not of my hands."_

_"It was," Jacob said, turning to walk out of the room. "You will realise it soon enough and I hope that it does to you, what you have done to me and Leah. I will never forgive you for this. Never."_

_**XXXXX**_

Open eyes.

Throw back covers.

Get out of bed.

Shower.

Brush teeth.

Ignore Billy.

It was a simple enough routine to follow. Granted, it had only been a couple days since Jacob came up with it, but it was working from him. Separating each day into a set of specific instructions meant that he was focusing on the mundane- not on the awful.

Even so, the days seemed to move like molasses. Time could only creep slowly, meaning that Jacob needed to fight harder and harder in order to keep himself occupied.

One...two...three...

He counted each and every stroke of the toothbrush as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. One hundred. No more, no less.

Thirty-five...thirty-six...thirty-seven...

As he focused on the numbers, he considered the reflection before him. He didn't look any different and that confused him somewhat. Everything inside had changed, surely something on the outside needed to reflect that. He shouldn't look normal, right? If he came across someone who had no knowledge of what had happened, they would think him completely normal. Maybe just a little tired, given the rings under his eyes. That seemed completely wrong to him.

A flash of dark in the corner of the mirror made his heart skip a beat. '_Leah_,' he thought before whirling around. There was nothing, or no one, there.

Jacob shook his head, turning back to the mirror. He was straying from the routine and allowing his mind to wander into the forbidden zone. He needed to focus.

Eighty-one, eighty-two...eighty-three...

Much better.

After finally reaching the hundred mark, Jacob stepped out of the bathroom, expecting to be greeted by total silence. Not a word had been said between father and son since Jacob had spoken his mind two nights ago, and he was happy for it to stay that way. Quiet made it easier for him to focus, which meant that there was less chance of him slipping. He knew that if he had to speak to Billy there would be no way that he could keep his emotions in check.

However, today was different. Jacob frowned at the sound of his father's voice coming from the direction of the kitchen. It was low, and undecipherable- almost as if Billy did not want for Jacob to hear him.

Not realising that his hands had formed into tight fists, Jacob stepped into the kitchen. Billy glanced at him as his continued to talk into the phone, but looked away the second their eyes locked on one another.

"Uh huh," he was saying. "No, Sue was saying that it will just be a memorial of some sort. There won't be a casket...Tomorrow, yes...ok then...I will see you there."

Jacob watched as Billy silently put the phone back in the receiver, feeling completely rocked to the core. Leah's funeral, or memorial service, or whatever the fuck they wanted to call, was the next day. Jacob knew that it was approaching, knew that it was going to happen, but it had just been easier to pretend that he would not have to sit through that.

But, hearing Billy speak those words...

Jacob's train of thought stopped abruptly as a flash of red hot anger ripped through his body. Billy had just been discussing Leah's funeral as calmly as he would the weather.

"I hope you don't think that you would actually be welcome tomorrow," Jacob said, his voice low but laced with venom.

Billy's head whipped up, shocked by the sound of his son's voice. "Excuse me?"

"Leah's funeral. You were just talking like you were actually going to go. I just can't believe that you would even consider showing your face," Jacob replied. "You do realise that you won't be welcome there, don't you?"

Billy's eyes closed briefly and he let out a small sigh. "Jacob, I know that you are hurting. I know that you are angry and that you see this entire situation as my fault," he started. "But I am sorry. The only person who can tell me that I am not to attend is Sue. And in all the conversations that we have had these past couple of days, she has never once said that to me."

"Yeah, well what about how your own fucking son feels?" Jacob demanded. "You didn't consider that before. Maybe you could actually do that this time."

"Jacob, regardless of what you think of me, I loved Leah. I knew her since the day she was born. I watched her grow up and I played a role in her life," Billy said. "I will be going tomorrow to pay my respects."

"I cannot fucking believe you. Just wait, those in the dark will soon know what you have—"

"Jacob," Billy interrupted. "You are angry. I accept that. But tomorrow will not be the time or place for you to air your grievances. Take it out on me as much as you need, but tomorrow is about Leah, and her life- not your anger. You might not be willing to listen to me at the moment, but you will regret making a scene tomorrow. Think about Sue."

"Sue is at just as much fault as you," Jacob shot back.

"Fine, then think about Seth," Billy said. "He lost his father not that long ago, and now his sister. Do you think he would appreciate one of best friends causing trouble at her funeral?"

Jacob was not going to give Billy the satisfaction of telling him that he was right. So, with a final glare in the direction of his father, he turned and walked back in the direction of his bedroom.

After slamming the door behind him Jacob let out a shaky breath, as his body slid down to the floor. The routine was well and truly fucked. Billy had made sure of that. He knew that he would not be able to get tomorrow off his mind. To be completely honest, he was not sure that he could actually do it. Have to witness grief from so many people. It was going to be hard enough dealing with his own.

"I can't fucking do this," he muttered to himself. "I can't..."

Jacob trailed off as he caught a dark flash in the corner of his eye. His throat constricted as his thoughts automatically went back to the bathroom. He turned his head to the side, all the while convincing himself that he was crazy, and stopped when he saw her.

"Leah," he whispered.

She was just standing there, her face expressionless. Her eyes bore into his and he wanted nothing more than to sweep her up in his arms. He jumped up, and in that moment she disappeared.

"Leah?" His voice took on a desperate tone as he whirled around, trying to see where she had gone.

But there was no sign of her.

'Of course there isn't,' Jacob told himself harshly. 'Because she is fucking dead. You imagining her is not going to change that fact.'

_**XXXXX**_

When Jacob's eyes fluttered opened the following morning, he did not even bother attempting to go through his routine. The knowledge of what he was going to do that day had been weighing on him all night- in both his lucid and dreaming states.

After sitting up and throwing the covers off, Jacob glanced to the corner of his room and felt his stomach clench. Leah was standing there again, staring at him with deep and dark eyes. He jumped off the bed, stumbling slightly. After a few moments he regained his balance, his eye moving back to the corner.

It was empty.

"Fuck," Jacob muttered under his breath, running his hands through his hair. How the hell was he going to make it through the day?

_**XXXXX**_

Emily stood helplessly in front of the empty wardrobe, unable to make a decision. She grabbed a shirt from a hanger and held it up in front of her, as she turned to face the mirror. After a few seconds she grimaced and then threw it onto the accumulating pile on her bed.

"Em?" She looked in the mirror to see Sam's tall form filling the door frame behind her. "What's going on, sweetie? We need to go soon."

Emily chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't know what to wear- nothing seems right. I...I want to look nice for her, and nothing works."

"Emmy..." Sam's voice was gentle as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her slightly rounded stomach. "Leah never worried about what she wore. Take a leaf from her book."

Emily shook her head. "It sounds so stupid, but I have let her down in the past. This is my last chance to show her how much I cared. I know that clothes are not really going to do that, but..."

"I understand," Sam said. As he pressed his lips onto the top of her head, a sharp knock on the front door echoed through the house. "She always loved red- go with something red," he whispered into her ear, before walking out to the front door.

He was greeted by a dishevelled Jacob. His eyes had deep, black rings under them, his shirt untucked, and a tie hanging loosely around his neck.

"Jake."

Jake looked up at him. "I...I can't do today alone," he said quietly. "I didn't know who else..."

Sam stepped to the side, holding his arm out. "Come in."

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob could not remember the entire service, just fractions of the whole. He remembered the sea of sombre faces, sitting and murmuring quietly among each other in the afternoon sun. Each person who made eye contact with him looked at him with the same expression. The pity in his eyes made him feel ill.

He remembered sitting next to Emily, and having her grasp his hand. He could hear her weeping quietly throughout the duration of the service.

He remembered that he did not cry. He could only remember an intense exhaustion settling upon him. He did not have the energy to react one way or another.

He remembered Seth getting up to speak about his sister. However, exactly what was said was a mystery to him. Jacob could only remember staring at his younger friend, wondering how he could find the strength to get up at talk at such an event. He remembering thinking himself weak, as he knew there would be no way he could do that. He did not have that type of inner strength.

Jacob knew that other people got up and spoke, but he could not remember who. He remembered that there was no casket and that somebody had told him why, but that reason had escaped him.

He remembered seeing Billy embrace Sue. He remembered the anger that had coursed through his blood at the sight of the two. He remembered wanting to confront them, to expose them to all the people who were there mourning an event caused by them.

But then he remembered what Billy had said the day before. It was then that he farewelled Emily and Sam, and left them all behind. He couldn't be around people anymore. He needed to be by himself.

But one thing stuck most clearly in his mind. That throughout the entire service a lone figure stood on the edges of the tree line, staring at him. Jacob could only see her out of the corner of his eye- he did not dare to turn and look at somebody who was not really there.

Because, that would make him crazy, right?

_**XXXXX**_

Sue placed the sealed box on the coffee table and then sat down on the couch before it. The house was empty, the last guests from the wake had left an hour or so ago. Seth had accompanied Bella and Nessie home, promising that he would return shortly.

Sue could not train her eyes away from the box. She was not sure why she had decided to go with a cremation, instead of a burial. For some reason, it seemed more Leah. She would not have wanted to be left to stay in one place for eternity. She was a free spirit, after all.

But now, Sue needed to decide where to scatter her daughter's ashes. Her throat tightened at that thought. This was so wrong. A parent should not have to decide what to do with a child's body. It made the universe feel off-kilter, like the Earth was rotating in the wrong direction.

She sucked in a sharp breath, feeling a familiar prickling behind her eyes. She had been fighting this for days, by staying busy and distracted. By cleaning the house, organising the service, making sure that Seth was being looked after.

But there was nothing left to distract, nothing left for her to do but stare at the remnants of her daughter and let the tears finally fall.

_**XXXXX**_

If anything, Jacob found it harder during the days after Leah's funeral. Life on the reservation seemed to move towards the normal. People were going about their day and all Jacob wanted to do was scream at them. How could they just go on? How could they begin to forget so easily?

He couldn't bring himself to leave the house. He did not want to face people, to have them give him the same looks at the funeral or worst of all, have them smile and greet him like any old day.

He was alone; it was as simple as that. Billy had tried to speak to him several times after the service, but Jacob had blatantly ignored him. He had no idea why his father thought things would change, but there was not a chance in hell that he would ask him.

If he had taken a moment he would have been able to see the devastation reflecting in Billy's eyes. But he was unable to see past the walls he had put up around himself, unable to see past his own pain.

He stayed in his room most of time, only foraying into the kitchen for the occasional meal. He liked it in there. It was dark and confined, and there was still the faint scent of Leah lingering in the air. And most of all, he was able to stare at her unabashedly whenever she appeared.

This was happening more and more frequently.

She still remained silent, just staring at him without an expression on her face. While he knew that she was not real, he wanted so desperately to know what she feeling. He wanted her to tell him what he should be doing, how he should be reacting. He just wanted her- no matter how crazy it may have seemed.

Four days after the funeral, Jacob was in the kitchen putting together a sandwich. He had heard Billy leave and was taking advantage of the empty house. Unfortunately, his father must not have gone far, as he had only just smothered the bread with mayonnaise when he heard the front door open again.

"Jake," Billy said, his voice tinged with surprise, as he wheeled into the kitchen. "How are you?"

His appetite suddenly gone, Jacob just dropped the knife he was holding and made for the doorway.

"Jacob," Billy was pleading. "Please..."

Jacob did not even glance back as he strode back to his room. He inhaled deeply, trying to control the masses of emotions stirring up inside. It infuriated him that he allowed Billy to affect him in such a manner. He hated what he was becoming.

It was then that he saw her, standing and staring.

"Leah," he said, using that one word as plea for help, but she did not respond. "Leah!"

As her silence continued, the fury started to boil under Jacob's skin. Why was she even showing up if she was going to stand there? Was he that completely fucked up that he couldn't even get a hallucination right?

"Why won't you speak to me?" he yelled. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Her expression reacted slightly to this, her brow furrowing slightly.

"What do you want from me?" he demanded. "What more do you want from me? I want you so much but I can't! I fucking can't!" He reached, grabbing the first object he could find, and threw it against the wall. "I just want to be able to talk to you," he let out hoarsely as he dropped to the floor.

Leah did not move, but her eyes were reflecting the pain he was feeling.

"I just...miss you..." he let out, before burying his face into his hands. Within seconds violent sobs were racking his body. And as much as he wanted to feel it, as much as he needed to feel it, there was no small, comforting hand on his back.

There was nothing but him. He was alone.


	28. Need

**A/N: **Ok, yeah, it's me and I'm still alive :) Let's just say that real life is a bitch. Well, not a complete bitch, as some of things that have been keeping me from writing have been pretty incredible, including seeing the amazing Regina Spektor live (so had to get that in there- I am still jazzed up about that). But anyway, I am not going anywhere until I finish this fic (and even then I won't be going anywhere, as ideas for a new fic are starting to circulate...)

A few reviewers have queried as to where this story is going and if the rest of the story is just going to be a depressed Jacob. Yes, Jacob is down at the moment. He is going through a grieving process. He will move past that, I promise. As for the fic as a whole, I have mentioned several times that I had the whole thing planned before I started posting. I knew exactly where it was going to go. As I have written details have changed, but the ending will still be the same. There are only 4 chapters, plus an epilogue to go. We are on the home straight guys- I am not just going to be dragging this out with depressed Jacob. There is a definite conclusion to this fic so stick with me.

I appreciate your feedback so much and I hope that the above addresses any of your concerns. Just to add to that- to my reviewers: you rock my world :)

Now read on and let me know what you think (if you want to, of course)

**Music: **_Cosmic Love- _Florence and the Machine, _Walking on a Dream_- Kate Miller-Heidke, _Running Up That Hill_- Placebo

* * *

She would not go away. Each morning she was there, in the corner of his room, watching as he rose. She was there when he ate, when he left the house as soon as possible and filled his days with meaningless activity to keep him distracted.

Jacob could not be bothered keeping count of the days since the funeral. He was aware that they were amassing and it would not be long before people would be saying 'months' instead of 'weeks', but he could not bring himself to care.

He could feel her watching as he kicked the dirt under his feet. It was aimless wandering this morning. He knew that, eventually, he would end up at Sam and Emily's- his refuge of late- but for now it was nice to think that he had no plan. And it was nice to know that Leah was nearby.

He was no longer angry at her. Still she said nothing, but now he relished that. She, apart from Sam and Emily, was the only one who put no pressure on him. She never inquired as to how she was feeling and most of all, she expected nothing from him. He could talk to her, and she would not judge. She would not tell him how to go on about his days. She would just look into his eyes with hers and make him feel some sense of comfort for the briefest of seconds.

And then the crushing truth would fall upon him once more.

_**XXXXX**_

Emily felt the familiar strong arms wrap around her and smiled faintly. "I was beginning to think that you weren't going to be home in time," she said, turning around to face Sam. "Dinner is almost ready- could you please set the table?"

Sam nodded, as he leaned down and pressed his lips into hers. "Three again?"

"Yup," Emily sighed, glancing out the kitchen window. "Jake's been here the past few hours. I sent him out to chop some fire wood." She looked back at her husband. "I'm starting to get worried, Sam. Do you know that he has been talking to...her." Emily's stomach churned slightly. She could still not bring herself to utter Leah's name.

Sam brow furrowed with concern. "What? Like full conversations?"

Emily shook her head. "No, just every now and then, he'll say something and for a moment he will look like the old Jacob. But then...he'll just go back to that blank expression. He never mentions her name, but I just know that it's her. Should I be worried? Should I talk to him about it, or should I just let it go?"

Sam shrugged. "I have no idea...I have no idea how to help him at all. I was with the other guys today- that's why I was late. Do you know that he hasn't spoken to them at all? He has shut everyone out. Except us. I don't get it."

"He is looking for someone to blame," Emily said quietly, her eyes moving back to the window. "We all do it- things just seem that little bit easier if we can pass the blame onto someone else."She sighed. "He thinks that the reservation betrayed them, by forcing them apart. He is laying the blame on everyone."

"And us?"

"We fought for them. We did what we could...but it wasn't enough."

Sam stepped up behind his wife and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Now who is laying the blame?"

_**XXXXX**_

Billy lay awake in bed, waiting patiently for the sounds of his son returning home. It had become routine for the both of them. Jacob would wake first, and Billy would wait respectfully for his son to leave before rising himself. By the time Jacob returned each evening, his father was already in bed.

Billy sighed. It had been weeks since he had heard his son's voice. The silence, the lack of acknowledgment was crushing him more and more each day. He wanted more than anything for Jacob to turn and scream at him. He would jump at the chance to listen to the most awful things, if only it meant he could hear his son's voice.

If he was yelling, that meant that he was angry and still feeling something. The silence was indifferent and so much harder for Billy to take.

At last he heard the front door open and close. Jacob's heavy footsteps echoed through the house as he made his way to his bedroom. Billy heard him sniff, and then cough before entering his bedroom and shutting the door.

He could only hope that Jacob returning home each night meant something. That he had not given up entirely.

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob flung himself onto his bed, exhausted. Emily had put him to work that day, and for that, sleep was going to come easily. He almost allowed himself a small smile at the thought of Emily that day, telling that him that if he was going to hang around then he had better start making himself useful. She treated as she would have any other day.

He pulled the covers up over him, as he let out a loud yawn. He might actually sleep through the night for the first time since...

"_Jacob."_

_He groaned, letting his eyes flutter open. So much for..._

_His thoughts came to a screaming halt as he caught sight of the figure at the end of his bed. "What..."_

_Leah's eyebrows rose in amusement. "That is all I get? 'What'?" she said, moving to kneel on the edge of mattress._

_Jacob gave a slow nod. "When you shock someone like that, then yeah, that is all you get."_

"_Well then, are you over the shock yet?" she asked slyly, reaching out and placing a hand on his ankle. "Because I would really like to get a lot more."_

_Jacob startled at the feel of her hand on his skin. "How are you doing that?" he asked._

"_What this?" she asked, running her fingers up to his calf. "Why shouldn't I be able to?"_

"_Because..." Jacob shivered. "Because you're dead, Leah."_

_Leah's hand stilled its movement and she frowned slightly. "Did you really have to bring that up? Why couldn't you just leave that be?"_

"_I'm just...confused. Leah, I don't know—"_

"_Ssh," she cut him off. "Don't you miss me?"_

_Jacob paused, taking in the sight of her before him. She looked...alive. "Yes," he replied, hoarsely. "I miss you so much that it makes me feel sick."_

"_Then stop thinking and worrying and just let this happen, ok?" Jacob nodded mutely as she crawled up along his body slowly, before straddling his waist. She splayed her hands on his stomach, before running them up over his chest. "I missed you, too," she whispered. "But we are together now and that is all that matters." With that, she moved so that she could press her lips into his._

_Jacob responded eagerly, wrapping his arms tightly around her body and holding her close. He ran his tongue over her lower lip, demanding entrance, letting out moan when she complied. Though he wanted to continue holding onto her, he let one of his hands moved along her back. It had been too long and he needed to reacquaint himself with all of her curves. Her skin was soft and warm, and he could feel bumps rising under his fingers._

"_Oh god, Leah," he breathed. "Why did you leave?"_

_Leah brought her head up slightly, undulating her hips into his. "I didn't, I promise. I'm here, right?" She continued moving her hips and Jacob's nerves felt on edge as his body started to react. "You can feel me, can't you?"_

"_Y...yes," he managed to get out._

"_Good," Leah said, dropping her head and running her tongue across his chest. "Because I am not leaving."_

"_It's good to hear that," Jacob muttered, moving both his hands to her hips. He grasped her and brought his own hips up to meet her movement. "Don't go anywhere."_

_She bit his nipple softly, before flinging her upper body up and pulling her t-shirt off. She looked down at him through hooded eyes. "Touch me, Jake," she said, her voice low._

_Jacob took a moment to take in the sight of Leah and it left him slightly breathless. He never thought that he would ever get to see this again. He never thought..._

"_Stop thinking," Leah commanded, grabbing his hands and bringing them up to her breasts, "and fucking touch me."_

_Jacob grinned as he squeezed the flesh in his hands, eliciting a loud moan from Leah. He rolled her nipples in-between his fingers, feeling them pebble. Her breath hitched and her hips jerked slightly. Loving what effect he has having on her, he pinched harder with one hand, while trailing the other down her stomach._

"_Like this?" he asked, managing to undo the button on her shorts with one hand. He dipped his fingers teasingly below the waistband, waiting for a response._

"_Fuck, yes," Leah hissed. But before, he could move his fingers any lower, she stood, pulling her shorts off and flinging onto his floor. "Much better, don't you think?" She dropped to her knees, once again, grasping the top of his shorts, and pulling them down. "I like it much better with there nothing between us."_

_She lowered herself completely, so that she was stretched across his body. Without another word, she brought her mouth to his, her kiss laced with fire and desperation._

_One of Jacob's hands made it to the back of her head and fisted her silky, dark hair. The other moved down, directing her body to move with his, making sure that the both of them were getting the friction they desired._

_Jacob could not tell if time was flying or barely moving at all. All he could focus on was Leah's hot, wet heat moving against him and their ragged breaths that were growing louder and louder. "I love you, Leah," he murmured, barely breaking their kiss. _

"_I love you, too," she replied, her breath steamy on his face. "And I want you so much." Her hand snaked down between their two bodies, the movement eased because of their slicked skin. She wrapped her hand around his cock. "And by the feel of it, you want me too," she said, moving her hand up and down a few times._

_Jacob threw his head back, his body arching slightly. "Yes..."_

_Leah pushed her body up, leaning on one hand, while the other continued its ministrations. "How much do you want me?"_

_Jacob shook his head slightly. "Words...can't..." was all that he could manage to get out._

_Leah removed her hand for a moment, slipping it into her own wet folds, before returning to his aching cock. "Do you feel how much I want you right now?" she whispered. "Do you feel how ready I am for you?"_

"_Yes...ugh..." his breath caught in his throat as she rubbed her thumb over his tip. _

"_Do you want to be inside of me? Do you want feel me around you?"_

_He nodded fervently, struggling to talk. If she continued this way, he wasn't going to be able to make it that far._

"_Tell me," she demanded, her hand stopping. "Tell me you want to be inside of me."_

"_I...I want to feel you," Jacob managed. "I want to be inside you."_

_The moment he said that, she raised her body slightly, adjusting so that his tip sat at her entrance. "I want to feel you, too," she said, before pushing down and enveloping him all at once. She leant forward slightly, pressing her palms into his chest as she began to move._

_Part of Jacob want to wrap his arms around her and pull their bodies close, but the other just wanted to relish in the sight of the perfection moving above him. Leah's head was thrown back, her skin glistening with the sheen of sweat. Sighs and moans punctuated each downward movement as her speed and force accentuated, as if she were trying to get him deeper and deeper._

_Jacob's hands moved to her hips, his fingers digging into her flesh. He had almost forgotten what this felt like- to have her pulsating heat surrounding him. And while he wanted to savour the moment, it had been a while. He could feel those familiar waves of pleasure start to coil and build up. Clenching his teeth, he focused on increasing his movements to match hers. He wanted this to last._

"_Stop thinking," Leah gasped, as if reading his mind. "Let go."_

"_But...ugh..." She was rotating her hips, bringing him even closer to the edge._

"_I'm not leaving," she said. "We have all the time in the world."_

_She brought her body forward, pressing her lips into his. The change in her position was all it took, and Jacob let out a guttural moan as he released inside her. "I love you, Leah."_

"_I love you, too."_

Jacob's eyes flew open. All he could see was the pitch black of his room and all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. It had felt so real. His body was reacting as if it had been real. He couldn't...

At that moment, he felt his hand under the covers, wrapped around himself and covered in a sticky mess. His stomach rolled at the thought of what he had just done. He jerked up, off the bed and ran to the bathroom, throwing himself in front of the toilet as he heaved.

_**XXXXX**_

Sue made her way down the dark hallway. Sleep was still not coming easily and she had discovered that doing all the odd jobs around the house after nightfall tired her out to the point where she did not have to force herself to close her eyes.

And like every other night, Sue walked past her own bedroom door and paused at the one further down the hallway. Closing her eyes, she pressed her palm against the cool, brown wood. This door had remained closed for weeks and try as she might, Sue could not bring herself to open it.

And so, with a sigh, she turned and made her way back to her own room, knowing that the next night she would be doing this once again.

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob slumped down against the wall, the contents of his stomach well and truly emptied. He could not stop shaking and he still felt nauseous. What sort of sick fuck gets themselves off with a fantasy of their dead girlfriend?

His stomach rolled threateningly, but he did not bother moving. He knew that there was no more to come up. If only he could get rid of the memory of what he had just done so easily.

"Such a fucking loser," he muttered, throwing his head back against the wall. It was then that he saw her, standing in the corner, watching him. "What?"

But, as usual, she did not respond. Jacob's eyes narrowed. "Why did you leave me behind, hey? Why the fuck did you leave me? Turn me into some twisted fucked-up version of myself? It should have been me! Why was I left behind to deal with all of this? I wish that it could have been me. I want for you to be alive, ok? I want to have to stop feeling like this!"

The selfishness of his words hit him like a tonne of bricks. If it had been him, then Leah would be the one going through this. How could he possibly wish that on the person that he loved? What would even posses him to consider that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He looked at her, taking in the familiar eyes. He wanted so much to reach out and touch her. To have her touch him back. He made to move, but stopped himself. He was clutching onto something that no longer existed. He needed to stop.

"I..." he dropped his head into his hands. "I need you to go, please," he whispered. "I don't want you to go. I want you to stay here, with me, forever. But it's not really you. I need you to go...please."

Jacob was not sure how long he sat there, but when he finally raised his head, the bathroom was empty.


	29. Blame

**A/N: **Ok, hello, yes- I am alive. I just realised how long it has been since I've updated, and I was a little shocked. Time has simply gotten the best of me lately, and for that I am sorry. As well as that, I had some difficulty with this chapter. It just wasn't working out as I planned, and things had to be altered and changed. I kept second guessing myself and, well, as a result, this chapter took a lot longer than expected.  
So, if you have been patient enough waiting for me, I would like to say thank you. I would also like to say thank you to all of those who reviewed. This fic finally broke the 500 review mark. Small time for some other fic writers, but quite ego boosting for myself. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am going to stop rambling now, and let you get on with this chapter, as I have made you wait long enough for it.

**Music: **_Buttons_- Josh Pyke, _Eet_- Regina Spektor, _Strange Teacher_- Jupiter One

* * *

Sue circled slowly in the middle of her living room. It appeared spotless and she was not happy. Her brow furrowed as she scrunched the cloth in her hands. She had planned to clean today. She had thought it would be the perfect way to keep her occupied...

But the kitchen was clean and the bathroom practically sparkling. She had been banking on the living room- it was a magnet for dust. But as soon as she stepped in she remembered how she had spent the day before...

And the day before that, and the day before that...

Sue knew for a fact that there was only one room left in the house that needed cleaning and there was not a chance that she was stepping in there. If she cleaned that, then...

Her reverie was broken by a sharp knock on the front door. Her heart leapt at the thought of a distraction and she hurried to answer it. However, the sight of the person on her doorstop made her stomach churn.

"You are not allowed on this land," she said flatly, making to shut the door. It was fruitless. He moved his hand, holding it open.

"Sam gave me permission," Edward said, his face showing nothing but sympathy for Sue, and it made her feel sick. "When I explained what I wanted to do, he was more than encouraging."

"Fine," Sue sighed. "But you are not welcome in this house. I have nothing to say to you. Go away, please."

"Sue," Edward paused. "I know I am the last person you want to see at the moment, but this is important. Please, give me ten minutes and then I will be gone. I promise." He noticed her hesitating. "I wouldn't be here, unless it was important- surely, you know that."

After a moment, and a few deliberate and vicious thoughts sent in his direction, Sue stepped aside and gestured for him to step inside.

"Thank you," Edward said, making his way into the living room. "How are you?"

Sue raised an eyebrow at him. "You are not here to make small talk. Please, just get whatever you want off your chest and then go."

"Ok." Edward slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a white envelope. "This is for you."

Sue reached out, taking it. "Who is it from?" she asked, preparing to rip it open.

"Leah," he replied.

Sue froze. "Is this your idea of a sick joke?"

Edward shook his head. "It's from Leah. Jacob gave it to me before they were going to leave."

"Excuse me?" Sue could not believe that she was hearing this.

"Leah wrote it, and asked that I pass it on to you after they were long gone. I assumed that it was some kind of goodbye, explanation...I don't know. But she wrote it for you." He paused. "After...I was waiting for the right time to pass it on, but I soon realised that there was going to be no right time. It was going to be hard whenever I passed it over. I don't know..." he shrugged, "I thought that it might help, a little, knowing what she was feeling before..."

Sue stared at him. She inhaled deeply before speaking. "How do you live with yourself?" she asked, her voice low and dangerous.

Edwards blinked, knowing this was coming. "I don't understand," he said, even though he did. Sue's thoughts were coming through loud and clear. However, he knew it would be best for all, if Sue was able to vocalise what she was feeling.

"It's your fault," she hissed. "If you hadn't helped them, they wouldn't have been able to leave. They didn't have the means to do that. It would have taken them forever to save and organise. But no, you had to step in and play the knight in shining armour. You had to offer them the world and because of that my daughter is dead!"

"Sue, I—"

"No!" she held up a hand. "She was out that day because she was leaving that night. Saying goodbye to the place where she grew up. The place where she would still be if you hadn't interfered."

"They came to me, Sue, asking for help," Edward said quietly.

"And you said yes."

"Sue," Edward knew better than to step closer to her. "They were going to leave no matter what. And it was going to happen soon. They felt as if they had no other choice." He saw Sue's eyes flash at this point and hurried to continue. "I was trying to give them the best start possible. I didn't want for them to have to struggle and worry."

"And look how that turned out."

"It was always their intention to return, Sue," Edward said. "I heard that in Jake's head. They were feeling trapped and controlled, and they just wanted time to themselves to figure out what they were. Leaving the country was the decision they made. I had absolutely no idea of how all of this was going to turn out...If it had played out as Jake and Leah planned, then tell me- would you rather them out there with no money, struggling or would you have wanted them to be secure...and happy."

"That's a moot point, Edward," Sue said bitterly. "Because it didn't happen that way and now my baby is gone."

Edward nodded slowly. "I am sorry for your loss." He turned to walk out. "That letter...I don't know what is in it, but maybe it can be something you share with Jacob. When you, and him, feel ready to."

Sue did not reply and Edward continued to walk out of the house. After closing the door, he paused slightly, hearing a change in Sue's thoughts.

'_No matter how much you put the blame on others, it is not going to change the fact that it was your fault.'_

With a sigh, Edward broke into a run. The sooner everyone stopped blaming themselves and others, the sooner they would be able to move on. Why could none of them see that Leah's death was just a tragic accident?

_**XXXXX**_

Jacob rolled over sleepily, buried his head in the pillow next to him and inhaled deeply. This had been his morning ritual for some time now, and was one source of comfort he indulged himself in.

But, as he inhaled for the second time, he found himself sitting up suddenly, grasping the pillow in his hands. He brought it to his face once more, trying again.

It was gone.

Her scent was gone.

Rationally, he knew that it was not going to last forever, but that did not make it anymore easier to accept. He inhaled again, telling himself that he could simply imagine the scent was there. Tricking himself should be easy, right.

But, at that point, he could not remember.

Jacob felt his throat tighten and panic started to cloud his mind. What did Leah smell like? Why couldn't he remember? He searched frantically through the recesses of his memories. He could remember what her laugh sounded like, and her smell. He knew what he hair felt like between his fingers. But her scent...it was eluding him.

He felt the urge to throw himself back onto the bed and climb under the covers for the rest of the day, but something stopped him.

'_You promised Sam that you would help him with some landscaping.'_

Jacob shook his head. Sam could always get someone else to help. He didn't need him.

'_So what? Are you just going to hide in your bed every time you forget something? You do realise that this is not going to be the only time. She is dead- gone. There will be no new memories. It will be inevitable that you forget some things.'_

Letting out a growl, Jacob jumped off the bed. He couldn't deal with thoughts like that today. Going to Sam's would be a good thing. It would keep him distracted; give him something else to focus on.

'_That's not going to change the fact that you are going to have to start moving on one of these days.'_

_**XXXXX**_

Sam worked methodically and silently, all the while watching his companion out of the corner of his eye. He could not quite put his finger on it, but when Jacob arrived that morning there was something...different about him. It had been playing on Sam's mind all day.

It was not major, but it was if Jacob was more alert...aware..._alive _even. It didn't appear as if he were just functioning to get through each day.

Stopping to wipe his forehead, Sam noticed Emily stepping out the back door. With a smile, he made his way over.

"Hey," he said, kissing her, and running a hand over her growing bump. "You and Kim have a nice lunch?"

Emily nodded, her eyes on Jacob. "I've been watching you guys from inside- there is something up with him."

"I know," Sam said. "I've been trying to figure it out, but..."

"What's going on? Has he said anything? Has anything happened?" Emily asked, her voice concerned.

"He hasn't said a word, other than asking what needed to be done."

"Should we be worried, or do you think he is ok?"

"To be completely honest..." Sam trailed off, before a wide smile formed on his face. "I think he is fine. Whatever is going on, well, I think that it might be a good thing."

Emily's expression broke into a smile that matched his, and she ruffled his hair. "Well then, I had better let you get back to work, then."

_**XXXXX**_

Sue was sitting on the soft arm chair in the corner of her living room. It had been Harry's favourite. In her hands was the white envelope. She had not been able to bring herself to open it. The darkening sky outside indicated to her that hours had passed since Edward had left, but to her, it felt like nothing.

'_Just do it. You need to see what she had to say.'_

With a deep breath, Sue carefully opened the envelope, not wanting to tear to open. She closed her eyes briefly, before looking down to the sheet of paper in her lap.

_Mum,_

_Ok, so I realise that by this point you are either hysterically worried or fuming angry, so before I go any further, I want to apologise for not telling you that I was leaving- that we were leaving. That being said, I am not sorry that we left. This was something that we had to do and you know exactly why._

_Some part of me understands why you did what you did, why you tried so hard to keep Jacob and I apart. The council and its traditions were such a big part of Dad's life. So much of it made him the person that he was. You were just doing what you thought he would want, and I do understand that._

_However, just because I understand, does not mean that I can agree with you and that is why I am now gone._

_I love Jacob, mum. More than I could ever imagine. He makes me feel whole again. Ugh, I read back those words and cringe. You know me- I am so not that lovey dovey, rainbows and cupcakes kind of person. I am more of the raging bitch kind...I think that the rest of the reservation can attest to that._

_But did you notice? Did you see that I haven't been so much of a bitch lately? (Except when you and Billy implemented that whole separation thing.) I have been happy and I have been enjoying my life. I haven't been able to so that since Sam- can you believe I was able to think about him and write his name without feeling like committing murder?_

_The reason for that is Jacob, mum. He gets me, calls me out on his bullshit and loves me. We were able to help each other, mum. We got each other to move on from past hurts, and we fell in love in the meantime._

_Now, on paper, that doesn't sound like the most stable base for a relationship. I get that. But, the thing is, we just want to have the opportunity to see. We want to know that we gave our relationship every shot it deserves. That way, if things don't work out we can be comforted in the thought that we did everything we could. We didn't ignore what we felt on the whole thought of 'what if?'_

_(I almost did, mum- walk away. I look back now and know that I would have never been able to forgive myself if I did that.)_

_The problem now is that you and Billy, along with others, are not going to give us that chance. How are we supposed to go on with our lives with the knowledge that we may have been the best things to ever happen to one another? How could we live with ourselves knowing that we allowed others to dictate the happenings of our lives?_

_We couldn't, mum. We owed it to ourselves and that is how we came to decision to leave. Being away from everything will give us a chance to be together and see how the future pans out. We don't plan on this being forever; we will be back one day. But only when we are ready. We are calling the shots now, mum. You need to understand that. I have had too many decisions taken out of my own hands. I am taking control now. I will decide how my future will play out. I will decide how I am going to live. I will decide who I am going to be with._

_I am strong enough to do that, mum. And it is because of you that I can be strong. You showed me how to survive and go on, no matter what life throws at you. You showed me that it is ok to break down and that it is ok to go on. I may not have shown it enough recently, but I love you. I look up to you in more ways than I can count. You have done an amazing job with Seth and I. Me leaving is not going to be a happy thing, but be proud that you have raised a daughter strong enough to take a risk. Strong enough to take control of her life and hold on._

_I am sorry that I could not say this to you in person, but hopefully you understand now. Goodbye mum. I am going to miss you so much. But this is something that I have to do on my own. I hope that you can appreciate that._

_Your daughter is going to see the world, happy and in love. Please remember that._

_All my love,  
Leah_

When Sue had finished reading, she brought the paper up, clutching it to her chest. It was all she could do, as the strong facade she had been fighting to keep since the day her daughter died, finally cracked and shattered.

_**XXXXX**_

The front door was wide open, but Sam knocked anyway. He wasn't about to enter somebody's house without an invitation...his mother would _kill _him.

"Is that you Sam?" Billy's voice carried through the house.

"Yup."

"I'm in the lounge room. Come on in."

Wiping his feet, Sam made his way into the house. As he entered the living room, Billy muted the football match that was playing of the TV and greeted his guest with a small smile. "Thanks for coming so quickly."

Sam shrugged. "Well, you sounded kinda worried on the phone. I thought it would be best to come over straight away."

"And Jake?"

Sam sat himself down on the couch. "Emily is currently keeping him occupied with her lemon meringue pie."

"Right," Billy's gaze fell to his hands in his lap. "Look Sam, I hate to put you in this position, but I have to know how he is doing. He still hasn't spoken to me. All he does is sleep, get up, eat and then leave. I heard on the grapevine that he is spending most of his days at you place."

"That's right," Sam said, nodding slowly. "So Jacob is what you wanted to speak about?"

"I'm worried, Sam. I am really worried," Billy admitted. "I am not trying to downplay what he went through, but I was expecting to see some change in him by now. But he is not showing anything, other than the occasionally anger thrown in my direction. He shows no emotion, he shows no hurt...it is like he is blank." Billy paused. "I don't see him getting past Leah's death at this point. I really don't." He looked up at Sam. "What do you think? He spends more time with you. I am not asking you to betray his trust, or to fill me in on everything that he is doing. I just need to know what you see. I need to know if you have the same concerns as me. I need to know what I can do."

"Billy, if you had asked me those questions last week, I would have agreed with you in an instant. I was seeing the same things as you."

Hope lit up in Billy's expression. "But not anymore?"

"I am not saying that anything major has changed, but I know that he will move on," Sam replied. "I am not sure why, but I just feel that he is going to be ok."

Billy exhaled loudly, slumping back into his chair. "Thank you, Sam. That was all I needed to hear."

Sam hesitated before answering. "Other than Jacob saying it," he said quietly. Billy flinched slightly, before giving a short nod. "Billy, it will happen. Jake loves you- you're his dad. He wouldn't have been able to react so drastically, unless he cared deeply for you. You know that right?"

Billy shrugged. "I know and understand why he hates. I can't blame him for that."

"Blame- that is where all problems are stemming from at this point," Sam said. "As soon as all parties involved stop blaming one another and realise that Leah's death was no one's fault- except for the vamps that attacked her- then maybe you can all start moving on."

"You really think that?" Billy asked.

"I know that."

As Sam stood up and left, Billy closed his eyes, clinging to his words. He could only hope that they would be realised.


End file.
